Spiraling down but fighting to stay up.

Posted by java_mom @java_mom, Oct 6, 2018

I wanted to introduce myself and talk a bit about how I've been feeling lately.
I've been dealing with major depression and anxiety disorder. I also suspect there's PTSD in there as well. About 11 years ago I was hospitalized a few times and had ECT.
Lately things have been absolute sh$t. Sleeping loads, eating less, not wanting to get out of bed or leave the house. I feel a deep and profound sadness. My mom says I have a big load to carry (miscarriage, brain surgery, knee surgery, stalker ex) but I tend to be like 'oh I'm fine.' Obviously, I'm not.
Currently I'm on Pristiq, Klonopin and Risperdal (sp.?). I want to feel normal and not like a broken human.
Thank you for letting me share. I'd like to hear your experiences and coping techniques, too.

Marisa

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Hi @java_mom I’m Karen and I also fight depression & anxiety. I understand about never getting out of bed or getting dressed or even brushing your teeth. I have fought this battle for about 25 years. Keep your support system going. Do you have friends you can talk to? I find they don’t have to have to Gone through exa

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@karen00

Hi @java_mom I’m Karen and I also fight depression & anxiety. I understand about never getting out of bed or getting dressed or even brushing your teeth. I have fought this battle for about 25 years. Keep your support system going. Do you have friends you can talk to? I find they don’t have to have to Gone through exa

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@java_mom sorry about that. Anyway they don’t have to have gone through what you have, but if they can be sympathetic, that helps. Your Mom sounds supportive. Can you talk to her? Do you have a therapist? Sorry for the barrage of questions. Anyway, you can always write to me- I didn’t go into my past but I can and I do understand!

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May you feel comfort and better very soon. You are a survivor! : )

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I'm just starting a new health regimen that is working wonders so far and I'm sharing it with you.

The impetus for doing it is my doctor put a scare in me a few weeks ago that my blood test showed pre-diabetes. That scared me into action and my plan is working wonders, having struggled with depress., anxiety, overweight and insomnia, waking early.

This is what I now do - Every day, or at least 5 - 7 days a week, rain or shine, hot or cold, (I dress appropriately for the weather) I wake up and I walk, starting from my home to the nearby park with a paved walking path, beautiful natural surroundings, the sound of the creek, the smell of the fresh air, and I walk the path to the end and back home, hills and all, so that a third of my walk is along the sidewalk to the park, about a third is in the park, and a third back home, for a total walk of just over an hour a day.

I expect as I get into better shape, that time will decrease, but my walking goal is an hour a day. Well! Starting from day one, walking to/from/in the park reduces my anxiety, boosts my mood, helps me to get to bed earlier, and I'm losing weight, going from my present 230 to my goal weight of 180, giving myself a healthy, safe 6 months to reach 180, a done deal, I've made up my mind and know that to be my ideal weight. And, I betcha when I go back to my doctor, he's going to say i no longer have pre-diabetes!

The other thing I'm doing is, as a former sugar addict, like many people, I've cut out all processed foods and refined carbs like cookies and cakes, and replaced them with 3 reasonable meals a day, a daily salad, and, in-between meals, I only eat fresh fruits and vegs., as many as I want. An "apple a day!" (And my digestive health is improving, too!) The weight is coming off, I feel better, and if I could bottle what walking for an hour does, I would give it to all of you and see your moods lift and excess pounds peel off and walking soaks up anxiety like a sponge!

Please, if you are able, lace up the walking shoes and step outside, everybody!

REPLY
@stressedmesseddepressed

I'm just starting a new health regimen that is working wonders so far and I'm sharing it with you.

The impetus for doing it is my doctor put a scare in me a few weeks ago that my blood test showed pre-diabetes. That scared me into action and my plan is working wonders, having struggled with depress., anxiety, overweight and insomnia, waking early.

This is what I now do - Every day, or at least 5 - 7 days a week, rain or shine, hot or cold, (I dress appropriately for the weather) I wake up and I walk, starting from my home to the nearby park with a paved walking path, beautiful natural surroundings, the sound of the creek, the smell of the fresh air, and I walk the path to the end and back home, hills and all, so that a third of my walk is along the sidewalk to the park, about a third is in the park, and a third back home, for a total walk of just over an hour a day.

I expect as I get into better shape, that time will decrease, but my walking goal is an hour a day. Well! Starting from day one, walking to/from/in the park reduces my anxiety, boosts my mood, helps me to get to bed earlier, and I'm losing weight, going from my present 230 to my goal weight of 180, giving myself a healthy, safe 6 months to reach 180, a done deal, I've made up my mind and know that to be my ideal weight. And, I betcha when I go back to my doctor, he's going to say i no longer have pre-diabetes!

The other thing I'm doing is, as a former sugar addict, like many people, I've cut out all processed foods and refined carbs like cookies and cakes, and replaced them with 3 reasonable meals a day, a daily salad, and, in-between meals, I only eat fresh fruits and vegs., as many as I want. An "apple a day!" (And my digestive health is improving, too!) The weight is coming off, I feel better, and if I could bottle what walking for an hour does, I would give it to all of you and see your moods lift and excess pounds peel off and walking soaks up anxiety like a sponge!

Please, if you are able, lace up the walking shoes and step outside, everybody!

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Way to go nolongerstressed…..You are amazing! Good for you! Thanks for sharing!
Best wishes
Ainsleigh

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@stressedmesseddepressed

I'm just starting a new health regimen that is working wonders so far and I'm sharing it with you.

