Fibromyalgia: How do you cope?

You’ve gotta find ways to laugh or you’d cry, for sure! I’ve been a serial caregiver in varying capacities, too:

•mom-lymphoma: 2009 (passed away)
•stepdad-Alzheimer’s: 2009-2012 (passed away)
•Brother-alcohol induced dementia: 2010-2012 (primary care provider until his nasty gf convinced him I was the bane of his existence)
•Godmother-Vascular dementia: 2011-2016 (passed away)
•father-in-law-Alzheimer’s: 2011-2014 (passed away)
•son: rapid cycling bipolar: 2013-present
•mother-in-law-Vascular Dementia: 2014-2018 (passed away)
•hubby: Early Onset Alzheimer’s: 2017-present

I suppose there’s a study out there stating that those of us that do too much are ripe for fibro...

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@buckimom....Thank you. You are a very kind lady.

So. Now. Should I share my "dumb as a box of rocks" moments? Believe me, I could share so much, would probably overwhelm the internet. Seriously, I have embarrassed myself, shamed myself and done much more wrong than right. But....correcting wrongs, honestly assessing behaviour, making changes.... all allows us opportunities to grow, thank God. Got plenty to account for, but the beauty of living is our ability to learn and change. So my plan is to plug away, hopefully learn from my mistakes, try not to repeat them, while I help my dad get from this life to the next. And then.... try to suffer what I must gracefully so as to not be any more of a burden to my family than I must. And continue finding the humor in this messed, but wonderful life.The fam loves me, for sure, but as I age, I expect it will be my turn to be a burden. My kids will be good and kind, but this is a fact of life.

I pray I can care for my own needs for many more years. Just want to preserve a minimum of dignity before I get planted. May we all be allowed this grace! Especially those who have invested their lives caring for others. Like many here on this forum. God bless.

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@jmjlove - I’m gonna keep my ‘less than proud moments” to myself for awhile I’m kinda New here 😉

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@janieak....how youve done all you've done blows my mind. Cared for oldest son stuck for 5 months in hospital bed at home, after surgeries to rebuild a leg and heal his broken back. But he had no mental issues. He was grateful and a pleasure to care for. Now my dad, on the other hand.....ugh...never an easy man when young....now with dementia, is another story. He knows he is confused. Knows he SHOULD know where he's at at any given moment. KNOWS he is losing it and it makes him mad as a hornet. His anger seems to come from anxiety and frustration.

Have you had to deal with combativeness? Dad has moments that indicate he's slipping further into his rabbit hole, and he knows it. We may have to bump up his care. Before entering his place, I get butterflies, not knowing just what I may find. Elderly care is new to me. How do you handle this, if you've had to.

You don't even have to respond. Just realized this has nothing to do with fibro, and there is most likely a group discussion somewhere here. As a matter of fact, I doubt my last ten posts have all been off topic. Apologies. Gonna have to lay low while I check things out here.

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@janieak....how youve done all you've done blows my mind. Cared for oldest son stuck for 5 months in hospital bed at home, after surgeries to rebuild a leg and heal his broken back. But he had no mental issues. He was grateful and a pleasure to care for. Now my dad, on the other hand.....ugh...never an easy man when young....now with dementia, is another story. He knows he is confused. Knows he SHOULD know where he's at at any given moment. KNOWS he is losing it and it makes him mad as a hornet. His anger seems to come from anxiety and frustration.

Have you had to deal with combativeness? Dad has moments that indicate he's slipping further into his rabbit hole, and he knows it. We may have to bump up his care. Before entering his place, I get butterflies, not knowing just what I may find. Elderly care is new to me. How do you handle this, if you've had to.

You don't even have to respond. Just realized this has nothing to do with fibro, and there is most likely a group discussion somewhere here. As a matter of fact, I doubt my last ten posts have all been off topic. Apologies. Gonna have to lay low while I check things out here.

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@jmjlove if you’d like to chat about dementia-related junk, I’m happy to share my experiences with you...figure that they may as well be good for someone else, too.

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@janieak....Thank you so much. This is new to me. I hope to be helpful, but with no experience in the bank, I may find myself needing advice from one who's been in the trenches, knows how to cope, how to be helpful, and could direct this sorry knownothing. I am willing, just inexperienced. Thanks.

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@jmjlove we will be here to help. I know very soon you will be supporting new members!

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@jmjlove if you’d like to chat about dementia-related junk, I’m happy to share my experiences with you...figure that they may as well be good for someone else, too.

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