My dad has a mass on bladder and kidney not functioning

I am his daughter my mom did go into room with dad as he got staples pulled and heard him talk to my dad apparently he drew a picture to show them where cancer was on tube they took out with kidney but did not get enough questions answered and yes were taken aback - all he asked was can he go back to work- worried about $ as usual and rightly so for a man. I did talk to my dad and tell him he need to get doc to call him or preferably get an apt just to get written down questions answered- he doesnt even know degree of cancer he has name of cancer and hhe has been sweating a lot more than normal.. he’s wondering why. He trusts his doctor and i said thats fine to trust him but i dont think you have enough information. - get more! Im praying he gets more answers and yes he is overwehlmed... already talking about renting his home and moving to apt... im here trying to get more info to pass along to him and trying to get him to slow down a bit...

Thank you two for responding- i m trying to figure out ways to help- somehow- advising him to get more info! I wish i could talk to the doctor...
But he trusts him like i said And ive mentioned getting a second opinion. If not only to get more info - he is working with the urologist for all of this is that normal?

@formydad He can ask for a copy of the surgery report, and the biopsy results. As a patient, he can ask for a second opinion, and speak with an oncologist for how to proceed. While we would like to think Dr's work as a team for the best patient's care, that is not always how it goes, or appears to us.
Ginger

Yeah i passed on the info you said to my dad he sent me back that he was going to ask this so far

Two questions I have down for the dr. are
1. What stage is the cancer? This addresses how far it has spread.
2. What type is it? This refers to how fast it is growing.

Any more anyone can think of that we may not be?

@formydad Also ask about course of treatment going forward. What are the choices, what would he tell his brother if he was in the same situation? [By personalizing it, you sometimes get a more honest response from the dr.] What does the future hold, going forward, based on typt/stage/treatment? What limitations to be followed? Changes in lifestyle?
Hope this helps,
Ginger

I like the personalization- great questions!- passed them on to my dad- if anything else crosses anyone's mind please pass on!

@formydad Gently stress to your dad how important it is to understand what doctor is saying. To that end, having someone with him who will act as a "second set or ears and eyes" can help immensely. Take notes, don't be afraid to ask for clarification or more information. I have found when we are used to talking about a subject, sometimes we assume the listener understands more than they do, or we use terms familiar to us but not to the listener. An example of that, I am a crafter, and forget a listener doesn't know what I am talking about. I don't "dumb it down", just explain it in layman terms. Hope this helps,
Ginger

Well my dad called the doctor back after writing down some questions doc of course happened to call and woke my dad out of a sleep - so he asked a few questions his bladder cancer is a 2possibly 3 and its high grade- fast growth- he has to go back in to weeks and get his bladder scraped again... after that is supposed to know where to go from there either chemo / or removal? - my dad said he would be getting a second opinion if it came to removal... i feel helpless

Not hopeless I am praying

@formydad Scraping the bladder sounds painful! Your dad has a few more answers than he had, so that is good. Now to research on his own/your own, exactly what you can find out about the type and treatments. May i suggest your dad get a copy of the surgery and biopsy reports, and consider getting s second opinion now. Now need to wait until the next appointment. Knowledge is power, and in this battle, knowledge is ammunition against this mass.
Ginger