Depression and Anxiety at an older age

Hi Merry. My agoraphobia started when trying to taper off diazepam, which I was put on 10 months ago low dose. I did not have it before, I have spent most of the 10 months trying to reduce the 4 mgs diazepam I was prescribed for anxiety, and each tiny reduction has been a torture. Now at 2.3mgs and housebound.
I do try to make myself walk around the block each day, but need to have someone on the end of my phone to keep talking me through. I have tried to start CBT but it wont work due to the diazepam taper which is horrendous and leaves me in a state of fear all day. Lost 30lbs in weight and muscle loss. Such a terrible time with it.
I have been considering adding an AD to help, but as my CNS has been so sensitised I am concerned that they will be too overstimulating for me now.
I would be grateful for any input in how to help overcome the massive fear I live in, due to the diazepam taper, as I am sure once I could reduce the major anxiety I will be able to tackle the agoraphobia.
I am not sure where to go from here.

Thanks for your replies. I meant I didn't know what to do physically during the day, which causes more depression. I don't have a lot of support. None of my siblings live near. I have a couple friends but I don't want to bother them too much.

Today the anxiety turned into a panic attack. I have had an MRI and no big deal. I was getting around to go and things did not feel right- panic attack stuff. Finally called about the leads still around my vagus nerve from the vagus nerve stimulator which was removed in 2010. After consulting a radiologist they called back and said absolutely NOT!! Never should I have one!! No more panic attacks. 😊. WHEW ...

@chinchuck @parus
Hello again,
I agree change can be very difficult as is most anything that's really worthwhile. I have a dear friend who HAD Agoraphobia, she lives in the UK. For years she wouldn't get the mail or even open door even it was someone she knew. She wouldn't crack open door to let the paper fall in. She caused herself to be worse than a prisoner in her own home, even prisoners get recreation time outside. Yet she is married, something virtually everyone tells me is not always easy. When I look at divorce statistics, they must me right. But she overcame it and looking back, she can't understand how she allowed herself to be controlled in such a negative way by her mind. She once wrote me, although I may not be 100 percent cured yet but at least I'm in charge now. On Thanksgiving 2018 she travelled from England to New York City to see the Macy Day Parade. Quite an accomplishment. She told me ”Your my inspiration” although I felt coplimented all over the place I told her you need to set your sights higher or you'll never get out of this mess. Look at the people who drive, the most dangerous form of transportation but refuse to fly which is by far the safest type of transportation.
I know it's hard, happiness doesn't come knocking at the.front door, it can be very illusive. Happiness can also be so close we miss it all together because of what we take for granted, like breathing, walking, talking, still having my Mom and seeing her face and hearing her voice, even if it's not what I want to hear. I never thought about not having no arms or legs until I met a man without. We took him to the dog races and he was one of the happiest positive people I ever knew. Happiness really is everywhere, we just have to be willing to appreciate it. Good will always win over evil if people only give it a chance. All the natural and man made wonders pale in comparison to happines. A goal no one should ever stop seeking.
I've been on the dark side too. I've been depressed had a couple panic attacks. I suppose it was easy to fall into the depression pit since I was probably feeling sorry for myself having seizures every day, being in comas for weeks and months at a time, being unconscious more than being conscious and having a feeding tube. Compared to others I had it easy. Yet even though happiness was always within reach I wasn't willing to make the effort to accept it. Although I generally try and disway people away from Antidepressants sometimes they are a necessary evil, which I believe should only be used short term. There are so many alternative treatments available. People on Antidepressants are 15 times more likely to commit suicide. Recurrence of depression is more frequent in patients taking them. Studies show 80% of patients improving are ones given placebos. Just a very few of the reasons why I don’t recommend these drugs. So unless you're suicidal or otherwise in dire need of urgent medication, before you dose up on side-effect laden pharmaceuticals, it's worth considering some natural treatments that may help.
I'm so sorry your going through this and I know you have the ability to become a happy and vibrant person and be in total in control of your destiny. When you succeed in overcoming these issues I believe it may be the most rewarding experience of your life.
Blessings, health & happiness to you,
Jake

@chinchuck @parus
Hello again,
I agree change can be very difficult as is most anything that's really worthwhile. I have a dear friend who HAD Agoraphobia, she lives in the UK. For years she wouldn't get the mail or even open door even it was someone she knew. She wouldn't crack open door to let the paper fall in. She caused herself to be worse than a prisoner in her own home, even prisoners get recreation time outside. Yet she is married, something virtually everyone tells me is not always easy. When I look at divorce statistics, they must me right. But she overcame it and looking back, she can't understand how she allowed herself to be controlled in such a negative way by her mind. She once wrote me, although I may not be 100 percent cured yet but at least I'm in charge now. On Thanksgiving 2018 she travelled from England to New York City to see the Macy Day Parade. Quite an accomplishment. She told me ”Your my inspiration” although I felt coplimented all over the place I told her you need to set your sights higher or you'll never get out of this mess. Look at the people who drive, the most dangerous form of transportation but refuse to fly which is by far the safest type of transportation.
I know it's hard, happiness doesn't come knocking at the.front door, it can be very illusive. Happiness can also be so close we miss it all together because of what we take for granted, like breathing, walking, talking, still having my Mom and seeing her face and hearing her voice, even if it's not what I want to hear. I never thought about not having no arms or legs until I met a man without. We took him to the dog races and he was one of the happiest positive people I ever knew. Happiness really is everywhere, we just have to be willing to appreciate it. Good will always win over evil if people only give it a chance. All the natural and man made wonders pale in comparison to happines. A goal no one should ever stop seeking.
I've been on the dark side too. I've been depressed had a couple panic attacks. I suppose it was easy to fall into the depression pit since I was probably feeling sorry for myself having seizures every day, being in comas for weeks and months at a time, being unconscious more than being conscious and having a feeding tube. Compared to others I had it easy. Yet even though happiness was always within reach I wasn't willing to make the effort to accept it. Although I generally try and disway people away from Antidepressants sometimes they are a necessary evil, which I believe should only be used short term. There are so many alternative treatments available. People on Antidepressants are 15 times more likely to commit suicide. Recurrence of depression is more frequent in patients taking them. Studies show 80% of patients improving are ones given placebos. Just a very few of the reasons why I don’t recommend these drugs. So unless you're suicidal or otherwise in dire need of urgent medication, before you dose up on side-effect laden pharmaceuticals, it's worth considering some natural treatments that may help.
I'm so sorry your going through this and I know you have the ability to become a happy and vibrant person and be in total in control of your destiny. When you succeed in overcoming these issues I believe it may be the most rewarding experience of your life.
Blessings, health & happiness to you,
Jake

@chinchuck Good morning! I’m so sorry for all that you are going through. Sounds really tough. May I ask, are you working closely with your doctor as you come off the Valium? Why are you coming off? Definitely ask your doctor for antidepressants— they can certainly help. They do take 2+ weeks to start working, though. Do you have a therapist that you work with? I’m 71 and have a therapist, antidepressants, and a chronic disease that affects my brain. But not as difficult as yours. I certainly wish you luck. Stay in touch to let us know how you’re doing and maybe some of the others will have suggestions.