Isolation and depression: Scared of the coming winter

It's hard to say "Be patient" when I know it's hard for you to be patient but the wheels of medical appointments especially during COVID do tend to move slowly but they will get back to you. Good news is that they will get back to you, it will probably be a video or phone appointment and it's not winter yet. Hang in there, stay busy and I am praying for you along with a lot of others.

I am so very sorry for what you are experiencing! Unfortunately, given my health challenges I am not available to talk or 'pen pal' on a regular basis. Always know, however, that people are thinking of you and praying for you! Do you have a counselor or a life coach? Both options are available via computer and MN may allow face-to-face sessions??? If you don't have a friend or relative with whom you can talk, PLEASE establish a relationship with a Counselor and/or a Life Coach! Human connections are very important to our well-being! I know this firsthand and struggle with it myself. I am not a therapist and I will not give you advice or strategies to address your eating/weight gain (sounds like you are concerned about both) or your marriage of convenience; other than to encourage you to think about is it "convenient" to live with someone whom you do not love and who does not love you? We all deserve to be loved and experiencing love (giving and receiving) is a vital component of wellness. I think there are people in this group who have the ability to regularly correspond...I hope you find someone! A program called Visiting Angels might be able to help (visitingangels.com). Have you googled online support groups (other than this one) for people experiencing depression and anxiety? You could contact the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) and learn about resources and support groups or people to talk with in your area. Please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Many, many many people are having the same feelings as you. Please take care of yourself...I truly believe you will find someone with whom to talk...either virtually or in person...there are lots of resources out there! Depression and anxiety make it hard to take that first step and investigate what's out there and then establish contact, but keep going! YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!

@jamsie Go ahead and contact the mental health services yourself. Don't wait for them to wade through emails to yours! You are reaching out and would like to get some direction now. We're right there with you, go ahead, contact them!
Ginger

Once again, I thank you for your words of wisdom. I am anxious to start my counseling because it is so necessary, but I do understand I have to be patient. I am doing my best at all of this, but I am also feeling humbled by all of the people who are praying for me and "get it", how awesome is this!

I actually hate to admit it, but I don't even know who the clinic I go to is connected to. I will certainly check into this. Thanks for the advice, I wouldn't have thought of it.

@jamsie Call your clinic to find out. Something that has been working for me is to start writing like you are talking to someone. You know you don't need to worry about punctuation, or spelling, or grammar, or even paragraphs! Just write. I would bet you a donut or cup of tea that you will feel better just getting some of it out. Then if you want, burn it in a safe manner. I'll be waiting here to listen if you do!
Ginger

Laurry, I don't know if I was supposed to log in each time I post, but I am reaching out to you tonight to see how you are and asking if you still want to be a support for each other. I would love to know how you are doing!

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and praying that you don't feel alone today! Have you thought of using something like "Facetime" or "Skype" or "Zoom" to have conversations with your quilting-sewing friends? Our grandkids use Facetime when they visit...they will roam the house with their phones connected to mom or dad; not necessarily talking, but can see mom and dad while they are playing and vice-versa. You may be able to set something up whereby your computer or phone's camera could capture you quilting or sewing (and your friend's could do the same on her end) and you could quilt-sew and talk like you formerly did (with a technology twist)!

Don't despair, Many people have your same condition. Have you seen a psychiatrist for medications? If you're not seeing a psych please do so as soon as possible. Stay on this side and discuss your condition and look for remedies. I know personally, Xanax works wonders for anxiety. You need to endeavor to persevere in this journey. It will take some time to find right meds for you. Chin up you're not alone.

It has been awhile since I posted anything, partly because I wasn't sure how to follow friends or Mentors communicating with me. I get many, many emails and I am confused if any are directed to me. Also finding friends who have responded directly to my posts. I have a hard time understanding this forum I guess.
I am taking this opportunity and hoping all who have been so kind with their words of encouragement and advice see this. On Friday I heard from my clinic and they will be contacting me this coming week to set up video counseling. I am soooo very excited about this. The need to talk to someone gets greater every day, as well as the loneliness. I do walk for about an hour most days, and I am glad it is still nice enough to do that, but then I end up taking a long nap afterwards as I am out of shape and overweight. Eating is still my guilty pleasure. Shame follows. I am still journaling, and trying to focus more on gratitude (believe it or not). As with any journaling, reading them another day is helpful to me.