What does it take to moving from low self-esteem - to self acceptance

Hi @marjou,

I suppose this bag theory could have an impact on who we pick for our closest relationships. So what do we do with these empty bags? I have found that cognitive behavior therapy worked well for me. David Burns wrote a lot of books/workbooks on this idea of changing our thoughts.

Has anyone worked with cognitive behavior therapy as a way of changing/filling the contents of our bags?

All of you have responded in a very thoughtful, insightful manner. If I could, I would like to approach this from another angle.

Let's look at each person who becomes an adult as though they are carrying around a paper grocery bag. If they had positive childhood experiences such as loving, encouraging supporting family, and acceptance for who they are then their bag is filled with good things and they are mostly content with the world.

Let's look at another adult who comes into adulthood from an unloving background. Perhaps they were abused, neglected, were given negative feedback about themselves and their behavior, had siblings who were favored over them. That person goes into adulthood with a near-empty bag. They constantly look to others to fill their empty bags. If someone fails to fill their bag (with the good things that they missed in childhood or worse yet add more bad garbage to their bag) they become devasted.

This example is not my own but from an excellent therapist.

Can anyone (besides me) relate to this "bag theory" of adulthood? Are we all, to some extent, looking for someone to fill our bag? Share your thoughts.

Be persistent at putting off the neg and make your focus kindness love, understanding, it's worth it, I remember clearly the day I decided I was going t focus on the better and stop w the negitive yrs ago. The negatives are triggers that are easy t fall into,. The triggers are a signal to stop and find a different way , it's a battle for the mind and your future.

Be persistent at putting off the neg and make your focus kindness love, understanding, it's worth it, I remember clearly the day I decided I was going t focus on the better and stop w the negitive yrs ago. The negatives are triggers that are easy t fall into,. The triggers are a signal to stop and find a different way , it's a battle for the mind and your future.

It's not our place to judge others or compare, this only leads to eitherpride or lowering ourself esteem. Choose to accept yourself as good enough for you, and know your are God's creation, let God be your validation and affirmation, Stop looking for affirmation thro others, and love yourself.

Grammad Hello Amen to this. Sometimes I get scared that my boyfriend might hurt me cause I asked him to separate. He seems ok with it but my PTSD comes out. I start hiding things that I do not want to be broken when he leaves. I get all these scary feelings for no reason. I learned about COdependency. I am in some good groups. By the way, I have protection all over my home too. I guess my PTSD from the past is coming out. People know not to mess with me too much.

I have carried that bag around all my life. The comment about negative feedback hit home. It sends to be that the bag is full of those negative comments and I add to them always. The positive things don't necessarily fit in the bag. Lately I've been doing better but seeing back and forth. What helps is many long years of therapy, the energy healer, plus self compassion meditation that I'm learning. I'm at odds with one of my children which is agribusiness the problem. The comments on this site helps. Too