@Parus....Oh, my, if the idea that I think you may want pity was conveyed in my words, then I take them all back! I know that is NOT what you were saying. Sometimes I am a blathering idiot, ramming around, and offending people, AND too blind to notice. Nope, I know better. We do not want pity, but a wee bit of help and understanding would go a long way. I don't hold my breath regarding understanding. No matter how I try, at this point, I can not truly understand what cancer patients have to endure.NO you did not strike me as pathetic. Frustrated, tired, scared...not knowing how long you will have to endure. You are in a dark place, and you are in good company. Chronic pain is a dark place. I want to get better at living in the light despite everything. When I don't do well, and yes, I have my days, but when I go dark part of me wants to stay there. But another part of me hates it and wants to live in the light.

Head pain here 24/7. One of many clingons left behind from stroke. In my cerebellar region, but not only there. Head pain creates a veil between us and everyone else. When with kids and grandkids, I really despise its a constant wet blanket on our visit. But to be with them is ever so much better than to not see them. Sometimes even talking is hard, so I just enjoy watching them play and listening to them.

Parus, you are not pathetic. Pathetic is the person who quits even wanting good things. Pathetic is not being able to acknowledge our blessings. Seems I have given offence. If I did, your response was very gracious. Thank you.JMJ