Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

I agree, @davej. It is just stuff with memories. My mom and I are having a good time going through her stuff bit by bit and talking through the memories as we sort, throw out, and give away. I'm glad that we're doing this now before I have to do it on my own. But part of me also wonders if I'd appreciate the wandering through memories when she's gone. I could and probably should take pictures of the most important memories I wish to hold tight and revisit. Food for thought. I wish I were more organized with my digital photos. That would be a good place to start.

Great to do it now so you can ask questions. Every once In a while a relative might find a picture or a piece of artwork and ask if anybody knows a story behind it. Sometimes nobody knows on pictures so we make up a story and write in on back that gets a laugh sometimes. Have a blessed day dave

Buy a timer that you see on lights you can set it and forget it

I was an executive, but suffered a bicycle accident, rendering me with, it appears, some neurological damage. I downsized out of necessity. I live on SSDI, I lovingly advertise that I had to retire early at age 50, but it's due to SSDI and my bike accident. I moved into the home of my childhood. I couldn't sell it anyway. I've learned to love it here, many new friends in town, this is where I grew up. My cousin was the auditor, so I have some name recognition in the area. But my high school friends/comrads have moved away for the most part.

Old photos are so much fun. During the worst of Covid19 quarantining, I opened up Ancestry.com and uploaded photos and learned of my family, but this was an adventure for me, because of my adoption. I was adopted through a closed adoption. My birth name is Molly, I found my siblings at age 50, too late in life, I wish I'd known them sooner! They were looking for Molly. I'm thinking of changing my legal name to Molly, I love the name, I love knowing my 1/2 brothers and sisters. I'm blessed with 2 families.

@funcountess, Good to read your post and to hear from you! I had numerous bags of items to donate and although Goodwill has a truck very near my home, I prefer to donate to Salvation Army or Council for the Blind because they pay their top adminstrators so much less than those of Goodwill.

Salvation Army has stopped receiving donations during Covid but was really surprised on Saturday that the Blind donation center was closed, too. Another resale store for Habitat for Humanity, which I've made donations to as well has also closed its store.

The pandemic is adversely affecting all charities and while I donate goods and money to specific charities, this year the number of solicitations from all sorts of additional charities has flooded my mailbox.

I wish they wouldn't send notepads, calendars or other small enticements because those in no way influence my decisions. One charity even sent a pr. of socks along with other small "trinkets". I've been told that charities often "sell" their donor lists to other charities and if true, wish they would stop.

I've sent back requests in another envelope with a request to be removed from their mailing lists but those have been ignored. Does anyone have a solution for stopping unwanted charity solicitations?

Was your new home built for a wheelchair, or was it a retrofit? My house has 17 stairs in it. If I became physically disabled, it would be tough to maneuver the 17 stairs in it. I often think I should cut my losses on this home, and trade it in on a 1 level, ranch style. Or perhaps, find an apartment, I'm frustrated with all of the old home repairs!

Hi @fiesty76 I'm Scott and I spent a large part of my work career in nonprofits. I understand your frustration with so many direct mail solicitations.

Nonprofits that send trinkets, items, or sometimes a dime or nickel showing through the envelope work for those charities. Believe me, they watch those returns very closely to make sure they make them money. Some use outside, for profit companies to do those mailings where the for profit gets some portion of the contributions and the remainder goes to the nonprofit. And yes, far too many nonprofits make part of their money (sometimes significant amounts) by selling or 'renting' their donor and/or mailing lists to other nonprofits and sometimes to for profit companies, such as catalog retailers. Often times the disclaimer printed on the back of the materials will tell if they sell your name or not.

If you write a charity and request to be dropped from their list they should honor that, but those often 'get lost' in the internal systems they have. Also many will still keep you on a 'one ask a year' list! Always cheaper to keep a former donor than find a new one -- even if you were only a donor to the organization they bought your name from. I find if I send a letter to them asking for them to stop soliciting me they seem to honor those more than a phone call. Also, even though it is a waste of money, they will keep sending to you until a certain amount of time passes and you do not ever give. This timeframe varies by each charity.

I always tell family -- drop the guilt -- use the item they send like return address labels (I use them on bills), have note pads out the gazzoo I use for doodling, and the rest get recycled. It is their choice and they wouldn't do it if it didn't earn them money.

I hope the sun is shining in your neck of the woods today!

Due to a recent life changing episode in our family, we are learning that the terms like wheelchair accessible, handicapped accessible, and ADA are all interpreted differently. Before you make any decision I urge you to look into the state and local requirements.
Beware of apartments or rentals that were built before the ADA was implemented because the doorways are too narrow for wheelchairs.

Oh, @colleenyoung, What you wrote that "It is just stuff with memories" is sooo true and could be a mantra for those of us who find parting with "emotional memory stuff" particularly challenging!

After both of my parents died, it was incredibly difficult for me to sell my "forever childhood home". While we'd disposed of some things during the last years of my mom's life, the thought of "giving up" the home they'd lived in since my birth was a very difficult decision to reach and took me a few months to do. Your suggestion of taking photos of those items of most important memories is one I heartily endorse.

Pictures I took as my daughter and I continued to clear my parents' home found their way into a specific album and they triggered written stories of escapades my lifelong childhood neighbor friend and I had great fun doing over the years. From the backyard treehouse to "guiding the family car down the sloping drive into a neighbor's window air conditioner as my older friend was 'teaching' me how to drive, to perching on the garage roof to "spy" on a neighbor who we'd determined was peddling nat'l security secrets to Russia and the floor to ceiling bookcase over my bed which allowed me to leave the light on longer because I was "reading", photos can capture memories in an evocative way.

My dad and I were fast buddies and one of the things I most regretted after his death was that I had no recording of his voice. As a result, I made several recordings with my mom recounting family history and her childhood. These were done using a tape recorder which I've kept. Now their are visual and other media options available.