How You Experience Autism

@sirgalahad - just curious, and wanting you to feel at home. How do you feel you need to mask to fit in the group here just for auties and those who care about them?

@auntieoakley - will you share more about that, too?

ok, there has been issues with the able body people whom run the clinic connect who are very unfamiliar with Auties, in particular, our variants on the spectrum , comorbidities and we are all not the same . Our executive function levels vary , our planning and timing and how our brains operate in a different way and our perceptions . We are different and we do react and respond to what we see in front of us and how we are spoken and talked too.for example i am an autie at the hiher end of functionality but still have melt downs and miss voice intonations and facial cues and langauge and how i rread things .Some see we auties are all the same and dont see empaths kindness humour variants in sexual idosynscriacies .i felt i had to hide my inteligence and humour and i am quite direct and blunt .i am also a teacher and a biomedical scientist childrens oncology at westmead childrens hospital .My medical skills have recently helped mamacitta keep a very dear couple of friends of hers alive .i feel i cant discuss my knowledge and training in regards the biomedical and genetics responsible for autism incase i scare people

sorries I maybe shouldn't have written this I am just coming thru a major meltdown over the weekend from my back injury and able staff I work with and ongoing workp[lace patronisation and denigration

sorries if iit has come across a little blunt

No worries, @sirgalahad - I asked. What can the Connect moderation team or anyone involved in discussions in the Connect Autism group do to help you feel more comfortable and less like you need to mask at all? @mamacita @gingerw @auntieoakley - any thoughts?

I agree with @lisalucier, Lisa, no worries. Your thoughts were very helpful, @sirgalahad. I hope others will add their thoughts as well. Thank you.

@lisalucier I am always amazed at the timeliness of many of the messages here on the Mayo Connect site. Like @sirgalahad I am currently working through issues with some people in my life and their non-understanding/non-acceptance of me as a person with autism who has high functioning abilities and lots of knowledge. I have always extended a basic respect to everybody; someone can increase that respect by their actions towards me. But I am finding that to be understood by many neurotypical people, I have to play down my knowledge base. Or not be true to myself in my responses and reactions, which are very sensitive to others' everyday conversations. The sensitive way that I respond to statements or actions are downplayed by many, which can have an isolating and/or frustrating effect, and I shut down further. I hold these slights to me very close and for a very long time. Like @mamacita and others have described, we see/feel/process differently, for example what someone says goes to our heart, and we respond accordingly, then we hear "just kidding/don't take it so literally/lighten up". But that is not how we are wired. I can only speak for myself in this and perhaps it is a habit of neurodiverse, but I allow others to live their authentic self, accepting them for who they truly are, and I would like to be given that same opportunity. That seems why a fellow neurodiverse person is someone we can often pick out of a crowd, we "see" that fragility we live with everyday.
I don't know if this rambling resonates, or makes sense. It is what flowed out of my mind this morning.
Ginger

@lisalucier, I think my closest friends have "gotten the memo" that I am very sensitive to criticism. Even when it is nothing really serious, I will absolutely get heartbroken if I feel I have failed to do my responsibilities. The area of social engagement and appropriate behavior around Neurotypicals is one where I still have much to learn.

I read constantly, attend Bible studies online and in real time, and study many subjects without setting foot in a class. My passion is learning and I will dig for it every single day. Pretty much nothing is boring to me. And that last sentence is what gets me in trouble.

Because I am fascinated by everything I will, in conversation, frequently think that my audience is fascinated as well.

But you live and learn, right?
And most of the time folks understand and give me grace.

Can I spot another Aspie? Quite frequently, yes. When I see them with their pattern recognition antenna up, my little Aspie heart rejoices. My tribe!!!

They sometimes have that restless leg jumping up and down while waiting for their order to arrive in a cafe. Sometimes they have a certain look in their eyes that lets me know they have mastered Neurotypical eye contact. But are not too comfortable using it.

I tell our kiddos at church to be themselves. I hope it resonates.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

@gingerw You use the word "fragility" which I find very helpful in understanding some of the other statements that have been provided by the autism group.

The fact that you have to "play down my knowledge base" sounds very frustrating. When does that come up most often for you? When you are trying to explain something or in personal relationships?

@hopeful33250 Teresa, the downplaying of knowledge can come up at any time. You're right, it can be frustrating, and a few times someone told me "you're showing off", although I am not. I cannot pin down one experience more than others. Like @mamacita and @auntieoakley, it seems I am constantly researching/learning. Sometimes people have challenged me how I know something, but that often is hard to answer, the where or why I learned it.
Ginger