Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

Gail Benson Ledesma , Alumni Mentor | @gailb | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @mjsmimi "Hello All, Thank You for all your comments and concerns. I need to stop second guessing..." + (show)

@mjsmimi

Hello All,

Thank You for all your comments and concerns. I need to stop second guessing myself here, you are all correct. He is sick and perverted. He puts tape recorders hidden when he is not here. He sais I should watch him have sex with wife of whomever I have "cheated" with for pay back!! That comment there really opened my eyes. HE IS SICK and PERVERTED!!! He comments on the way young girls look up to him. I have seen the way his tone changes when he talks to them. At first I thought it was my paranoid jealous imagination. Now I am not so sure, I do see his understanding nature and how the world of child molesters makes him sick and he feels the need to" protect"

I know this is way off me situation here, but I think this is important to get off my chest and help me cope.
I am starting to see the things he claims to make him a" good guy" are sickening. ( I feel extremely sharp today, maybe my brain awake supplements are helping) I really feel bad for his ex wife. He has made me believe she was this cheating, sick person who plays window games and runs to neighbors for attention etc. Well hell, he accuses me of the same thing and it is all FALSE. I now don't believe what he has told me about her, that part anyway. Yes, I believe she sent kids to school without making them brush teeth, clean clothing, homework, etc. (To long of a list to go through, I have my own issues with this sick person.) Yes, that I saw. ( what the hell did he expect she was 19 and he was 31 when they met. He wasn't thinking with his mind if you get my drift.)
I think that is why his youngest is with us. I walk her through the whole health hygiene process.. She for some reason is not afraid of him (this is what I see now with the other two). I however do not feel safe. He has bashed in an ex girlfriends face (so he said) His ex wife called the cops on him 6 times. I am now seeing why he reached for me. Damn I am stupid as shit. He is right about that!
I questioned why my son won't let my granddaughter come here and spend the night. He must feel that. Thank goodness for that. But to my BF he thinks my son is a spoiled middle class brat. (OMG, the lightbulb just went off) He hates middle class families. I was one, but we worked damn hard for it!!! he came from poor, mental illness, alcohol, family, His mom went mental when he was 9, she walked away with a shopping cart. He repeats what he has gone through over and over to try to manipulate me? (He told his daughter this morning that I am out of commission?? and from what I saw scared her this am about something before school.) It has been working,. Not today!!! I am shutting down the sympathy for him. No more dude. I know I am rambling on and on here. Wow, it took effexor detox to make me realize this??? I want to slap the crap out of the pharmaceutical companies if there is any truth to that....
I need to stop for now.

I know he is no good for me!! I dont want nor do I want someone else to be a statistic. He can keep thinking he is good looking (of course he is) and that everyone wants a piece of his poison. Go for it dude. I want no part!!!!

My brain is going way to fast, I need to stop relax, go back to my gardening for therepy for about an hour then pick back up with my thoughts.

@Thank You everyone for all your posts and advice!!! I need this! Soo bad. I don't know how to convey to you how much better and stronger I feel today. I finally feel like I am not crazy and someone out there believes me. Thank You! I know it is going to be a long road. Please keep the advice coming. I am taking it all in....

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@mjsmimi

Has your doctor prescribed any other medications to help ease your Effexor withdrawal? You may want ask about switching to/adding another antidepressant or even CBD/THC combination if it's legal in your state. Having your mind racing isn't helpful for you right now. Talk with your mental health practitioner about getting some help for now when you are under so much stress.

Second, I keep wondering about his daughter. How old is she, and are you concerned about her mental and physical health? If you have Any suspicions or hunches that things are not as they should be, please talk with someone in your area about your concerns; I would start with your therapist. Often children in distress are not noticed until some horror reveals their problem. Based on your own experiences as an adult, and the lies he tells her, she may be completely confused about reality. You may be able to help her whill youare helping yourself. .

Gail Benson Ledesma , Alumni Mentor | @gailb | Oct 11, 2018

@mjsmimi

Yes, leave as soon as possible. Go to a women's shelter, hospital or police station. You need help and his daughter does as well. Don't even take anything with you except your medication.

