Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor,
Can I adopt you?
Your words are like a soothing balm to my raggedy old soul. I have been in Autistic Burn Out for quite some time. My brother John tried to warn me. He kept telling me to slow down, when ALL I could do was advocate, pray, cry, and cry again.

All the feels. The heartbreak, sadness, turmoil, rejection, of masses fell upon me. And I grieved for them. I felt....what....they...felt.
And I gave them what I needed when I was in their shoes. I will never stop as long as I have breath.

Yet somehow I must learn to release all of that energy so that it does not consume me. My blood pressure was stroke level last week. All because I had to meet and be interviewed by a new counselor I had never met before, in a place I had never been before. I felt like an insect under a microscope. I was terrified.

Yet somehow I had to "mask" enough to get through the interview, because I was beginning to believe that my unmedicated ADHD was the root cause of my meltdowns. The crying at commercials. The nightmares. The loneliness. The depression. I had to see a Psychiatrist in order to be properly treated. My PCP was concerned for me. Was this some type of mood disorder?

I'm too old for all of this. Whatever is at the bottom of this, I surrender. I give up. I'll take the labels, if that's what it takes to feel better. To get better. To BE better. I am not used to putting myself first and it is uncomfortable. Maybe I will have to go on a different med for ADHD. One that won't raise my blood pressure.

Autism in women is not a " thing" here in the South. That one thing right there is enough of a challenge to deal with. I have hope, though. She is Native American, and her office was so welcoming and soothing. She even had a therapy dog. She appears to be open minded, open to Alternative Medicine. I hope she is open minded. I haven t had to prove I was Autistic in a long time.

Thanks for letting me lean on you guys a little bit. This doesn't get any easier.

Love and light, always, my loves,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita
Bless you, Jane! You've obviously been through some tough times and it has harmed you. I'm so sorry for the pain you have experienced! Please know that here on Connect you have a loving online family and we will always be here to cheer you on and to lift you up!

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I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

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I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

Jump to this post

I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

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Mammacita I have growled at you for being a very very bad sister and ignoring your blood pressure and I am aware of the hassles of talking to a complete stranger in a doctor of what you have been thru feelings anxieties and behavioral have been there last September 2018 .when I tried to commit suicide and was toped and couldn't by a force .
To then talk to a psychiatrist was extraordinarily hard and all my feelings its hard but the joy having unburdened has been wonderful and people to actually listen too me .because I was even ignored and told to wrack off by supposed Autistic friends in Australia .dear dearest sis step back chat to us and says helloos medication take a while to get to a clinical level for your physiology .loves you and lubs you
by the way I will growls and mieows even louder if you don't rest and love yourself for awhile

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@sirgalahad , @lioness, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Happy Taco Tuesday!

Or whatever it is that anyone celebrates today! For us, at our house, it is NCIS night. First, the original, at 7pm. Then at 9pm, NCIS New Orleans. With a house full of introverts, this is as close as we get to a family reunion.
Autistic burnout.
I haven't checked to see what the definition is. But I feel it. I am climbing out of it. Slowly but surely.

When everything is just too much.
Every.
Little.
Thing.
So much so that you want to do absolutely nothing.

But then when you do absolutely nothing, you become overwhelmed.
Because you feel intensely the sadness of it all.
It feels as if your life is just drifting away.

You need grounding.
You need good self care.
You need friends to love on you and remind you of your worth.
You need good food and music.
You need puppies to cuddle and birds singing.
You need space and time.
You need candles and flowers.
You need poetry and books.

For those who read this, know that you are loved. You are worth it. Take all the time you need.

Preaching to myself here!

Everyone have a restful weekend coming up. Lots of activities going on. Don't overdo it. Yes, I know it is only Tuesday.

But I get ready for the weekend starting on Saturday night!

Take good care, me lovelies. Enjoy today, whatever it brings you. Remember that you are a human being and not a human doing. What is in your heart is what counts.

Mamacita Jane

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@sirgalahad , @lioness, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Happy Taco Tuesday!

Or whatever it is that anyone celebrates today! For us, at our house, it is NCIS night. First, the original, at 7pm. Then at 9pm, NCIS New Orleans. With a house full of introverts, this is as close as we get to a family reunion.
Autistic burnout.
I haven't checked to see what the definition is. But I feel it. I am climbing out of it. Slowly but surely.

When everything is just too much.
Every.
Little.
Thing.
So much so that you want to do absolutely nothing.

But then when you do absolutely nothing, you become overwhelmed.
Because you feel intensely the sadness of it all.
It feels as if your life is just drifting away.

You need grounding.
You need good self care.
You need friends to love on you and remind you of your worth.
You need good food and music.
You need puppies to cuddle and birds singing.
You need space and time.
You need candles and flowers.
You need poetry and books.

For those who read this, know that you are loved. You are worth it. Take all the time you need.

Preaching to myself here!

Everyone have a restful weekend coming up. Lots of activities going on. Don't overdo it. Yes, I know it is only Tuesday.

But I get ready for the weekend starting on Saturday night!

Take good care, me lovelies. Enjoy today, whatever it brings you. Remember that you are a human being and not a human doing. What is in your heart is what counts.

Mamacita Jane

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