Nervousness and Worry

Hi @pjss48 you may have noticed I added this discussion to the Depression & Anxiety group, as well as the Mental Health group, so that more Connect members would be see your post and join in on this discussion.

I wanted to tag fellow Connect members @mamacita @annedodrill44 and @johnhans as they have discussed these things in the past and may be able to offer support for you.

@pjss48 at this point, what are some ways you have tried to handle your nervousness and worry? Have you found anything that is successful? Or is this a recent development?

Hi, @pjss48 - I've had times in my life where nervousness or worry were problems, either because I was in the middle of something stressful, or anticipating something stressful, or that felt overwhelming (e.g., we're preparing our home to sell and move across town, and I've had a couple of nights where my mind was racing and worrying, thinking of a million things we would have to do to get our home "perfect" for the market).

At times when I've experienced nervousness and worry, I've found they were telling me something, like when I was engaged a few years before my current marriage and finally realized after several months my nervousness was telling me something was wrong with proceeding with getting married. Other times, I've found that nervousness and worry were mostly results of my own thought patterns (e.g., I'm feeling worried all day because I'm telling myself repeatedly that I've ruined the hardwood floor by running a humidifier in the room last night, which leaked in a giant puddle, and that it will cost us a couple of thousand dollars to have to refinish the floor and fix it).

When I am worrying about something, often times my husband asks me kindly, "Is that helping?" And, of course, I have to respond, "No, my worrying's not really helping." I was taught some cognitive behavioral therapy techniques a couple years back, and I found them very helpful in a period where worry or nervousness were cropping up — the process of jotting down my repetitive thoughts throughout the day, analyzing them for patterns, and then countering them. I realized that sometimes I can be "killing myself" with my own thought patterns (sort of the "Gee, no wonder I feel lousy - I've been telling myself all day I did a lousy job in giving that speech, or painting that room, or handling that conversation.")

I think that @contentandwell @kdo0827 @pankaj @manno @brit @karen00 @grandmar @hopeful33250 @phughes814 may also have some insights for you on any experiences they may have had with nervousness and worry, and how they have handled it.

@pjss48 - would you share a little more about any particular experience you've had with nervousness and worry?

Hello @pjss48

I would like to thank Lisa, @lisalucier, for inviting me into this conversation with you about worry. I was raised in an environment where worry was the first-line-of-defense, no matter what the problem was. Therefore, as an adult it became important to me to unlearn the worry habit and untangle the worry cycle so that my life could be less stressful. Perhaps you have had the same experience?

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is a great way to do that. Lisa's suggestion about writing down your worries and deciding how realistic they really are is a great idea. If you need help with this a counselor or therapist might be very helpful to you. I also found that David Burns book, The Feeling Good Handbook, to be very helpful in achieving this goal. Breaking the pattern of worry is an important task to maintaining good health, both physically and emotionally.

Will you post again and share how you are doing?

Teresa this is something that I have dealt with for many years. My Mother and Sister suffer with the same symptons, Grandmother too. Guess it just runs in the family. Only wish I could get some relief from this terrible feeling. It frightens me and makes me wonder about so many things that might not even happen. I'm fighting it each day and hopefully get some relief, God Bless Patti

An anti-anxiety medication can address this problem. I am also the beneficiary of the genetic predisposition to anxiety and depression. I would rather not have to take the medications, but I would rather have been taller, better looking, and the beneficiary of a large trust fund. Get with a physician/psychiatrist and explore the possibilities available. No sense being ill at ease when help should be available.

It's the "should be available" that is not there. My my psychiatrist works with me but it is so embarassing telling again my medication isn't working. Help! God Bless Patti

I so understand what you are saying, @brit. You say that your mother, sister, grandmother all have these same problems. So, like me, you understand that some of your anxiety/worry is learned behavior. The CBT mentioned by @lisalucier and myself can really help to unlearn the worry/anxiety cycle and get untangled from its roots. It does take time and effort, but new thought patterns can be learned eventually.

Have you ever been exposed to CBT, cognitive behavior therapy?

Patti- Perhaps you need another evaluation by another doctor? What does your PCP say about this? Also are you able to get out and walk or exercise?

@elwooodsdad- lol- It always helps to have a sense of humor! I feel the same way.

Teresa and Lisa- I have to have a genetic component for nervousness and worry! It's my middle name. I think that it's a silent "What ifs" that our minds are doing, part of our intuition that something is off. What kind of countering your worries do you do Lisa?
This might be helpful: https://www.whatnext.com/blog/posts/don-t-let-worry-rob-you-of-peace-of-mind