@shoop1966, welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I also added your question to the Caregivers group (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/) so you can connect with fellow caregivers like @IndianaScott @lah and others.

My family faced similar decisions when my father was diagnosed with late-stage colorectal cancer. They said 6 months without treatment and guessed at possibly 12 months with chemo. These of course were only educated guesses and colorectal cancer is a slow progressing cancer. This may not be the length that would be extended for your wife. Only your cancer team could make possibly estimate based on your wife's current health status and cancer progression. It is a good question to ask them.

We had the talk together as a family. Before going to the appointment to choose whether or not to have chemo, my father had decided not to have treatment. Much to our surprise, he changed his mind in the appointment with the oncologist. It was explained that he could start chemo and if he wished he could stop. That was the option he choose. We were supportive of both his original and his changed decision. After 3 months of chemo, he decided the side effects were not worth it. He stopped chemo and was with us for 10 more months, making it to my parents' 51st wedding anniversary. All in all we had 13 more months together. Whether it was 1 month or 13, it was helpful for us to talk about it.

Shoop, how are you and wife handling this news? Are you able to talk about it yet?