Hello @lah,

I am so happy that you’ve joined Connect! Let me explain...
The plain truth is that in assuming the responsibility of caring for another person, life will be “mostly about you.” It may sound selfish, but YOU are dealing with the reality of leaving behind a life you had, and trying to cope (admirably) with your present situation.
You’ve put your life on hold to care for someone you love – now, you just need to emotionally/mentally adjust to the fact that you are facing some difficult feelings (like resentment, guilt). But you don’t have to do it alone.
And that is why I’m so glad that you’ve reached out to this community – it always helps to connect with someone who understands.

I’d like you to meet @dem2301 @vickys @IndianaScott @harriethodgson1 @rmftucker @susan2018 @jodeej – and so many other members, who’ve shared their experiences and insights as caregivers to loved ones. Here are some discussions, in the Caregiver’s group, that you might find useful:
– Weary of Caregiving https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/weary/
– Long-term caregiving: need a place to vent https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/just-learned-about-this-group/
– Lessons I Learned From Caregiving https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lessons-i-learned-from-caregiving/
– Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/frustrated-and-exhausted/
– Handling Ups and Downs in Marriage and other relationships https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/handling-ups-and-downs-in-marriage-and-other-relationships/

I’m also tagging @travelgirl @soul @lynne @brenz @komalkochar @sc1218 and @tressa @suemer @nannytart, who are living with colorectal/colon cancer or caring for someone living with this cancer.

@lah, I really do believe that taking care of oneself is often a group effort – have you considered any professional therapy or counseling? Together with your husband, or otherwise?