Neuropathy Medications

@jesfactsmon Linda's relapse into pain free mode must have made you feel better, too, Hank. I'm afraid I don't always notice when I'm not in pain, and/or don't fully appreciate it. Mostly it happens when I'm in the garden, doing things I enjoy.

I'm afraid I set myself up for more work than I'll be able to handle. I get catalogs from a few plant sources, one being Brecks. They sell bulbs from Holland, page after page of beautiful tulips, lilies, daffodils, peonies, allium, crocus and various others. I ordered a bunch of tulips, daffodils and daylillies, scheduled to arrive in the middle of this month. I need to first figure out where I can plant them where the deer can't get to them and away from moles and voles and gophers. Then, prepare planting beds against the day when the bulbs and rhizomes arrive. I might have to store some in the cellar until I recover from back surgery. And I have quite a list of fall chores, digging and dividing iris, daylillies, tulips, cutting things back, pruning and lifting bulbs to overwinter in the cellar. Hopefully I can get things done before the next surgery. Looks like I'll have ample opportunity to distract myself from pain. LOL

@rwinney I'm sorry neuropathy is getting the best of you. You have more than any one person should have to bear, Rachel. Same goes for @sunnyflower . You both show an amazing amount of strength and determination, and at the same time so supportive of others.

@lorirenee1 Level 5 is difficult. It's unsettling having that level of depression and dealing with exhaustion that is made worse by thoughts of suicide. Level 4 is a dangerous place. Not a good place to linger. I lived at that place for a long time. I think that I'm possibly part of a minority of actively suicidal people who manage to survive. I had a bunch of therapists from mediocre to wonderful who stuck with me and helped me find my way out.

I was still fighting to stay above 4 when neuropathy pain hit. That set me back for quite a while, and I know that the comorbidity of depression (& anxiety, PTSD and OCD) and chronic pain is a killer, if not literally, at least figuratively. As Sunny said, it's unrelenting. Which makes a few hours of relief that Linda experienced and the time that I experienced with my scs excruciatingly pleasurable.

Philip Yancey and Dr. Paul Brand wrote a book entitled "Pain. The gift no one wants to receive", or a similar title. I don't know if I want to read it. My wife has all of Yancey's books. She wrote a note of appreciation to him, and he responded with a nice hand written note.

Well, I took the Cadillac to the shop this morning, and he ran enough diagnostics to know that he has to check out some ABS modules. So, my wife is going to follow me to the shop now and leave the car there. This is why we've always had 2 cars.

Jim

@jesfactsmon Linda's relapse into pain free mode must have made you feel better, too, Hank. I'm afraid I don't always notice when I'm not in pain, and/or don't fully appreciate it. Mostly it happens when I'm in the garden, doing things I enjoy.

I'm afraid I set myself up for more work than I'll be able to handle. I get catalogs from a few plant sources, one being Brecks. They sell bulbs from Holland, page after page of beautiful tulips, lilies, daffodils, peonies, allium, crocus and various others. I ordered a bunch of tulips, daffodils and daylillies, scheduled to arrive in the middle of this month. I need to first figure out where I can plant them where the deer can't get to them and away from moles and voles and gophers. Then, prepare planting beds against the day when the bulbs and rhizomes arrive. I might have to store some in the cellar until I recover from back surgery. And I have quite a list of fall chores, digging and dividing iris, daylillies, tulips, cutting things back, pruning and lifting bulbs to overwinter in the cellar. Hopefully I can get things done before the next surgery. Looks like I'll have ample opportunity to distract myself from pain. LOL

@rwinney I'm sorry neuropathy is getting the best of you. You have more than any one person should have to bear, Rachel. Same goes for @sunnyflower . You both show an amazing amount of strength and determination, and at the same time so supportive of others.

@lorirenee1 Level 5 is difficult. It's unsettling having that level of depression and dealing with exhaustion that is made worse by thoughts of suicide. Level 4 is a dangerous place. Not a good place to linger. I lived at that place for a long time. I think that I'm possibly part of a minority of actively suicidal people who manage to survive. I had a bunch of therapists from mediocre to wonderful who stuck with me and helped me find my way out.

I was still fighting to stay above 4 when neuropathy pain hit. That set me back for quite a while, and I know that the comorbidity of depression (& anxiety, PTSD and OCD) and chronic pain is a killer, if not literally, at least figuratively. As Sunny said, it's unrelenting. Which makes a few hours of relief that Linda experienced and the time that I experienced with my scs excruciatingly pleasurable.

Philip Yancey and Dr. Paul Brand wrote a book entitled "Pain. The gift no one wants to receive", or a similar title. I don't know if I want to read it. My wife has all of Yancey's books. She wrote a note of appreciation to him, and he responded with a nice hand written note.

Well, I took the Cadillac to the shop this morning, and he ran enough diagnostics to know that he has to check out some ABS modules. So, my wife is going to follow me to the shop now and leave the car there. This is why we've always had 2 cars.

Jim

@jesfactsmon Hi Hank. I strictly type on my phone and use voice to text when I need to but never for here. It's ok but a little helter skelter with mis-interpretatation and punctuation mishaps. We have one laptop which I'm not a fan of using. Thanks for bringing this up as I have recently given consideration as to how to work smarter not harder. Now, at this moment, I'm doing ok with short quick typing. If I don't play my cards right and overuse my fine motor skills I will set myself back. Perhaps you've inspired me to try voice to text for my Connect messages. I am trying to be a 2 handed typer as of late to relieve some of the pressure on my dominant side. Thanks for the offer and insight. We're on the same page.

