Hello @godsgiver Al! While I am sorry to learn of your father-in-law's health issues, I am glad to e-meet you here and pleased you found Connect! The isolation and challenges of caregiving are what led me to Connect some years ago. It was a godsend to me! Great to have you here!

My wife had brain cancer and I was her primary caregiver for all of her 14+ year war. Personally I can relate to your feelings you describe -- the bouts of anger too. I kept an old feather pillow in the living room and used it for punching many nights when the stress, repetition, etc. of the day-to-day got overwhelming! I was lucky I loved my wife so that made it easier and I cannot imagine what it must be like to add the extra burden of having no relationship with your patient on top of the grind of caregiving -- and it is definitely a grind!

I was glad to read you have the chance to get away every so often! I did not leave our home for the last seven years of my wife's illness and had no support structure from family, friends, or neighbors/church, etc. My wife was actually asked to leave our church due to her inability to stay for the full hour of Sunday service, which she was told 'you could if you just wanted to', but she couldn't. But I digress to my own wha, wha wha!

You will find many caregivers here, Al, who are willing to share, listen, and offer whatever support they might be able to!

I look forward to hearing more from you! BTW, I'm 66 and now widowed.

Strength, courage, and peace!