1. < Depression & Anxiety

What does it take to moving from low self-esteem - to self acceptance

Posted by caroleeuits @caroleeuits, Jun 2, 2020

I was asked to talk about what self acceptance was to me on these pages - and I responded - see earlier posts in late May.

But what I want to also do is to hear is from youall and your journeying toward self-acceptance. I find that my own coming to self-acceptance is my own story - but what about yours?

What are the common threads that you have found within you that appeared and grew? What maked them grow - and what has thus happened through you - and those of others around you by their engagement with you? This is more about that internal process of becoming who you are now.

I see a lot of people read books - but I am guessing while they are valuable resources, your own life-quests tell more incredible journeys of how all the influences upon you have mattered. What is your journey to self-acceptance? Hangups? Ahaas? And finally, what are your-self discovered deep truths that empower your self-acceptance at the point you now are ?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

lilypaws | @lilypaws | Jul 23, 2020
In reply to @gingerw "@marjou Your situation is similar to mine, even same number of siblings. I do not have..." + (show)
@gingerw

@marjou Your situation is similar to mine, even same number of siblings. I do not have communication from two of them, one once in a while, one every month or so. You're right. It is a struggle, and has filled many a page of writings. For me, the only way to gain self-esteem was to break away.
Ginger

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@gingerw I know how it is we have a son, his wife that we have now contact with. My husband was hard on Ryan doing his growing up ages. I guess I should say he was verbally abusive, which he will not admit to. He is a lot better now since we have been through marriage counseling. My daughter has gotten over it through special Christian means.
The also have an 8 year old daughter, who I haven't seen since she was 3, except for skping and only when she's at her grandmothers.My son is a professor, but can't teach because he has bipolar and his wife is also a successful professor, The were at Duke, but in NYC now. She's at Columbia. I feel part of the no contact is caused by her. She's very controlling. We can't even send anything to our granddaughter and have to mail it to the other grandmother in Chicago. It's really bad and with the covid-19 they won't be going to Chicago. I don't know what to do but pray.
Jeanie

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kimcvi | @kimcvi | Jul 23, 2020

I am so sorry for you. I couldn’t image not seeing my kids. I don’t have any grandchildren at this time but that must be horrible not being able to see them. I am sending you all good prayers and happy thought your way. Please take care and don’t give up.

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marjou | @marjou | Jul 23, 2020
In reply to @kimcvi "Hi my name is Kim I’m 54 yrs old and new to this. I have struggled..." + (show)
@kimcvi

Hi my name is Kim I’m 54 yrs old and new to this. I have struggled my entire life with self-esteem. I have been in therapy and I take medications for my depression and panic attacks. Both my parents just past away recently but I did get a little bit of closer with my Dad before he past. My issue is I am forgettable, once I leave this world no one will even think of me let alone miss me. I do know what you are going through. I always have to give myself pep talks 😊

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@kimcvi So sorry for the loss of your parents.

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kimcvi | @kimcvi | Jul 23, 2020

Hello everyone, I want to say Thank you for this Mayo Connect it’s a wonderful thing. If I could suggest something to everyone who is have a hard time coping, this is what I do everyday and have instilled this in my children but every night before I go to bed I give Thanks for another day and say tomorrow will be better. In the morning I give myself a pep talk with some go to words. I use these words throughout the day if I’m having one of my frustrating days. It can be simple like, “You are stronger than this” , “Don’t let this Beat you” or my favorite “I’ve got things to do, Let’s get it done”. Everyone has to find their inner strength which Can be hard but we are all Stong. Hope this helps someone😊

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Jul 23, 2020
In reply to @kimcvi "Hi, I am married my husband is a real good guy. He Loves me and all..." + (show)
@kimcvi

Hi, I am married my husband is a real good guy. He Loves me and all my issues😊 I am on 2 different kind of med that I have been on for about 20 plus years. I was in therapy and learned how to control most of my panic attacks. I am pretty happy most of the time but my self worth never goes away. I am grateful for my husband and 2 children but the thought of being forgotten is always on my mind. I’ll tell you something that I always do, when ever we go anywhere I always take my keys in case they desert me that way I can get back in the house. I can laugh about it and my husband just reminds me that he isn’t going anywhere unless I am with him. So I have learned to except my issues and laugh. It doesn’t go away but it makes it a lot easier to cope.

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@kimcvi, I can understand that feeling of, as soon as "I am gone, I'll be forgotten." Or my over-controlling self even goes as far as to think "will I be remembered the way I want to be remembered?" It's not really for me to determine I suppose. But for those who care, perhaps you could start to create things for them to remember you.

@gingerw is facilitating this journaling group on Connect. Maybe you could start a journal of the things you'd like those close to you to know about you.
- Journaling - The Write Stuff For You? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/

If writing isn't for you, maybe you could start an album or treasure box of things that are meaningful to you for others to discover. Any other ideas?

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kimcvi | @kimcvi | Jul 23, 2020

That is really awesome. I have been thinking about journaling but don’t know how to start. I will take you up on that site. Thank you so much😊💕

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Jul 24, 2020
In reply to @kimcvi "Hello everyone, I want to say Thank you for this Mayo Connect it’s a wonderful thing...." + (show)
@kimcvi

Hello everyone, I want to say Thank you for this Mayo Connect it’s a wonderful thing. If I could suggest something to everyone who is have a hard time coping, this is what I do everyday and have instilled this in my children but every night before I go to bed I give Thanks for another day and say tomorrow will be better. In the morning I give myself a pep talk with some go to words. I use these words throughout the day if I’m having one of my frustrating days. It can be simple like, “You are stronger than this” , “Don’t let this Beat you” or my favorite “I’ve got things to do, Let’s get it done”. Everyone has to find their inner strength which Can be hard but we are all Stong. Hope this helps someone😊

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@kimcvi Resilience in the face of adversity is a good thing! You are showing that you do care enough about yourself, giving the pep talks that you do. I bet you are supportive of others, too, and they won't forget you nor your words/actions.

@colleenyoung mentioned the journaling discussion, and I have found writing down thoughts/feelings/events and memories help to heal me alot. To start, you take a pen and paper, just write. You can write a letter to yourself, if you'd like. We have listed some books there if you want to look at them. Remember, we are here for you, and want to support you.
Ginger

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kimcvi | @kimcvi | Jul 24, 2020

Thank you. I will check them out. I do believe in new days and I try to be supportive, I try to treat people on how I want to be treated. I want my children ( they are adults) to know they are Loved. My problem is I cannot image someone Loving me as much as I Love them. I am nothing special, so I do not want my children to think the way I do regarding not being special.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Jul 24, 2020
In reply to @kimcvi "Thank you. I will check them out. I do believe in new days and I try..." + (show)
@kimcvi

Thank you. I will check them out. I do believe in new days and I try to be supportive, I try to treat people on how I want to be treated. I want my children ( they are adults) to know they are Loved. My problem is I cannot image someone Loving me as much as I Love them. I am nothing special, so I do not want my children to think the way I do regarding not being special.

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@kimcvi You have a husband who is a great guy. You have two children. You are special in their eyes, and perhaps this is enough for you. Everyone has something to contribute, even when we don't realize what it is.
Ginger

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