Thank you all for sharing your experience with me.
You asked me to tell you more about myself. I am happily married to an amazing man who adores me, between to 2 of us we have 6 sons, 11 grandchildren. I worked for 20 years in the cosmetology field before making a career change about 10 years ago. I work for an awesome non profit and have wonderful people in my immediate circle. We have one son who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18, and my mother who has a mood disorder. My siblings are disabled and do not help with her care, and much of the caregiving falls on me, she's very frail and unhappy. While I try very hard to make sure her needs are met, she is very difficult to be around, as she had BPD. In other words, she loves to hate me. I have risen above her problems, and limit my exposure to her negativity. It still lands once in a while. She and my father divorced when I was very small and he and I were close. I cared for my father when he became terminal, and saw him through to the other side, it was an honor to give this last act of love and kindness to my dad. After his death, I became very weak and depressed. I went to the Dr when I couldn't get out of bed on my own, to eventually diagnosed with extremely low thyroid function. My father had graves disease, and all my aunt's have low thyroid, so I'm sure I have had this most my life. The symptoms of low thyroid include many of the side effects of antidepressants, and I am at a place now in my life, I don't want to have the double whammy. My husband and I are approaching our retirement years, and we want to enjoy what time we have together, after a long journey helping so many others. I thought of TMS as an alternative to my anxiety and bouts of depression.