1. < Bladder Cancer

Incontinence, Bladder Cancer and 95 Year Old Dad - HELP

Posted by BlueSplashGirl/ Carolyn @bluesplashgirl, Mar 30, 2020

My poor pop is struggling with all the complications of his cancer. No treatment because of advanced age and his wishes. He is still at home and we all take care of him. We finally got his catheter under control and now he is having uncontrollable diarrhea. Waiting for doctor advice but in the meantime, any suggestions on how to help would be greatful. Just an FYI - We have managed the diet portion to help control it but it is the containment part we need help with. Thank you in advance for any help you can suggest. Carolyn

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suemer | @suemer | Apr 2, 2020
In reply to @bluesplashgirl "Hello Becky, we have done all that you suggest. The thing is my feisty dad will..." + (show)
@bluesplashgirl

Hello Becky, we have done all that you suggest. The thing is my feisty dad will get up at night when he feels it coming on and he has the accident on the way to the toilet. I am looking into plastic pants for over his depends. Also, we will get him some ointment like A&D and do what you suggest. Thank you for your care and concern and hugs! Carolyn

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I have a disabled son and we had to do a bowel cleanse on him. We went to Home Depot and purchased a roll of that plastic sheeting that they put down in homes that are for sale. It sticks to your carpet or floor but does no harm. Ours was the width of a hallway. At least it may be more easy to clean up. Otherwise, will he use a portapotty like they have at the hospital which could be located by his bed?

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BlueSplashGirl/ Carolyn | @bluesplashgirl | Apr 3, 2020

Thanks for your reply. My dad has just moved on to hospice and can no longer get out of bed. We will keep him with is so he can die at home with his family. We now just routinely clean up after every bm. Thanks to everyone for your care and advice.

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1 reply
Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Apr 3, 2020
In reply to @bluesplashgirl "Thanks for your reply. My dad has just moved on to hospice and can no longer..." + (show)
@bluesplashgirl

Thanks for your reply. My dad has just moved on to hospice and can no longer get out of bed. We will keep him with is so he can die at home with his family. We now just routinely clean up after every bm. Thanks to everyone for your care and advice.

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@bluesplashgirl I am so sorry to hear that your dad has moved to hospice. I know it is difficult for you but they will offer support and make sure that your dad is comfortable. When you refer to ‘we’ , is that your mother? I certainly hope that all of you will take care of yourselves and each other at this difficult time. I’m sending a cyber hug to you

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BlueSplashGirl/ Carolyn | @bluesplashgirl | Apr 3, 2020

We includes brother, sisters, nieces, nephews, step mother, all of us. He is being well loved and cared for as he leaves us. Thank you for the hug and love.

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jimmy2248 | @jimmy2248 | Apr 4, 2020

@bluesplashgirl . I too am sorry. Prayers for you and yours.

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Barb | @amberpep | Apr 4, 2020

One of my neighbors works for Home Instead. The family of the disabled elder person calls Home Instead, and after a meeting, they decide who would work best with the person. She does all of those things .... feeds him, cleans up his bowel messes and bladder messes (which are daily), gives him or her a bath, plays games with him, reads to him, puts him to bed at night, and everything a family member would do, but it allows them some free time to be away. Sometimes she is with a patient for full days, sometimes only 4-5 hours. She's got several families she does this for. I don't know how much these places charge, but it might be worth looking into. I've also seen ads for Visiting Angels, which is much like Home Instead.
abby

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1 reply
BlueSplashGirl/ Carolyn | @bluesplashgirl | Apr 5, 2020
In reply to @amberpep "One of my neighbors works for Home Instead. The family of the disabled elder person calls..." + (show)
@amberpep

One of my neighbors works for Home Instead. The family of the disabled elder person calls Home Instead, and after a meeting, they decide who would work best with the person. She does all of those things .... feeds him, cleans up his bowel messes and bladder messes (which are daily), gives him or her a bath, plays games with him, reads to him, puts him to bed at night, and everything a family member would do, but it allows them some free time to be away. Sometimes she is with a patient for full days, sometimes only 4-5 hours. She's got several families she does this for. I don't know how much these places charge, but it might be worth looking into. I've also seen ads for Visiting Angels, which is much like Home Instead.
abby

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Thank you to everyone. My beautiful father passed away quietly in his own home and in his own bed early this Palm Sunday. Thank you for your comments and suggestions. XOX, Carolyn
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2 replies
Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Apr 5, 2020
In reply to @bluesplashgirl "Thank you to everyone. My beautiful father passed away quietly in his own home and in..." + (show)
@bluesplashgirl

Thank you to everyone. My beautiful father passed away quietly in his own home and in his own bed early this Palm Sunday. Thank you for your comments and suggestions. XOX, Carolyn

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@bluesplashgirl. I am so sorry for all of you. But, I will say, that your father knew he was loved to the end. Cyber hug to your family. Becky

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Apr 5, 2020
In reply to @bluesplashgirl "Thank you to everyone. My beautiful father passed away quietly in his own home and in..." + (show)
@bluesplashgirl

Thank you to everyone. My beautiful father passed away quietly in his own home and in his own bed early this Palm Sunday. Thank you for your comments and suggestions. XOX, Carolyn

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@bluesplashgirl Carolyn, it's not easy losing a parent. While you were the caregiver, you are also the child. Cherish the loving memories and be kind to yourself as you and your family navigate the next days during these unprecedented times.

If and when you wish to talk, please join members who get it in the Loss & Grief group: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/

Sending you a virtual shoulder to lean on in the meantime.

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