How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@barbb

Thank you Beatrice for making me aware of something that I was only subliminally aware of - healing more slowly. Although I had heard about that....of course it didn't apply to me! 🙂 But hearing that from a peer makes it register! It is helpful to be crystal clear about that! I had a fall on April ! which resulted in a fractured wrist/arm. And since then, I try never to take my eyes off of the terrain I am walking on. I guess the fall was like a "shake awake" to the realities of my "elderliness"! - at age 81

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I had a fall a few years ago, also because I was looking around at the scenery, instead of the sidewalk which had a rise. Down I went. Fortunately nothing broken but lots of blood from a cut. Now I look down when I walk. A small price to pay for safety.

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@beatricefay

I had a fall a few years ago, also because I was looking around at the scenery, instead of the sidewalk which had a rise. Down I went. Fortunately nothing broken but lots of blood from a cut. Now I look down when I walk. A small price to pay for safety.

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Hi Beatrice, yes, looking at the scenery seems potentially dangerous. I did go back to the scene of my crime and saw that the step down was very difficult to see from the angle I was at! I'm still trying to train myself to remember I don't have to bend my head down to see what I'm walking on, just turn the eyes down! Not easy for me to learn!

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@beatricefay no I always watch where I,m walking I have weak ankles always have so just got use to watching I,ve had twisted ankles when stepping in a hole

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@barbb

Hi Beatrice, yes, looking at the scenery seems potentially dangerous. I did go back to the scene of my crime and saw that the step down was very difficult to see from the angle I was at! I'm still trying to train myself to remember I don't have to bend my head down to see what I'm walking on, just turn the eyes down! Not easy for me to learn!

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Hi Barb, I was actually looking at Christmas decorations when I fell. Now as I walk I look at gardens. As I'm walking about my neighborhood every day, not much new to take my attention so I can look ahead and keep my head up. Fortunately the sidewalks are in good condition.

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@beatricefay

Hi Barb, I was actually looking at Christmas decorations when I fell. Now as I walk I look at gardens. As I'm walking about my neighborhood every day, not much new to take my attention so I can look ahead and keep my head up. Fortunately the sidewalks are in good condition.

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@beatricefay Glad to hear the sidewalks are even . Take care

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@lioness

@beatricefay no I always watch where I,m walking I have weak ankles always have so just got use to watching I,ve had twisted ankles when stepping in a hole

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You just reminded me that I have those kind of ankles too! 🙂 I used to get into trouble all the time with a little twist of the ankle but now that I make a point of wearing very solid shoes (no high heels) I no longer experience that problem. But since my fall I've been given exercises to strengthen my ankles.

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@barbb I also do ankle ex exercises they do help lets make a pack not to fall anymore lol

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@lioness

@barbb I also do ankle ex exercises they do help lets make a pack not to fall anymore lol

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Pact it is! After my last fall in April when my arm was fractured, I was so shook by it that I thought it might be time for a walker. I am glad that I now can get about much better than I could for a few weeks after the fall. But as we talk about this. my thoughts turn to a walker as the most solid insurance against a fall! But their only thoughts now!

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@barbb Im glad I made the decision to get a walker I can only walk so far and my legs start to buckle . With a walker I feel more secure and if I think I'll fall I have the walker to lift me up . I would' be without one now . My security blanket

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Goodmorning, to all my new friends, Well, I got all my grass cut yesterday, a job that usually take 2 hours ended up taking me 6, my g grandson now 12 years old, needed to be fed so about the halfway mark I came inside and fixed dinner, I had him keep an eye on the meatloaf in the oven and told him to come get me when the clock said 5:50, do you know they don't teach kids to tell time using a traditional clock, only digital ones? anyway, i went back out to mow some more, he came and got me and I finished dinner and back out I went to finish up. I always feel better after my grass is cut. My back hurt so I needed to use my cane to get around but this morning I feel much better. I am hoping I can do some more painting on my porch today. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in one day, I need another day between Sat. and Sun. lol. I talked to my daughter yesterday, it seems she may have CHF, she going in for more testing and will be having a stress test on July 1. She lives in Ohio and I live in NC. I am not comfortable with this upcoming test and am seriously considering making the trip up there so I can be there when it's done. She's 54 and her health is not that good right now and i just feel like maybe it would be good idea. Someone mentioned bruising easily. I noticed as I have gotten a little older my skin has gotten thinner. The other day I noticed blood on my sliding door curtain, I couldn't imagine where it had come from as I was trying to clean it off I then noticed dried blood on the wall, what the heck was going on? then I saw some semi dried blood on my arm, aha, not only did I have a bruise but I also had a small open area or skin tear and was bleeding everywhere. I have no idea what I did to my arm to cause such a injury, it didn't hurt so i don't even know when I did it, much less how. Boy us older folks sure do need to be careful, don't we? Can't do this , can't do that, got to watch every step, be careful, slow down. Ya know I am kinda tired of this aging stuff, think I'll go back to being, oh lets say, 40ish. Anyone want to go with me? I am making my g grandson (8 years old) in Ohio a dream catcher, he had a little one hanging in his room and it finally just wore out so I am making is another one. A bigger and better one than he had. He's going to love it. Well, Ladies and gents, I need to go do something productive, not sure what but believe me there is plenty to do. I'll catch ya'll later. God Bless... Jeanie

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