Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health

Thank you!!!! I will try gentler and look at sports bras. That would be wonderful not to have the bottom band cut into where the incisions were made. So, far things seem to be moving along well. Hoping we get some rain in this part of Texas! We need it.

Feeling ok and do my best to.keep busy and motivated to get projects done while I do feel ok. Hang in there and don’t stop your check-ups.

I have sensitive skin. I had this very same problem with one of my 4 scars being right under the bra elastic. What worked for me were 3 things: using "Scar Away" tape for 3 months (at least 22 hours out of 24 every day); going without a bra (for 8 1/2 months), and wearing tops under loose flannel shirts that were slightly, but comfortably, compressive (I hat anything tight and too close to my skin - I wore these inside out with the seam out). Then after 8 1/2 months I transitioned to Hanes Smooth comfort bra (a tip that I found from another lung surgery patient). Then finally back to a normal bra, although 1 yr, 8 months later I sometimes wear the comfort bras. I got mine at Target and also at Amazon. It's style WHG 796. So, did I feel comfortable not wearing a bra? No, but the tops and flannel shirts helped me to feel a little bit better than my t-shirts. Good Luck. BTW, all my scars are now flat.

@muffy Thank you for the ideas. Ice ordered three bras from the gentler site. Really like the idea of the Scar Away tape. Will order that from good old amazon, too. I don't like really tight things and haven't despite the surgery. I"m retired and don't see a real reason to get all "gussied" up s I used to, unless I go to a concert, or something like an opera. Anyway, I"m glad to know about your scars being flat. I don't mind eating many months for things to return to normal so 8 1/2 months, our so seems reasonable. The rib cage feels sore sometimes--that happened yesterday while huffing and puffing at the Cardiologists; However, it is much better today. I'll check out the comfort bras on Amazon--Amazon has me completely spoiled for getting things. Will get the tape there, too. Nearby where I get my hair done is a specialty bra shop for all kinds of needs. I'd due a trim and will go over to that in a couple of weeks and just check things out. I appreciate your tips of feeling better while wearing clothes. I think I can get by with my loose Tee Shirts and a blouse with them when out in public. Again, I appreciate your information. All of this helps so much in recovery. Thank you fro your good wishes.

@merpreb Found yesterday in the whole night that I was really feeling worried, apprehensive, and flat out frightened. It is for now a kind of mild PTSD. I take generic Prozac for depression andI guess this helps, but for some reason the doubts of "what ifs" are starting to creep in. Also as mentioned in another post of mine, I had the achy rib soreness that seems to be part of the post surgery recovery. It felt like a big lump of ribs on the right side that simply ached no matter what I did, or what pain pills I took. So, I am not anywhere near Little Miss Sunshine as I go through the healing process. Some days I worry about what might go wrong with the first post surgery CT scan, what if the surgery was not sufficient--have all the path reports and the detailed report from my kind surgeon. All reads well and no one on the medical team seems overly concerned, but I seem to lack a basic trust that I'm being told everything. That is purely conjecture on my part. I get kind of OCD about wondering all of the what ifs and that is not healthy for mind, or body. Will see my oncologist week after next and see if he knows of a local group that meets where these topics can be discussed in a safe environment. Also, am thinking that maybe a yoga class that is gentle and easy would be a good idea for getting back more motion. So, not to complain, but everything is never just wonderful--I do have my moments--many of them. There are few people except for this site with whom I can speak my mind and am learning to do that. Just wanted to let all know here that I am a cancer survivor who hopes and prays the future will be okay. I try to live each day as it comes, but it isn't easy. I find lots of strength in this group. Thank you all.

Hi merpreb. I am one month from completing everything, lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. I too feel the fear everyday. I'm on anti anxiety meds but I don't think they really help. I saw my surgeon this week and she said everything looks great and clear but I still worry. I'm not only afraid of reoccurrence but seem to be afraid of just about everything like if I'm eating to much sugar, carbs, can I have a beer with my husband and the list goes on and on and on. 🙁 I hate this new me but don't know how to fix it. Just take one day at a time I guess.

@karendb - Karen, I have many of the same concerns and in addition some painful physical side effects from Arimidex. Starting tomorrow i'm going to go off Arimidex for two weeks to see if it is contributing to these things. I'll let you know the results.

HI @sparklegram. I'm on arimidex for about a month now and no major concerns. A few aches and pains and a bit of insomnia but nothing I can't handle. I'm wondering if this AI can also attribute to depression. Oh well.....good luck to you and feel better soon.

@alamogal635 and karendb-Good morning. I know what you both mean in your descriptions of the feelings that you have both voiced. I know that it won't help when I say that all of these feelings are very normal after cancer treatments/surgery. When we are in the hospital all our of our needs are taken care of. We concentrate on recuperating, grinning and bearing exercises and walking the halls. I know that when I stepped out of the hospital door I felt like I was going from one world into one I knew nothing about. I'm sorry that I can't reassure either of you that these thoughts will leave you soon. They probably won't until you both have established more of a normal life within the confines of post cancer. They will diminish but not really go away. How can they? We all might get cancer again, and we will be continually reminded that we had cancer by all of the follow-up CT scans, mammograms, etc. Your fears will be more of a gentle tugging on your memories than a constant jabbing in the stomach. But for now, as you both are still new to this it's just part of recuperating. Your bodies have changed, your chemistry has changed and your minds have been scrambled with meds and all the new words and questions that you have asked and been asked.
I had a chest wall muscle cramp up on me for years. I had to stretch or rub it to ease it. I still feel twinges of it every now and then. I like that term, basic trust @alamogal635. Because why should you trust anything right now? @karendb, wouldn't you agree?
As you both heal please become more social so, at least have contact with things and people other than your cancer and treatments.
As you worry you might want to prioritize what you have control over. Make a list of things that you do have control over - what you eat, exercise, all your daily care. Then a list for things that you can't control. What to do with this? Well you can know that there is a difference between ruminating and worrying. Ruminating is great, we all have to think things over, it helps put things, at least, into semi- order and perspective. And it's fine to worry. It has taken me years not to dwell on my fear, years at ruminating and not sleeping, nightmares, and tests. About two weeks before my CT scan I get very afraid, and I expect this.
Somethings that might help are:
You can't control the future but if you know what is ahead of you you can prepare. Put your effort in learning what your follow up tests will be. This will help ease your approach and attitude. It will help your reactions. Becoming familiar with something will lessen the horrible feeling of "the unknown" and what if's.
Ask yourselves what "happens if" your fears will be realized? What will you do? How will you react?
Set up a plan to control your stress. What have you done before? Can you still do these things? Were they successful before? If not change them.
I applaud both of you for sharing your early fears. I wish that I had had Connect in the past, and do feel blessed to have it in my here and now!

@merpreb, thank you so much for the advice and kind, understanding words.