Depression and Anxiety at an older age

@jakedduck- Without getting into specific words your implications, how your words come across to others, can be hurtful because they imply that we just need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and be strong and if we don't than something is wrong with us. You know that even if you do not use those specific words, they way you say them, how you phrase them can imply something different and this is what I am talking about.
There are no alternative treatments that can cure depression. I said this before. Yes, there are alternative treatments, they aren't cures though, they are just treatments.
You are correct- there is no known testing or known cause for chemical imbalance, a term that I used. Please read this link
https://www.healthline.com/health/chemical-imbalance-in-the-brain#causes
@jakedduck- Your method of controlling your panic attacks is a very personal one, but panic attacks are not depression.
It's difficult to express to someone who has never experienced depression what it is. I describe it as best as I could in my post about PTSD:
https://my20yearscancer.com/ptsd-lung-cancer/
I think that unless we are doctors we shouldn't try to explain our understanding of research, percentages, etc. We just don't know enough to do so. Relaying our experiences that are appropriate - meaning that you have experience in what is being talked about and supportive phrases is what connect is all about.
With depression Jake, you just can't try and relate you have to have had it to do so. I hope that you never have to experience it so that you can.
Everyone realizes that you love and care about them here. But sometimes it's best to just sit back, listen and read what we have to say without trying to fix us when you really have not experienced what we have and can not be supportive with what is being talked about. That will show us more love than you can imagine.
Feel free to message me if you still want to discuss this.

@merpreb Thank you for sharing your writing of PTSD. I find myself destroying personal possessions and making numerous trips to the dumpster trying to rid myself of all parts of me. I had not a clue what had gotten into me. I still get into these places where the past pummels. I have done a lot of cleansing in this manner. Had beautiful collections of books-yes, they are gone. Personal artwork, art supplies, the list could go on. I can understand so clearly your words that have described PTSD so vividly. I go off of the radar completely. I have found that I can come to this community as I can do so in the safety of my own home. I have learned many things here about keeping myself safe. I have a little grandson that loves his grandma and I hear his little voice I know I cannot let him done because of days long gone now and yet so vivid at times.
When the PTSD takes hold it is NOT simply telling myself I am no longer there. Would that it were so easy.
Could feel your pain as I have been there and still return as those triggers are there. Some I am not aware of. I am still learning. Thanks again for helping me realize I am not losing my mind.

@parus- PTSD makes you feel like that. Thank you

@merpreb Hello Merry:

I appreciate your posting your blog and also the post from healthline.com and the articles there about chemical imbalance. Really good ideas and writing.

Why thank you

@merpreb @jakedduck1 We each bring valuable thoughts to this cyber table. But words on a screen are just that. Words. While this forum is invaluable, we do not get the benefit of face-to-face communication, and all that entails. The actual expression on the speaker'face, the listener's face, the tone of voice, the body language. So we deal with it best we can.
Ginger

You have given all of us wonderful reminder of the strengths and limitations of online discussions, @gingerw. Thank you for that~

@teresa and @ginger- absolutely!

I’m not exactly sure who to write this to. I’m 70. 15 years ago I lost 100K in the stock market. This was my start of a nervous break down. I also had several motorcycle accidents before than and stupid accidents from working on stage my life.

After my breakdown which took the Bristol Hospital in Connecticut 4 tries to figure out, I was given anti depressants and anxiety. Then came the high blood pressure/cholesterol. Then unexplained pain mostly in my legs. Horrible spasms, extreme pain, somedays unable to walk.

I saw 9 specialists all over New England. Countless MRI’s, brainwave, EEG test that is pure torture. Cat scans. Tests after test were inconclusive. Could be neuropathy, signs of ALS, maybe MS. Tests tests and more tests. Sinking into lower and lower depression. Vicodin, Gabapentin, muscle relaxers. I was up to 15 different pills from 9 different doctors. Then painful injections of Botox in my legs. One doctor said I could have a late stage of cerebral palsy?

This past March 2018 after loosing all body definition, my weight went from 155lbs Lean muscle from working on the stage my entire life. Skins sores like black & blue marks I decided to kill myself. Somehow a God intervention happened. A fellow show dancer from Radio City called me out of the blue. We hadn’t spoken in 20+ years. He told me about his wife having similar problems and she went to an acupuncturist.

To make a long story short and crying uncontrollably to this woman who is now a dear dear friend. After a few sessions the pain started to go away. Spasms decreased, strength started to return. I dismissed my quack doctors from UCONN, Yale, Mass General, other specialists and my regular PC. At this point in my life I was using a walker and almost a wheelchair which I said “I will never permit this. A new doctor suggested as I started to recover slowly to start PT. My first and last visit lasted 15 minutes. They asked me my goals and I told them “I must return to normal.” They said that might be impossible and I won’t go into detail as to my response. It’s obvious no one ever told these “experts” what the human body can do.

At 70, my muscles are growing, my body is starting to get defined including my 6 pac. I don’t mean to sound shallow but I had decided at the age of 8 year old after seeing the Easter Show at Radio City Music Hall my life was mapped out.

Okay, now for my questions. I no longer take blood pressure or cholesterol pills. Cholesterol pills were part of my spasms and my heart doctor had no idea that long use of these pills will cause spasms. I monitor myself daily and my cholesterol blood tests are done every 3 months and is perfect and those spams are gone.

I took myself off of gabapentin cold turkey and it was hell. But I’m fine now. I kind of went off Effexor cold turkey and I’m experiencing muscle tightness especially when I watch the news. It actually hurts. I cry at a drop of a hat such as watching a movie musicals I love. My fingers get extremely dry. I have no mood swings or any kind of depression. The benefits are my weight lifting is improving and for the first time in 15 years FOOD TASTES WONDERFUL again. I never smoked, did drugs except for doctors orders or drank.

I do have one glass of wine, Great vitamins, mushrooms that grow on birch trees, iron and fish oil. As long as I’m in motion I feel wonderful. These tightness ache feeling is only at night.

I’m going for an acupuncture treatment tomorrow which I will run this by her. But can anyone tell me if they experienced this kind of cold turkey withdrawals from Effexor. Sorry for this long post. But your never to old to take back control of your life. I am very negative when it comes to doctors and I’m ashamed to say that I can be cruel with my tongue even with the new doctor that monitors me. Actually I have lost faith in Western Medicine and I do study Eastern Medicines. I feel like I’m 35 year old again except for these newest withdrawals. Thanks if I can get feedback. I’m gay, yes, but I follow the laws laid down by our creator Jehovah and his son Jesus.

@bootboyrick- Welcome to May Connect! I know that you have come to the right place! I'd like to tag: @coloradogirl; @nanke99; @parus ,@jimhd and @magspierce. They have experience with this. I am concerned that you wean yourself off so quickly with these chemicals. Tapering must be very very slow. Also you can go back and read comments in the Depression and anxiety group.
It sounds like the huge financial loss that you experienced my have set off PTSD. I have it and am taking Zoloft and Wellbutrin. But there are many more meds that can help.
I think that I read in your post that you are starting to get your life back and I applaud you for that! Have you considered therapy to help? I also take CBD oil when I need it for anxiety for my PTSD. Have you looked into this?