1. < Depression & Anxiety

Importance of focusing on Positive with Depression & Anxiety.

Posted by BoneHead @stsopoci, May 27, 2019

In my journey with the millions of humans who are brave enough to go down the path of recovery without alcohol, bad drug and more drugs, I have gradually more and more discovered how important it is to crawl out of my deep hole, bad attitude, self-importance, feeling sorry for myself, angry, sad, etc, etc, condition and more toward the LIGHT!!! That means changing and moving for me away from some friends that are very negative about everything. That means walking around the block when I get upset so I can calm down and see the light. That means taking care of myself, exercising, eating right and meeting new friends and keeping old friends that are well-balanced. Positivity in life is available to everyone and it's FREE. I have gone on a path throughout my early days of self-medicating with lots of alcohol, drug, etc. I cleaned myself up in 1996, OCT 13th but I still did not feel right until I could ask for help from a professional. Found out I was GAD (inherited from my MOM) and a few other close seconds. I went on medication for years on various meds until I found the chemical that keeps me pretty normal. BUT, BUT...something else was missing because I still suffered through the negativity of every situation that I could create in a moments time.

I love these groups because you are honest with yourself which is very important.
Finding good friends that understand you and the importance of staying positive with your journey through life.
Taking good care of yourself.
We all are unique so what works for me does not always work for you. I'm on 20mg of Lexipro.
What do other people do to stay positive?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Guener | @guener | Nov 4, 2019
In reply to @shermananski "My father was a highly functioning alcoholic and no doubt deeply depressed and anxious. He was..." + (show)
@shermananski

My father was a highly functioning alcoholic and no doubt deeply depressed and anxious. He was very intelligent, honest and trustworthy, and admired by many people. But he was not fun to live with. My first memory of anything was him screaming at me to shut up in my dark bedroom. It was, apparently, traumatizing for me. I thought about it all of the time as a kid. I struggled with anxiety and depression throughout my life. I’ve worked hard at getting past it but it ultimately took me. Once it completely Disabled me. My brother, on the other hand, who is four years older, is very very successful and perpetually happy. I don’t know how we came from the same home. Why was I so traumatized while my brother went on to be Teflon man? was he just old enough to enjoy a happier father when he was very young? Did I arrive at a downward slide in my father’s depression? I don’t know. Is my adult depression a result of childhood trauma at all? I forgave my father a long time ago. I understand Him more and more as I age and struggle. but maybe that’s not enough. What is enough!

Jump to this post

My father was a highly functional alcoholic also, and it impacted all of our lives, as he caused a lot of anxiety around the home that I picked up upon for years, and I was afraid of him in my early years, as he had a temper that could be fostered by the booze. There are plenty of groups around for those who are children of alcoholics, but I have not partaken of them. I have had my own issues with alcohol over the years, and I have focused upon myself and overcoming that vs. trying to figure out what it was that got me to my place. I have forgiven my parents for the inputs that they were responsible for in contributing to my own pain, and I'm happy that I have been able to do so. For me, going back to the past hasn't been a strong interest in my relationships or to address my own mental health, but that does not mean that it is not important to other people to understand and to move onward.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Nov 4, 2019
In reply to @shermananski "My father was a highly functioning alcoholic and no doubt deeply depressed and anxious. He was..." + (show)
@shermananski

My father was a highly functioning alcoholic and no doubt deeply depressed and anxious. He was very intelligent, honest and trustworthy, and admired by many people. But he was not fun to live with. My first memory of anything was him screaming at me to shut up in my dark bedroom. It was, apparently, traumatizing for me. I thought about it all of the time as a kid. I struggled with anxiety and depression throughout my life. I’ve worked hard at getting past it but it ultimately took me. Once it completely Disabled me. My brother, on the other hand, who is four years older, is very very successful and perpetually happy. I don’t know how we came from the same home. Why was I so traumatized while my brother went on to be Teflon man? was he just old enough to enjoy a happier father when he was very young? Did I arrive at a downward slide in my father’s depression? I don’t know. Is my adult depression a result of childhood trauma at all? I forgave my father a long time ago. I understand Him more and more as I age and struggle. but maybe that’s not enough. What is enough!

