How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

John, Volunteer Mentor | @johnbishop | Nov 5, 2020

In reply to @hopeful33250 "Great information, @johnbishop, I decided to subscribe to this site. Thanks for posting this." + (show)

Thanks Teresa! They also had a link that was good even if the first tip is not in my budget 😊 and I'm staying in my home as long as the my primary caregiver allows it.

3 things you can do to prevent falls - https://www.mcmasteroptimalaging.org/hitting-the-headlines/detail/hitting-the-headlines/2020/11/03/3-things-you-can-do-to-prevent-falls

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Nov 5, 2020

In reply to @johnbishop "Thanks Teresa! They also had a link that was good even if the first tip is..." + (show)

@johnbishop Thanks to you mentioning this site before, I subscribed a while ago. They have some great thoughts.
Ginger

marjou | @marjou | Nov 7, 2020

This is a subject that certainly is a challenge to come to terms with. At first I thought of my 89 yr old mom, but honestly need to also think of me as I get older and eye issues become more of a problem. I live in a rural area in the mountains so Uber , Lyft, and taxi cabs are not an option here.

marjou | @marjou | Nov 7, 2020

In reply to @starchy "This is such an interesting topic. I know it's a huge issue for some families who..." + (show)

@starchy Yes, you made some good points. I too feel that making the choice/decision not to drive for safety would be most helpful.

marjou | @marjou | Nov 7, 2020

In reply to @barbb "@IndianaScott, This is kind of funny - the way I misunderstood what you were saying. I..." + (show)

@barbb I thought the same thing😱

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Nov 7, 2020

In reply to @marjou "This is a subject that certainly is a challenge to come to terms with. At first..." + (show)

@marjou This is the time, then, to start enlisting friends and neighbors, to create a shared driving environment. While I have been independent for so long, relying only on myself, by necessity I had to enlist new neighbors to "be there" if need be.
Ginger