@hopeful33250 You are so right. Poor choice of words on my part.

@parus No problem regarding choice of words - I know how hard you work at finding your way through! Teresa

I want OUT, not through...I have been through-ing all my life.

@mattie Same here and not sure I have the energy for through-ing or out.

Dear@parus, no judgeyness here. Yes, that is a word. I just made it up. Say what you feel. When we have stuffed our feelings for so long, or when we have shouted our feelings from the rooftops, and no one paid any attention, that was the beginning of our message to the world. Our mess becomes our message. Our worst pain becomes our mission in life to help others. Helping others helps us. Gratitude in every circumstance no matter how hard it is retrains our minds to look for the good. The bright and colorful. The beautiful. I saw an older man yesterday who had been on the brink of death. He left the hospital AMA, because he knew he wasn't getting the care he needed. So he called a friend of a friend, who works in the field where he is experiencing difficulties. His appointment is tomorrow with a specialist in the field. This humble man has not been forgotten. He reaches out all the time to help others. By your engaging all of us in conversation, about the things that matter most, you are not only helping yourself. You are blessing others. Namaste,
Mamacita

Dearest @mattie , I am afraid in my circumstances, I will only be "out" when the Kingdom comes, if you catch my drift. With my collection of ailments, I have been totally healed for a long period of time, then, the symptoms returned with a vengeance. Yet, at the same time I was pressing my Specialist for some much needed pain relief, the mere changing of my diet and taking certain supplements was just as effective as the medicine he at long last prescribed. I am rarely without pain of some sort. But it keeps me on my toes. One day is not like another. This has been a very long road, a difficult journey. But, oh, the joy. The blessings. You will find your way out, or through it. One way or another things will work for your good. Answers will be found. In the meantime, know that you have a tribe. We care about you. And we are better together. Peace and joy,
Mamacita

You are a Godsend.

Dear @mattie love, the God who pushes me out of my chair and says go, the Spirit who whispers in my soul, "Speak to that person over there!"......the Redeemer who pulled me out of the pit of despair so many times I have long ago lost count, is the lover of all souls. There is no one that is far from His reach. He's really not that complicated. In the movie, the Shack, He is called Papa and is played by a black woman. Now, that may sound pretty complicated, but here's what I personally get out of it. Again, I respect all religions. I can find connections where there seems to be none. Correction: I respect everyone's right to their own religion, or the lack thereof. We can get along no matter what. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. They have said in times past that God is love So even if we have never had any spiritual or faith connection whatsoever, if we show love to one another we open ourselves up for the God who many call the Creator to come close to the door to our hearts. Wow! That's a mouthful. Faith can't be put in a box. Neither can people. We are all different. But we all matter. We all count. There's a reason for our being here. Love and peace,
Mamacita

Teresa, thanks for your response. We did do a DNA test for meds. Effexor and Cymbalta turned up. Effexor caused my cholesterol to raise up and I had some bad side effects with Cymbalta. I was only on it for a few weeks and coming off it was very hard. I had a hard time weaning off this med. I would never take it again.

You sound like a wonderful, caring person, who truly listens.
I'm VERY much in need of someone like you who understands depression.
I am at my wits end with the withdrawals from Effexor. My whole body, mind, and soul hurt.