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@shermananski We cannot figure out why the same family has members react so differently to stimulus. It's not our job; we do have our job to work on keeping ourselves as healthy as we can. Like you, my siblings and I had the same dysfunctional upbringing but have had a big variety in how we handled it. Unlike you, I never forgave my mother; kudos to you. What is enough is whatever you decide. Sending you wishes for peace in your mind and heart.
Ginger

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Nov 5, 2019
In reply to @shermananski "My father was a highly functioning alcoholic and no doubt deeply depressed and anxious. He was..." + (show)
@shermananski

My father was a highly functioning alcoholic and no doubt deeply depressed and anxious. He was very intelligent, honest and trustworthy, and admired by many people. But he was not fun to live with. My first memory of anything was him screaming at me to shut up in my dark bedroom. It was, apparently, traumatizing for me. I thought about it all of the time as a kid. I struggled with anxiety and depression throughout my life. I’ve worked hard at getting past it but it ultimately took me. Once it completely Disabled me. My brother, on the other hand, who is four years older, is very very successful and perpetually happy. I don’t know how we came from the same home. Why was I so traumatized while my brother went on to be Teflon man? was he just old enough to enjoy a happier father when he was very young? Did I arrive at a downward slide in my father’s depression? I don’t know. Is my adult depression a result of childhood trauma at all? I forgave my father a long time ago. I understand Him more and more as I age and struggle. but maybe that’s not enough. What is enough!

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@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and do something about it. I agree with @helenfrances, seek help.
Living in a house with an addict must have been awful. When you are young there really is literally nothing that you have control of; you can not effect or affect a change. Did your dad drink when your brother was young?
I am ne of three sisters growing up and all of us were very different. Who is to know what we will be like when we are older?

REPLY
2 replies
Sherman | @shermananski | Nov 5, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and..." + (show)
@merpreb

@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and do something about it. I agree with @helenfrances, seek help.
Living in a house with an addict must have been awful. When you are young there really is literally nothing that you have control of; you can not effect or affect a change. Did your dad drink when your brother was young?
I am ne of three sisters growing up and all of us were very different. Who is to know what we will be like when we are older?

Jump to this post

I’m guessing my fathers drinking increased over the years with depression and the stress of a young family and working in a big old industrial plant that was very polluting and dangerous. I’m thinking my brother wasn’t exposed to it when he was a toddler etc. I never asked my mother. I should have. Maybe. I really miss the dad I rarely saw. Maybe I have perpetual heartache. A deep loss. A lost connection. I adored my grandparents. They made me feel so at ease and gave me a deep sense of belonging. Sigh. I need to focus on me and stop ruminating.

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1 reply
Sherman | @shermananski | Nov 5, 2019
In reply to @helenfrances "Seek support from a psycholgist" + (show)
@helenfrances

Seek support from a psycholgist

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Why a psychologist vs a psychiatrist?

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Nov 6, 2019
In reply to @shermananski "I’m guessing my fathers drinking increased over the years with depression and the stress of a..." + (show)
@shermananski

I’m guessing my fathers drinking increased over the years with depression and the stress of a young family and working in a big old industrial plant that was very polluting and dangerous. I’m thinking my brother wasn’t exposed to it when he was a toddler etc. I never asked my mother. I should have. Maybe. I really miss the dad I rarely saw. Maybe I have perpetual heartache. A deep loss. A lost connection. I adored my grandparents. They made me feel so at ease and gave me a deep sense of belonging. Sigh. I need to focus on me and stop ruminating.

Jump to this post

@shermananski- HAve you ever had a heart to heart with your brother? This might help you put some of your demons away.

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1 reply
smilie | @smilie | Nov 6, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and..." + (show)
@merpreb

@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and do something about it. I agree with @helenfrances, seek help.
Living in a house with an addict must have been awful. When you are young there really is literally nothing that you have control of; you can not effect or affect a change. Did your dad drink when your brother was young?
I am ne of three sisters growing up and all of us were very different. Who is to know what we will be like when we are older?

Jump to this post

Hi Merry, I still can’t remember how post, so I’m writing here. I’m so very depressed depressed!!!! Mornings are the worst!!!! I’m lying down in my bed 🛌 trying to go back to sleep or just rest, but I cannot because my mind is too busy!!!! My sister and I don’t want to call her that anymore, Gail and her husband have gone home and I’m really so very glad because I don’t want to hear from either of them again. They’re cruel and abusive and I don’t want that. I can’t handle such behaviour ever!!!! I’m going to try and nap or just rest. I hope that I can!!!!

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Nov 7, 2019

@smilie- Rest is one of the most important things to good mental health. There are nights and days that I also "buzz" and can't relax or slow my mind, so I just go with it until it burns itself out. Can you tell me more about your sister's abuse?

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1 reply
Sherman | @shermananski | Nov 7, 2019

Back on topic, I’ve started using Headspace, a meditation app, focusing on happiness. The current practice involves visualizing kindness as a Light that starts in the chest and then spreads through the body and out into the world and beyond. Wow. My brain just tingles. I’m sure there are free visualization meditations on you tube. Try it a few times!

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