The impetus for doing it is my doctor put a scare in me a few weeks ago that my blood test showed pre-diabetes. That scared me into action and my plan is working wonders, having struggled with depress., anxiety, overweight and insomnia, waking early.

This is what I now do - Every day, or at least 5 - 7 days a week, rain or shine, hot or cold, (I dress appropriately for the weather) I wake up and I walk, starting from my home to the nearby park with a paved walking path, beautiful natural surroundings, the sound of the creek, the smell of the fresh air, and I walk the path to the end and back home, hills and all, so that a third of my walk is along the sidewalk to the park, about a third is in the park, and a third back home, for a total walk of just over an hour a day.

I expect as I get into better shape, that time will decrease, but my walking goal is an hour a day. Well! Starting from day one, walking to/from/in the park reduces my anxiety, boosts my mood, helps me to get to bed earlier, and I'm losing weight, going from my present 230 to my goal weight of 180, giving myself a healthy, safe 6 months to reach 180, a done deal, I've made up my mind and know that to be my ideal weight. And, I betcha when I go back to my doctor, he's going to say i no longer have pre-diabetes!

The other thing I'm doing is, as a former sugar addict, like many people, I've cut out all processed foods and refined carbs like cookies and cakes, and replaced them with 3 reasonable meals a day, a daily salad, and, in-between meals, I only eat fresh fruits and vegs., as many as I want. An "apple a day!" (And my digestive health is improving, too!) The weight is coming off, I feel better, and if I could bottle what walking for an hour does, I would give it to all of you and see your moods lift and excess pounds peel off and walking soaks up anxiety like a sponge!

Please, if you are able, lace up the walking shoes and step outside, everybody!

Jump to this post

I think that's great! One of the reasons that makes getting out so therapeutic is the time in full spectrum light. Even on cloudy days getting outside for 30 minutes to an hour can make a big difference. I'm in a manual wheelchair so can't go for the walk. When I was working, though, I spent my lunch hour and breaks sitting out in my car with the door open so I was getting that full spectrum light. The farther north you live the more likely you'll feel a big difference, especially in winter. Getting outside also gets you out of bed and off the couch even if it's just for an hour. Your neighbors or your mailperson might come by and give you some interaction that will give you a little boost as well. Right now I'm finding it hard to take my own advice so maybe we can work on it together @java_mom.

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@pearlbaby7

I think that's great! One of the reasons that makes getting out so therapeutic is the time in full spectrum light. Even on cloudy days getting outside for 30 minutes to an hour can make a big difference. I'm in a manual wheelchair so can't go for the walk. When I was working, though, I spent my lunch hour and breaks sitting out in my car with the door open so I was getting that full spectrum light. The farther north you live the more likely you'll feel a big difference, especially in winter. Getting outside also gets you out of bed and off the couch even if it's just for an hour. Your neighbors or your mailperson might come by and give you some interaction that will give you a little boost as well. Right now I'm finding it hard to take my own advice so maybe we can work on it together @java_mom.

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Thank you for that great explanation of full spectrum light, @pearlbaby7 .

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@karen00

Hi @java_mom I’m Karen and I also fight depression & anxiety. I understand about never getting out of bed or getting dressed or even brushing your teeth. I have fought this battle for about 25 years. Keep your support system going. Do you have friends you can talk to? I find they don’t have to have to Gone through exa

Jump to this post

The only person I feel comfortable talking to is my mom. I isolate a lot so I don't have many friends but even if I did I don't think I'd talk about it. There's that pressure for me to be always fine, always'on' and taking care of everyone else.

REPLY
@stressedmesseddepressed

I'm just starting a new health regimen that is working wonders so far and I'm sharing it with you.

The impetus for doing it is my doctor put a scare in me a few weeks ago that my blood test showed pre-diabetes. That scared me into action and my plan is working wonders, having struggled with depress., anxiety, overweight and insomnia, waking early.

This is what I now do - Every day, or at least 5 - 7 days a week, rain or shine, hot or cold, (I dress appropriately for the weather) I wake up and I walk, starting from my home to the nearby park with a paved walking path, beautiful natural surroundings, the sound of the creek, the smell of the fresh air, and I walk the path to the end and back home, hills and all, so that a third of my walk is along the sidewalk to the park, about a third is in the park, and a third back home, for a total walk of just over an hour a day.

I expect as I get into better shape, that time will decrease, but my walking goal is an hour a day. Well! Starting from day one, walking to/from/in the park reduces my anxiety, boosts my mood, helps me to get to bed earlier, and I'm losing weight, going from my present 230 to my goal weight of 180, giving myself a healthy, safe 6 months to reach 180, a done deal, I've made up my mind and know that to be my ideal weight. And, I betcha when I go back to my doctor, he's going to say i no longer have pre-diabetes!

The other thing I'm doing is, as a former sugar addict, like many people, I've cut out all processed foods and refined carbs like cookies and cakes, and replaced them with 3 reasonable meals a day, a daily salad, and, in-between meals, I only eat fresh fruits and vegs., as many as I want. An "apple a day!" (And my digestive health is improving, too!) The weight is coming off, I feel better, and if I could bottle what walking for an hour does, I would give it to all of you and see your moods lift and excess pounds peel off and walking soaks up anxiety like a sponge!

Please, if you are able, lace up the walking shoes and step outside, everybody!

Jump to this post

I totally agree with you about cutting out or down on sugar! At my last physical at least a year ago my doc told me I was pre-diabetic. I bought a glucometer and have watched my sugars climb up but as soon as I started eating fewer carbohydrates and watching sugar they've been better. And I've definitely been feeling better.

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