Stressed over knowing and not knowing

It's going on five years since I first complained to my PCP doctor that I have “ intermittent “ vision impairment. I realize that calling it that is not saying much. Confidently he did what PCP’s do: refer to a specialist. It took 3 months to get the appointment. I took with me notes, pictures the looked “ like “ what I was seeing. I made some drawings and it seemed as though the Ophthalmologist was ready to do what they do. I thought to myself that he disregarded everything I said. He confidently announced that people would pay good money to have vision as good as mine “ at my age “. No glasses needed and said I “ virtually “ had 20/20 vision. Good news; right?

No. He saw my good vision and not my bad vision. Worse yet it became part of my permanent records. From that moment on it became another complaint about something that couldn’t be seen nor measured, nor validated as “ real “ suddenly I had a number of complaints that were said to “ be in your head “. Referrals to the shrink. The shrink started using the term “ it’s all in your head “

One complaint was “ chest sensations “ I had so many stress tests, 24 he monitors and even event monitors . When things were caught I was told the monitor malfunctioned because there were “ just too many events “ didn’t matter that I said no there were actually that many events. The stress tests and thallium stress tests were so good that I watched the nurses face as my heart rate would go up then curl down. After 28 minutes 18 at full run the doctor joked that I broke the machine that most people don’t make it past 6 minutes. Good news right? No. Because it went into my records and every time I’d go for another test the doctors looked at what came before.

Then on a basic stress test where once again I was running at a steep incline and after 16 minutes they started my cool down. After the treadmill stopped and I sat down but was still hooked up I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. So I watched the ekg as the tech was writing notes and the nurse was wiping down the treadmill I saw it coming then it happened. Calmly I said: “ what is that “ they asked what and I pointed at the monitor. They both jumped up and started to attending to me. There it was for the first time in years: an SVT. My heart rate was down to 92 dipped for a moment and jumped to 192. I hated how it felt but I was so use to it that I remained calm. It quickly recovered. So that’s one story.

With my eyes I went to my mothers doctor who was a good listener but he too said that I had amazing vision “ for a man my age “ He told me to continue buying dollar store glasses. I had dozens of pairs most 1.00 1.25 1.50 and one pair of 2.50 which I hardly used.

Two days later I was in the ER for unrelated issue and got dumped in a back room around 9 am and around 730 pm the change of shift doctor wanted to know why I was there. The staff didn’t know. He asked if I ate. I had water only. My vision started to fail. I mentioned it to the ER doc and all he had was a line on the floor and chart on the wall. He had my cover one eye at a time and read the chart and told me I was legally blind.

The ER was out of all food and all soda so the doc gave me 3 small and one large jaw breaker “ for sugar “. He released me into the night to drive home 40 miles. I pulled in front of a car coming out of the parking lot and nearly hit three people crossing against the light that I didn’t see.

So here I am getting ready to seem the neuro opthomologist <~~~~ spell check doesn’t have an option. In any event I found out that this team already hug up records which I didn’t want them to see because in this whole story the kiss of death is electronic records which IMHO biases the doctors.

Sorry to drag this out but to me there’s a pattern especially if one is otherwise healthy. So we’ll see if delaying equals permanent impairment.