Husband Went Missing for 4 Days

@kbee6973 - I'm so sorry that your ex-husband is having so many problems. This sounds like a scary time. Was he like this when you were married? When he took off that must have been very frustrating for you. I know that you said that his family is not near him but shouldn't you call them in to care for him?

His family is still my family and we have been in constant contact. My ex has a small business which was/is close to being sold so he needs to be here if the sale goes through. He can then go to FL to be with his younger brother. He had an episode 30 years ago, but in the 21 years we were married there were no issues. It's as if he went manic but the doctors haven't diagnosed him as bi-polar. He has been hospitalized twice recently. The first time he stayed in ER the whole time - 3 days. They put him on Ativan and he felt pretty good after 3 days so they released him but they told him they wouldn't give him a script for the Ativan because it's addictive. 3 days later I had to take him back to the hospital and he was admitted to the mental health unit for a week. They (the hospital) were puzzled why he received the treatment he did for the 3 days he had been there earlier. ?? It was the weekend, but supposedly there is always a psychiatrist on staff, he (my ex) was overlooked and never evaluated.

@kbee6973- Don't you just love the communications between doctors, hospitals and patients? I hate that this happens. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. How can you take care of someone when professionals let patients slip through your fingers, or pass on to another shift? A lot of medications, especially if combined can make a person very zombie like. I think that he needs to be overseen by one doctor who can make sure that he is constantly monitored. What do you think that your next step should be? What does the family think?

Several people from our church community are reaching out and are going to try to help with a plan. Previous hospital/psychiatrist were a joke so they're out.

@kbee6973- I hear you. I'm so glad that you reached out in your community for help. A lot of people hesitate.

I call the lack of communication negligence. I will not risk my venomous words as to how I truly feel. It would not change a thing. Saddens me it happens so often.

Oh me too @parus!

@kbee6973

I'm so sorry to read about your ex-husband's issues. He's lucky to have you there helping him right now. I'm not a medical professional, but I have taken Gabapentin, and it's not an anti-anxiety medication. It's prescribed for nerve pain and epilepsy. My experience with it was not good, so I don't recommend it. However, each of us reacts differently to medication.

Ariprazol (Abilify) is a mood stabilizer that may cause anxiety. It may add to his zombie like behavior. In fact, Gabapentin alone made me zombie like. (I lost my memory, was in a daze and couldn't think straight. I was worried I had early signs of Alzheimer's disease.) After I withdrew from Gabapentin, I was back to normal. I was prescribed it for pain after back surgery.

Hydroxyzine PAM is for anxiety. So, your PCP was wrong about that. I highly recommend that you contact your pharmacist and ask about these medications and using them together. Pharmacists specialize in medications and are more knowledgeable than physicians about meds and their effects. Also, ask his doctor to give him a DNA test to determine which medications will work best for him.

It sounds like he has a long struggle ahead, but one that is worth pursuing. It would help to know his age, and if he is taking any other medications. Be sure to take care of yourself in all this. Gentle hugs for you.

He is 63. He has been taking Trazadone for years to help him sleep which is extremely important because it's the only relief he gets from the mental torment he is suffering. I did a phone consult with a psychologist from my church this morning and he feels they put him on too much too fast in the week he was hospitalized. There's no way of knowing the cause & effect of each medication when a cocktail is prescribed from the get-go. This psychologist has witnessed good results with Gabapentin but questioned why my ex was put on Aripiprazole (Abilify). It's so individualized because as you stated Gabapentin didn't work for you and each medication needs a trial & error period.

@kbee6973

I'm glad you spoke with the psychologist and found out about Abilify, which can be dangerous when combined with other medications. I still recommend that you consult with a pharmacist about the cocktail he was prescribed along with the Trazodone to see how they interact.

I'm hoping for the best results for him. 63 is still young for him to live a more healthy life.
Thanks for your response.