@januaryjane I also have cptsd. I've been treated in various ways and have experienced things as an EMT that were traumatic. I don't think that the trauma or abuse is as terrible as wartime PTSD, but bad enough to cause mental health problems.

Motility must be a somewhat common, in various ways. I have esophageal dysmotility, which makes eating a slow process, waiting for each bite time for the valves at the top and bottom of the esophagus to open and let the food mosey on down into my stomach. I haven't heard of any solution. As I've said, I have neuropathy, which is causing problems with swallowing, as well as double vision, worsening tinnitus, bowel and urinary issues (I take Oxybutinin to reduce the number of bathroom trips), beginning of balance risk, and the problems with small fiber neuropathy besides, numbness and tingling and burning pain from my toes to mid-calf.

It's been interesting to see how medical conditions affect mental health conditions. It seems that pain and illnesses below the brain have a noticeable impact on the depression and other brain issues. It's like a cyclical process. Motility can make a person more depressed, depression exacerbates motility, then the motility (or any other illness) exacerbates depression, etc. So round and round it goes. The same thing happens with anxiety and PTSD and suicidal ideation and bipolar disorders. The label is comorbidity, the challenge that we face in trying to treat several things at once.

It's a reality that multiple diagnoses create challenges for everyone involved. I know from too much experience how that works. It can be debilitating. It can make it a problem with making decisions, and so many other interactions. One thing that therapists can do is help us navigate all of that. It means a lot have someone who can help us keep our perspective and learn to make rational decisions.

Finding a good therapist can take some time. For me, the pool of options is extremely limited, specifically they have to accept Medicare. Most of mine have been working for the hospital, and their job here is usually just a stepping stone to better (greener) pastures. After my best ever therapist had to leave for family trouble in Maine, I saw his replacement a few times, just long enough to know that I couldn't continue wasting my time there. And a few months later I found online a counselor who met clients one day a week in the next town over, just 30 minutes away, and accepted Medicare. And since I have a supplemental insurance, there's no cost to me except for the travel expense. My only concern is that he'll decide to retire. He's old enough to do just that. But in the meantime I'll enjoy my time with him.

I encourage you to find a quiet time to think clearly about how you will move forward with your life. Perhaps you will find a healthy perspective during those quiet times of meditation.

Blessings to you.

Jim