@jesfactsmon @rwinney First, Hank, I am glad I help you too!! I get sick of myself and my pain terribly. If I can get out of my sickness, and help you, then I am happy. Rachel, I was just thinking about you and if you are still managing to walk better. I have read your post, and marvel how strange the human body and spirit really are. You did all that walking on your get away, and now, are not able to again. I understand this totally, as I see the unpredictability of Neuropathy, totally. It kills me that you have trouble in so many places, and yet you have this flicker of hope that seems to shine most of the time. Two nights ago, I watched TV for hours, pain free. Last night, the pain was excruciating, even with the DRG. I do not begin to understand and do not even try to figure things out anymore. I think that as humans, we want to be in control, but there is no control with Neuropathy. I control only myself, and walk daily, and do specific foot exercises. I am exhausted still from surgery. I try to do my best, and that is all I can do. The Neuropathy is stronger than me. I just try to distract myself, and cry when the tears come. I am so sorry your ability to walk has lessoned. I think maybe you had this huge adrenal rush because you wanted to walk so very much on your vacation. Kind of a fight or flight reaction. Hank, I am glad that this Forum helps you. I do think you need all of us, as you have your burdens at home. Love to you both, Lori

@jimhd Jim, you are becoming for me one of the most inspiring people I never met. I am just in absolute mind numbing awe of what you have faced, especially the last 15-20 years. I have never known someone who has dealt with your particular set of conditions, not even close. If I had a hat on it would come off at this moment to you. You are just the greatest, most awe-inspiring person. I really appreciate hearing what you have to say about anything, your life and what you face, how you overcome adversity. Like seriously monumental adversity. I am glad you are a survivor and hope you remain on this planet for as long as God intends for you to. My best, good friend, Hank

@jimhd Jim, you are becoming for me one of the most inspiring people I never met. I am just in absolute mind numbing awe of what you have faced, especially the last 15-20 years. I have never known someone who has dealt with your particular set of conditions, not even close. If I had a hat on it would come off at this moment to you. You are just the greatest, most awe-inspiring person. I really appreciate hearing what you have to say about anything, your life and what you face, how you overcome adversity. Like seriously monumental adversity. I am glad you are a survivor and hope you remain on this planet for as long as God intends for you to. My best, good friend, Hank

@jimhd A quick chime in!!!! You, my dear, are utterly inspiring, thoughtful, and just fabulous. An intense, intelligent, man. Lori Renee

@lorirenee1 jimhd Lori, I agree 100%. Jim we need to break down that horrible history of yours and clean out some of that old s**t that is still haunting you. I know it's very hard to eradicate and impossible to ignore. Over on the Depression discussion yesterday, I was talking about how I did "The Work" back in the late 80's. The thing that was so powerful about it (which I had forgotten about but Linda reminded me yesterday) was the process of going back, in your mind and emotions, to times in your childhood when you were hurt or abused in some way, and viewing yourself as that little innocent and unprotected child who had to go through that. John Bradshaw, who we spoke about over in the other discussion, also wrote a book about "Healing the child within" (or something like that). That was what made the biggest change in me, it was dramatic, and after the change happened, the "old me" never came back, i.e. I was healed, basically. I could not believe it when it happened, it seemed too good to be true! I think that could happen for you as well. I wonder if any of your therapists have ever discussed this with you. Best, Hank

@lorirenee1 jimhd Lori, I agree 100%. Jim we need to break down that horrible history of yours and clean out some of that old s**t that is still haunting you. I know it's very hard to eradicate and impossible to ignore. Over on the Depression discussion yesterday, I was talking about how I did "The Work" back in the late 80's. The thing that was so powerful about it (which I had forgotten about but Linda reminded me yesterday) was the process of going back, in your mind and emotions, to times in your childhood when you were hurt or abused in some way, and viewing yourself as that little innocent and unprotected child who had to go through that. John Bradshaw, who we spoke about over in the other discussion, also wrote a book about "Healing the child within" (or something like that). That was what made the biggest change in me, it was dramatic, and after the change happened, the "old me" never came back, i.e. I was healed, basically. I could not believe it when it happened, it seemed too good to be true! I think that could happen for you as well. I wonder if any of your therapists have ever discussed this with you. Best, Hank

Dear Ones, another idea some therapists embrace, is to picture your parents or whoever your abuser/s were, as little kids themselves. I think it's b/c they too were likely abused or went through hardships in some way. It makes it easier to forgive them and we know, forgiveness frees you. They say, if we continue in our pain we are continuing to give them power/control over us. Oy vei, so complex.

Interesting I thought, that in Psalm 46:10 which says, "Be still and know that I am God", the word "still" in the original language, means to cease striving (anxting), stop fighting, relax and it also means to “put your hands down”. Sometimes we put our hands up to defend ourselves from all that life can bring our way. You've seen the bumper sticker and heard the saying, "let go and let God". Lay this pain at His feet. He can certainly relate!

Another thing that helps me in my struggle w/ my abusers, is that we have a just God, and in His time and way, He will deal w/ them accordingly. The horror and unspeakable trauma a lot of us have gone through in life, is heartwrentching. We can be healed. I haven't arrived yet by any means but I believe it's possible. I've come a long way and I hope and pray you all are experiencing some victory along the way as well. I keep laying my pain (emotional, physical), memories, thoughts etc. at God's feet but keep taking them back again. The more I focus on His love for me and take in the healing scriptures, the better minute, hour or day I have. I hope and pray for healing for all of us.

One last thought. No one should ever minimize their own pain or circumstances. We fall into the trap that we don't have it as bad as others but I had a brilliant godly therpaist who told me never to do that; it's counterproductive and simply not true. I tend to do that a lot. I know she was right to tell me not to and I'm getting there slowly.

Thank you for sharing your pain. Thank you for caring so deeply. You all are a huge blessing to me! In Christ's unfathomable love, Sunnyflower 🙂