How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

fiesty76 | @fiesty76 | Apr 13, 2020

In reply to @danab "@fiesty76 well put I love that saying can I borrow it? My Mind and Body don't..." + (show)

Of course, @dana. We are all about sharing in this cyber family! I'd be honored.

Parus | @parus | Apr 14, 2020

After reading comments of others I realize I have really been slacking when it comes to exercise. Motivation has dwindled. I had started walking again and now the temps are back in the 30's. Currently not using it and rapidly losing it. Needing a kick in the arse.

virgo1952 | @virgo1952 | Apr 15, 2020

In reply to @parus "After reading comments of others I realize I have really been slacking when it comes to..." + (show)

KICK!!! Get going 🤣🤣❤️

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Apr 20, 2020

In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hi All: I've been reading all of your posts about exercising. However, I feel a bit..." + (show)

@hopeful33250- Good morning. Yes, I have used them and they are quite the workout! Start by walking slower thatn you normaly do. Have you decided to get a pair?

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Apr 20, 2020

In reply to @IndianaScott "Thanks @barbb Here she is today. She's a handful at times, but all in all a..." + (show)

Oh, do I love labs of any color. My younger sister has owned 4 of them and they have been great. One was a bit dumb but loveable! lol

nene22 | @nene22 | Apr 25, 2020

Let's face it-Life is Change. Very few of us are the same person we were 20 years ago. If we were we would be very boring people. If you can't do what you used to do, find something else you enjoy but keep your mind engaged. I really think that is the key.

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Apr 25, 2020

In reply to @nene22 "Let's face it-Life is Change. Very few of us are the same person we were 20..." + (show)

@nene22- Oh, if only it were that simple! I do not believe that we are in a time that we can just simply age and accept our changes. With the new virus, change isn't nor will it be the same. We have no idea what life is going to be. We don't know if we will be fighting for resources or have to continue to stay inside beyond the end of this year.
Sure, we can look back and see that our jowls have another fold, or my roots need coloring. I don't know if we are looking at how to accept changes, more like how can we be ready when we don't know what's going to hit us?

Parus | @parus | May 3, 2020

I truly do not mind being in the older category until it starts to feel as though as an older person I along with many other older folks are a liability during this covid19 and if it were not for so many of us the country could open back up. Gee, suddenly finding myself feeling guilty for being old. I was accepting this "older" thing now I am reevaluating.

beatricefay | @beatricefay | May 3, 2020

In reply to @parus "I truly do not mind being in the older category until it starts to feel as..." + (show)

Unfortunately many young people are also getting sick and dying. We are all in this together. No group should be thought of as a liability. We all matter and no one has the right or good sense to suggest otherwise.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | May 4, 2020

In reply to @parus "I truly do not mind being in the older category until it starts to feel as..." + (show)

Hi @parus, I don't think us "older folks" are preventing the country from opening up again. The movement restrictions are in place to prevent the pandemic from spreading to everyone. Us, the senior citizens, are probably the best of the community because, as a general rule, we tend to follow the rules and take care of ourselves and look out for others.

Take care of yourself and be safe, @parus, we need you.