@noorlight I get what you're saying now.
Logistically, it could be complicated to do this without him finding out, some of it depends on your family situation.
You will have a 2-4 day evaluation to make sure you are eligible for surgery and to make sure you can lead a full, healthy life with 1 kidney. I don't remember anything painful but they are long days and you may want a support system to talk with about it before/after. You will need a caregiver to go with you to a couple of appointments right before the surgery and someone to be with you for few days after. You also won't be able to lift, push or pull more than 10# for a month afterwards. I believe the surgeries are scheduled together (across the hall, not the same room) or within a few hours of each other, so you may bump into each other at check in. Also, your dad may wonder why you aren't there when he's receiving a new kidney or recuperating.
The there's the $ part. His insurance covers medical but I think things like flight, hotel stays & missed wages come from the recipient.

Would a kidney donor chain work? It links up patients and willing donors and shuffles available kidneys around so that the recipient gets the best "fit". This is something you can do whether or not anyone one you know needs a kidney so it is technically independent of your dad.

I'm wondering if a Mayo nurse or social worker can help you figure this out. Your dad is trying to protect you and that is wonderful but maybe part of protecting you is allowing you to help him so he can be around for many more years?