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A New Kind of Grief in These Times
Post-COVID Recovery & COVID-19 | Last Active: Apr 15, 2020 | Replies (58)Comment receiving replies
@gingerw, I wonder at times if anything will ever be the same again. Being quiet and doing things on my own never bothered me before. But times have changed. Almost everything that I try to do involves an extreme level of effort and expertise.
As I write this, my oldest daughter is in an LTAC facility, following her six week stay in the hospital. My husband has been hospitalized since March 9th. Hopefully he will be released sometime next week.
When I shop for necessities, I wear a mask. I use hand sanitizer. Any packages I buy are "in quarantine" for 24 hours. I disinfect my shoes after a supply run. I wash my clothes and take a shower after going outside to a store.
When I speak with my family I have a pass code that I have to give the nurse before they can talk to me. My husband is being treated for depression, following his three surgeries. He has been through so much.
The anxiety that I feel from having to learn all these new protocols has left my head spinning. I pay my daughter's bills. And there is a certain protocol for that as well. So often you cannot speak with a real person. You never know if a business is open or not. So you have to call ahead and hope someone answers.
All this seems trivial to some, I am sure. But it is so much pressure on me, as I am rhe only one who can do any of these things. I dont like going out to take care of business, because I fear bringing back a virus. I want my home to be safe for my Grandson.
These are my fears. Mostly, though, I am ok. Oh, did I fail to mention that I cannot vist my loved ones? Nope. No visitors allowed.
Holding the fort,
Mamacita Jane
Replies to "@gingerw, I wonder at times if anything will ever be the same again. Being quiet and..."
Cyber hugs @mamacita my friend. Hoping you are able to get some rest and relief for yourself.
@mamacita It is not trivial by any means. Your current stressors have got to be temporary, I pray for that. I know there must be several of us who would step up to help if there was a cry to "come", from you. Sending you a gentle hug, and cuppa tea for comfort,
Ginger
@mamacita, I am exhausted just reading this and I did that 3 times to make sure I understood. You have to jump through hoops every day.
I have just one tried and true piece of advice. Take time for yourself.....even 15 minutes. Be self-compassionate. Wrap your arms around yourself and say "I am here for you". Show yourself to the door of positivity.
You have opened your big heart and allowed so much to rush in.........save some room for yourself or you won't be much good to anyone else.
Be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
Chris
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My dear @mamacita, I am so sorry to hear of the burdens you are carrying. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. While we all feel like fish-out-of-water right now, but having two family members hospitalized and being unable to visit makes it heartbreaking for you. Take care of yourself, my friend, and realize you are cared for by us and we feel your pain right now.