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Caregivers | Last Active: Oct 22, 2019 | Replies (53)

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@IndianaScott

Sorry to read you had another tough night. They are tough enough without added difficulties.

When our nerves are frayed, our bodies aching, and our reserves on zero, it is often impossible to keep a clear head. I know there were occassions I lashed out at something, which made my wife sad, and I regret it to this day. All we can do is apologize and try and teach our tongue better manners šŸ™‚ Doen't always work though. Unfortunately I know!

The vast majority of our friends, many of well over 40 years, all took a powder when my wife got her diagnosis. Husbands and wives both. I chalk it up to them perhaps being too uncomfortable to manage a relationship with a 'changed' person. Perhaps it is that they cannot confront the thought, even second hand, of their own mortality. Maybe it is simply fear. I do know my wife's long time friend confided in me she 'couldn't be with someone 'crazy'.

A friend of my daughter's told her 'you will shocked by those who abandon you in your time of need, and you will be equally shocked by who it is that sticks by your side.' It was very true. In our case my wife's best freind from school days reappeared and with me it was an ex-colleague from many states away. One thing I learned...small things make a HUGE difference during illnesses!

I like your idea of the texts alot! Nice touch!

I hope the sun is shining wherever you are today!

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Replies to "Sorry to read you had another tough night. They are tough enough without added difficulties. When..."

HI SCOTT, SINCE I'M NEW AT THIS I CAN'T TELL WHOS REALLY EMAILING ME IT DOESN'T SAY. WHO IT'S TO?? HAVE SOO MANY EMAILING FOR OTHER REASONS LIKE MEDICATION, WITHDRAWALS ETC. I LIKE YOUR DAUGHTERS RESPONSE. YOUR ARE VERY KIND. MY HUSBAND WENT TO SEE HIS SON FOR FATHERS DAY. HE LEFT AT 10 AM NOW 7:50PM NO CALL,TEXT THANK GOD I HAVE MY 4, 4 LEGGED CHILDREN. 2 CATS 2 DOGS. LIVE IN THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF THE DOGS NOT AFRAID TO BE ALONE WHEN IT GETS DARK. VERY PROTECTIVE OF ME. SPOUSE A DIFFERENT STORY. HOW IS YOUR DAUGHTER? I NEVER WEAR MY HEAT ON MY SLEEVE. I TRY NOT ANY SHOW PAIN OR TALK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE DON'T CARE ANYWAY. BUT MY HUSBAND KNOWS BECAUSE IS HARD TO SIT, SIT STILL, STAND STILL. I ROCK A LITTLE BACK AND FORTH TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF THE PAIN. YOU ARE A VERY KIND PERSON AND SEEM TO LOOK FOR THE BEST IN PEOPLE I CAN'T ANYMORE. HAVEA GOOD EVENING SCOTT!! THANK YOU

Scott,

Iā€™m in my 4th year of ft caregiving but new to this group, I keep a ā€œnoteā€ on my ipadā€™s notes app of supportive/helpful things I read so I can go back and read them when times are especially tough. I have already saved three quotes from your postings (two from this one post!). Thank you for what you do, and share.