Isolation and depression: Scared of the coming winter

Hi @jamsie, welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. This is a welcoming place where you can connect online with others. COVID has certainly increased people's isolation and I, too, worry about the coming winter months for those states and countries where snow and cold force us inside. I think @liz223 @magspierce @stsopoci @smilie @ihatediabetes and other members know what you're talking about.

I'm glad to hear that you have hobbies, like sewing and quilting. Have you been sewing masks by any chance? What physical activities do you like to do? Are you able to get outside?

Hello my name is Kim. I know what you are talking about. I have anxiety and panic attacks, my husband in the beginning didn’t know what I was going through so many years he would be like you fine 5 minutes ago what’s your problem. He had no idea and anyone who has not gone through this cannot even begin to understand. Then one day my husband had major surgery, he was cut from his chest down to both legs, Arorta bypass, that is when he started with the anxiety and panic attacks. He turned to me and apologized and asked how do I do it, get through the anxiety and panic attacks. I said 10 yrs of counseling and my stubbornness. If you have read any of my replies for depression and anxiety I have learned with medication and my go to words or sayings to myself that I am stronger than this. It’s just my mind trying to bully me and I just won’t let it. I am a not giving up, I Love Life, my husband and children. This is a good place to always reach out to anyone or someone specific. Hang in there and never let your mind Bully you😊🥰

Thank you for responding. I will check the other members you suggested. I have washed the fabric, ironed it, and cut out the fabric for at least 100 masks, and my cousin then finishes them. I have been walking 3-4+ days a week since spring, but I was hospitalized with really severe pneumonia in January, and it continued through most of February, My endurance is pretty low, and I am not sure if it is a combination of depression, weight gain, and just laziness. I sleep only a few hours a night, I am not sure exactly why, but I know my brain jumps from issue to issue to issue and won't stop. I am pretty scared to walk outdoors in the winter for fear of falling, so I will have to find a gym to go to if one is open. My children and grandchildren live 5 hours away, and once school starts I also worry about being quarantined from them and not being able to see them. That is a huge concern also. Thank you once again.

Thank you Kim. In 45 years of marriage my husband has not gone to a Doctor, and has little understanding or empathy for my problems. I have had breast cancer with bilateral mastectomies, a hysterectomy, and surgery for kidney stones 5-6 times. He does come for the procedures, but then he is absent. I don't wish him ill health, but it sounds like that is what it took for you to get him to understand where you were coming from with your anxiety and depression. People do not seem to understand that these are not choices we make, and although medication helps, it is for sure not a cure-all. Good luck to you and your husband. I appreciate your advice.

Thank you, through everything I have endured I think I have come to try to understand what someone is feeling and if I don’t I at least try to make sure that I am there for them. It’s hard to explain to someone something that you alone don’t understand why this is happening to you. I do believe in the power of talking to yourself and telling yourself you are strong. When my mind races I try to change my train of thought, my favorite song, clean, draw, it’s something I do it’s like changing the channel on the TV when a horror movie is on, change the station. (If that makes sense) Life is short don’t let your mind racing WIN. Your are Bigger and Stronger to Win the mind. 🥰😊 Stay Safe and Always know that we understand and will listen😊🥰

Oh my goodness!!! You are not alone! I was just diagnosed with depression and anxiety and ptsd due to a 38 year emotionally abusive marriage that I am still in. The activities that helped me connect have also been discontinued. I also live in Minnesota and have had the exact same thoughts. I am so very glad you shared this!!!!

I know it's hard and winter is extra confining. I'm 70 and have that depression history. I make myself pick up my hobby and just accept the fact that I won't have a lot of communication with my husband. But my closest and best friend and communication is with Jesus through lots of time in His Word, reading and memorizing Scripture. Also a great way to get my mind off myself and my worries every day is to pick up a journal and pen and write down at least three things I am thankful for. A gratitude journal has been recommended by numerous people including my Psychiatrist!! You'll be glad you did!

Laurry I don't wish this life on anyone, but it does help to know I am not alone in an emotionally abusive marriage. At our age it seems impossible to make a change, finances being a huge problem in my case. I feel like I try my best to be positive and keep busy, but every day is a struggle and I find myself getting lazier, taking naps, having pity parties I guess. I try to remember how lucky I am to have my beautiful children and grandchildren, and that so very many people have it worse than I do. It is so hard to stay positive when depression rules your life. I hope we can keep in touch here.

I have been journaling off and on during my whole marriage and it reads like a broken record, but even so, it is still helpful to put pen to paper instead of saying something I would later regret. A gratitude journal is a very good idea, and I also have seen that as one way of helping myself. I am not a religious person, but that is something I envy in people I know are, as they seem happier and cope better by "handing it over to God". I need reminders of these things, so thank you.

Kim, you make some excellent points. Loving oneself would help in this whole process, believing that I can win is something I will try to work on. Having people understand and listen is HUGE. THank you!