1. < Depression & Anxiety

On a Road to Catastrophe?

Posted by Guener @guener, Nov 2, 2019

How often have you felt that the road ahead of you was leading to nothing but disaster? I have fought with these feelings all my life, for a variety of reasons, and it can be paralyzing anxiety or intensely increased suicidal ideation that comes to pass for me. I distort reality when I am not working on my own mental issues just as actively. Consider the example that you have lost a job, as I have in the past. You are afraid about how you are going to pay your bills, how you are going to put food on your table. But in your mind this leads you to lack of shelter, to destitution, to homelessness. You are NEVER going to be able to avoid it, that's what's going to happen to you. Unfortunately, this does happen to people, to those with and to those without mental illness, but that's another topic. What did I do? I put myself in a homeless shelter for months, and that was both awful and a learning experience. I took myself to an illogical conclusion and acted upon it, when I didn't have to do so. We can imagine ourselves into a corner if we are not aware of how we are thinking.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Nov 6, 2019
In reply to @hopeful33250 "I worked in a law office for a number of years, @gingerw, and people often don't..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

I worked in a law office for a number of years, @gingerw, and people often don't prepare their wills or patient advocates unless they are facing major surgery. I remember going to the hospital with the attorney I worked with and we would be having people signing their documents before being wheeled into the operating room. End of life issues are very difficult for folks to face.

Jump to this post

@hopeful33250 You're right, end-of-life issues are a difficult subject to bring up and execute. In March 2015 when I was diagnosed with a rare kidney disorder, I prearranged all my final papers and wishes. It has been tweaked as needed, and once again needs to be updated with the move to a new state.
Ginger

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Nov 6, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@hopeful33250 You're right, end-of-life issues are a difficult subject to bring up and execute. In March..." + (show)
@gingerw

@hopeful33250 You're right, end-of-life issues are a difficult subject to bring up and execute. In March 2015 when I was diagnosed with a rare kidney disorder, I prearranged all my final papers and wishes. It has been tweaked as needed, and once again needs to be updated with the move to a new state.
Ginger

Jump to this post

You are right about that, @gingerw. The patient advocate form (or advanced directive as some call it) is the document that varies from state to state. Many of the other estate planning documents hold up even when you move, but it is a good idea to check with an attorney in the state where you settle.

REPLY
1 reply
Guener | @guener | Nov 6, 2019

Because I wish to have my final care executed in a particular way, I have an advance health care directive on file with my lawyer as well as taken with me every time I go under complete anesthesia. I also wear a necklace that has a number to call about my DNR orders. It's not so much a matter of worry that I will die but that I am covered, my family is covered, when executing my wishes.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Nov 6, 2019
In reply to @guener "Because I wish to have my final care executed in a particular way, I have an..." + (show)
@guener

Because I wish to have my final care executed in a particular way, I have an advance health care directive on file with my lawyer as well as taken with me every time I go under complete anesthesia. I also wear a necklace that has a number to call about my DNR orders. It's not so much a matter of worry that I will die but that I am covered, my family is covered, when executing my wishes.

Jump to this post

Lots of wisdom in your planning, @guener.

REPLY
lioness | @lioness | Nov 6, 2019
In reply to @hopeful33250 "You are right about that, @gingerw. The patient advocate form (or advanced directive as some call..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

You are right about that, @gingerw. The patient advocate form (or advanced directive as some call it) is the document that varies from state to state. Many of the other estate planning documents hold up even when you move, but it is a good idea to check with an attorney in the state where you settle.

Jump to this post

@gingerw When I moved from Pa thats where I had my POA done so UPS here gave me a Ca..document that I signed making it legel in Ca

REPLY
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Nov 7, 2019
In reply to @guener "I think that my anxiety issues are bound to two factors: I wasn't in a loving,..." + (show)
@guener

I think that my anxiety issues are bound to two factors: I wasn't in a loving, nurturing environment while growing up and felt uncertain of everything to the point of self-generating fear; and, I am a perfectionist that gathers my self-esteem largely from the approval of others. From the first part I have a distrust of my circumstances and that others will be there to help me when I am in a place of uncertainty, while from the second I have an unhealthy and impossible imposed structure on myself that I alone can create worth through achievement where my standards are so high. I have begun to trust others' intentions on being there for me now, with some difficulty, while it is harder to change my expectations of myself and to find my own self-worth. When I believe that I am unsafe or that incapable of meeting high goals, I run to my place of a terrible outcome that is irrational but feels real to me.

Jump to this post

@guener- Good morning. I have also felt that things need to be perfect in some areas. I think that my mother imposed this on us (2 sisters and myself) because of her standards. Nevertheless I have been very hard on myself as an adult, at least. I do not remember what brought me to being rid of using other's approval for myself esteem. But I am a much better person for it, a better giver and frind, more compassionate too.
What do you think will happen if you loosen up your standards? What do you get of these high standards?

REPLY
1 reply
Guener | @guener | Nov 7, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@guener- Good morning. I have also felt that things need to be perfect in some areas...." + (show)
@merpreb

@guener- Good morning. I have also felt that things need to be perfect in some areas. I think that my mother imposed this on us (2 sisters and myself) because of her standards. Nevertheless I have been very hard on myself as an adult, at least. I do not remember what brought me to being rid of using other's approval for myself esteem. But I am a much better person for it, a better giver and frind, more compassionate too.
What do you think will happen if you loosen up your standards? What do you get of these high standards?

Jump to this post

@merpreb , I have relaxed my expectations of myself, while always trying to do my best, though sometimes I catch myself feeling really down over perceived "failure". This has been a very healthy development for me, and it's only been in the last few years that it has come to pass in my reactions to tasks. I think that I learned this perfectionism as a result of finding that while I could do well in school I could garner praise from teachers and from my parents (if the scorn of most of my peers). I pushed myself in this way to bolster my self-esteem of a few people, and that kept me going through decades of depressive states and low self-esteem.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.