Depression and Anxiety at an older age

Hi @tens4u5125 What type of connections and tools are you looking to obtain?

, At first, I had to do a double take because I thought the j was an i. WHAT?? That's would be something you might think a depressed person would say. I, too, am a Christian. I am older than both of you. I have suffered with depression since I was a child told by my grandmother and mother that I was not wanted. I should write a book--then perhaps people would understand. I take pain pills. Nothing for depression at the moment. I have been having problems with my heart rate--my bp got to 200/100 at 1:00am. This happens usually at bedtime. My bp sky rockets. I am extremely depressed! I have been hibernating since February. My children came only once--I made them stay outside. I just don't think this is living. If I am confined for months and months, not seeing anyone, no friends, no church, no Bible Study, no kids, what is really the sense of living? My brother shot himself at the age 27 because his beautiful wife fell in love with his best friend. They had three beautiful children a five-year-old boy, a three-and one-year old girls. My mother suffered from depression also. That only added to it. She married the love of her life at the age 17. Dad was the same age. The problem was he loved all women. My mother suffered a broken heart. All the kids knew it. He was also very abusive and alcoholic. I cried myself to sleep many a night. Then I married a man just like him. I was 17. So, this wasn't meant to be so long. It just gives you insight to why people are depressed. God bless us each and everyone! If it were not for Jesus, I would not be here today.

Waiting to die. I pray that we believe we have a better place in Heaven if we believe in and accept Jesus as our Lord and savior. If we do, we are not going to die. We will get rid of these hurting bodies and get new bodies that have no pain. This is my hope. I too, am thinking about being isolated so much, what else do we have to look forward to? If our kids had a new baby, we wouldn't be allowed near it. Oh, it is sad.

I to believe in heaven after death. But Jesus wants us to persevere on earth and be a positive influence to the younger. You should read the bible and maybe write down about your life. It would be something you can leave for other generations to learn from! Don’t give up. Things could change tomorrow. God bless you.

one of the moderators sent me this link: https://americanbonehealth.org/bone-health/medications-that-can-be-bad-for-your-bones-2/

@woogie @mattie @tens4u5125 @lolaemma @junkartist @pjss48. And many others.

It's late, and I'm tired, and as always, I'm in pain. So, I'll just write a little, enough to start getting acquainted.

I'm turning 70 next week. My wife and I have been married for 48 years, and we have a son and a daughter. Our son and his wife have 1 daughter who started 2nd grade today. Our daughter and her husband have 2 girls, one is 3, and the other just had her first birthday.

I was in the ministry, straight out of Bible College in 1972, newlyweds with the hope for a bright future. I'll skip the details of our next 30+ years, to around 2000. I was the pastor of a church in a town of 247 residents, enjoying the work and involved in community affairs. But, in spite of my enjoyment and satisfaction with my job, I was becoming depressed, maybe in part from burn out. I couldn't put my finger on what triggered my downward spiral. I started taking antidepressants in 2003, but they didn't slow the depression down. I made several suicide attempts, and self admitted to a suicide recovery facility, which was a very nice place. The usual stay is 3 days. I stayed for 6 weeks, because I knew that I wasn't ready to rejoin the world and stay alive.

I retired at 55, because I was totally unable to function. I received Social Security disability, and we moved to a home we had bought 2 years earlier. We live in the country, and the covid19 restrictions have affected us very little. It was hard to miss church for 13 weeks, but my wife and I are happy to be home. There's so much work to be done in the yard and on the house and barn and shop that we don't really mind being home and having time to do everything. I always thought that retirement meant travel and rest. Reality turns out to be quite different.

I know about dealing with having too much stuff. We both enjoy collecting collections. We are familiar faces at the thrift stores around central Oregon, where we live.

The first psychiatrist I had diagnosed me with major depression (no surprise there), anxiety disorder, OCD and PTSD. I tried lots of antidepressants, and landed on Wellbutrin for depression and Klonopin for anxiety. I've been taking them since January of 2006, adding others along the way. In 2013, I started being treated for peripheral neuropathy. It began with numbness and tingling in my feet, and progressed to more and more pain. By now, it's 6-7 during the day and 8-9 when I sit down or lie down. Having that much pain all the time makes depression worse.

So, that's where I am today. I see a therapist weekly and have some good doctors. I take quite a few medications for one thing or another. Without morphine I don't know how I could keep going. And with a supportive wife, a faithful service dog, and a strong faith in God, I do life a day at a time.

I told you I'd try to keep it short. Sorry for not keeping my promise. I look forward to getting to know all of you.

Jim

Hi Jim I am Kerry a new member. Retired RN. A believer like you with a history of anxiety and depression. I have pain issues as well. I am 59. I only take venlafaxine 75mg. I was successfully tapered off klonopin in January 2018. I just take naproxen and tylenol. I like my recumbent bike walks with my dog and stretching exercises. I learned that participation in churches for me is connected to codependency and trauma. I found it in medical literature as well. I got bacterial meningitis of my brain in May 2014 . I was in multi organ failure on a vent in sepsis not expected to live. I did. I visited many churches during my journey of recovery but so many members discouraged my discipline to follow my health care providers treatment plans. Pray about it first. When god wont remove a thorn- etc. I had a seizure risk from the craniotomy done to remove the abscess in my left temporal lobe. It was effort many changes but in july 2019 I was seizure free according to my neurologist even on eeg. I was tapered down from 400mg topiramate to 75 mg twice daily. It is nice to get to know you. Take care of yourself. Kerry

@jimhd I totally understand. Mental illness runs in our family. My mom took her life at age 69. I am just have depression and anxiety. Just went through a big surgery on June 9. My daughter is also depressive and has anxiety. We both were diagnosed, in San Diego with being bipolar 2. My son is bipolar 1 and is a professor, but cannot teach, we also have no contact with us. Part of it was the way he was raised, his dad was verbally abusive to him, but mostly it's the bipolar 1. They have a little girl who I haven't since she was 3 and she's going to be 9. They are in NYC and his wife is a professor at Columbia. If they visit the other grandmother we do sykpe with her, but they are not going there this summer, so no seeing Marlowe through skyping. We can't even mail anything to their house and have to mail it to the other grandma in Chicago and then she forwards it to Marlowe. It is so sad and I cry often. I also had to give up my 14 year old very healthy Papillon, because I can't take care of her because of my back surgery. I wear a brace and can't bend, twist, or lift anything too heavy. I miss her so much, I cry. Many more are ill in my family with mental illness.
I'm sorry you are so depressed. I don't want to see you take your life. I'm on Lexapro and Lamictal which has helped, but I'm just going through a tough period right now, with recovery from the back surgery.
What med are you on? You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I cry for you.

@kla1960
I’m just curious if you had any problems coming off Klonopin?
“I was seizure free according to my neurologist even on eeg.”
Your neurologist can’t guarantee you’ll never have another seizure and just because your EEG was normal only means during the time of your EEG you didn’t have any abnormal seizure activity.
I certainly hope you never do have another seizure and I wish you the very best.
Depression and anxiety are seizure triggers so I hope those are well-controlled,
Jake

Hi Jake. My biggest issue during the klonopin taper was my knowledge that it could potentially cause a seizure. It was a scary and empowering journey. I had a prior eeg showing encephalopathy from the AEDs I was on. I am a retired RN and an advocate for myself. Once it was done my cognition improved. That was January 2018. September 2018 my topiramate taper began. Over 4 months I went from 400mg daily to 75mg twice daily. That is now the only AED I am on.