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @mjsmimi "Back to thinking... effexor is the least of my problems at this point. I was just..." + (show)

@mjsmimi follow your gut! Get out of there! Your soul is telling you the right thing. You are in danger, both physically mentally and emotionally. Like @gailb said, take your meds with you. Don't worry about anything else; it will all be provided. Please let us know keep us in the loop.
Ginger

Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @mamacita "RESOURCE: Samantha Craft, the author of Everyday Aspergers, recently shared this on her Facebook page: "I..." + (show)

Hi @mamacita, At first your message confused me, but I did some digging around and now I understand. Your message above was a copy and paste from Samantha Craft's facebook post here: https://bit.ly/2EfBKHC

The way I read your message at first was that you would be hosting peer mentoring, but it is Samantha who is offering this service and you are sharing it with the group. Got it. I LOVE that you are taking on a special role here. Because you are connected in many different places, you're bringing select resources, tips and information into the autie group here on Connect. Wonderful. I have a special name for that super power. You are a Cross-Pollinator or a Bumble Bee if you'd like a prettier image. Like a bee you carry pollen from one place to another and the results bear fruit.

Thank you!

mjsmimi | @mjsmimi | Oct 11, 2018

@@@Oh Dear, Sometimes there is no explanation for things... BF mom just had a stroke. He is on his way 1.5 hrs away. I am here with his daughter. I am hoping this ends better than I expect She is the only semi sane relative he has. I am going to explain to her not in so many words I will be leaving this time for sure. She can visit, she is going to want to see our puppy. She will be coming with me. Dad and her can stay in the house until they find somewhere to live. This is extremely complicated. We work together also. I can't even begin to figure out all of this. Or even think about it. He calls me a"runner". Well buddy I have good reason to run and should have the first time I threatened to do so.
Only then will I come back and proceed to sell this place and get the heck away from this area entirely.
I will be here with his daughter until he returns. Could be several hours. I am lining up a rental car to pick me up in the morning. He has my truck, he can keep until I am away and safe. I am watching my back..

This seems really insignificant incident this afternoon while picking up his daughter but maybe not?? I saw a blue jay bullying a circle of little birds, I made the comment about the blue jay being a bully. BF proceeds to ask "Are you the little birds or the bully?" "You don't even know do you" Then we almost ran in the back of someone. The guy is pissed at BF and staring. All BF can do is shout "I am a good person you F with me I'm coming after you. You will pay" Why am I only now reading and hearing through all these phrases now? He has been like this.... It's like my eyes just opened a few days ago.
Yes, my husband may be here steering me in the right direction... I know he loved me. As I did him, He was a good man.,He always called me naive and would say "You can't help everybody, you cant save the world." I get the message now?? Really? Talk about a delayed reaction. Geez, I have to smile or lose it.....God Love Him!

I called my doctor to lengthen the taper. I have been taking half of the 25 mg. every other day. So I am 25mg 12.5mg then 25mg...... so on. .I need to keep this straight head right now. I also take hemp oil, the real is not legal here. It seems to be helping along with the vitamins. I may need something more during all this. Hopefully not. I will keep posted. Trying to stay as strong and level headed as I can.

Thank You, Thank You

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @colleenyoung "Hi @mamacita, At first your message confused me, but I did some digging around and now..." + (show)

Ms Colleen, may I say that you are a wonderful boss. Probably one of The absolute best I have ever had.

Your way with words and the heart behind them are a balm to this Autie person's soul. And I am not exaggerating when I say this. Allow me to share this Autie's experience for a moment.

For me, as an adult on the Autism Spectrum, there are times when it is difficult for me to communicate. To find the words, to say things in the "correct" way. I do fall short, and yes, it does bother me some. But I have been married to my wonderful husband for 44 years this November. We still work on communication. We still misunderstand each other from time to time. But we don't throw in the towel.

We just stop and laugh, and say" ok , here we go again, Autism." And we keep trying. One mistake is not the end of the world. I frequently have to talk myself down from the comical 12th story ledge where some sweet, bumbling, not so typical character in a sit-com despairs of ever finding "normal." His caring, Neurotypical friends pull him in from the ledge, finally. They tell him he is not a failure, all is not lost. He is accepted, warts and all.

We Auties feel very deeply. If we make a mistake, we take it to heart. We agonize over how we could have done "it" better. We replay the scenes over and over in a never ending loop until we fall asleep, praying for all our loved ones and for us to not, please God, have those nightmares tonight.

All this, and I am not ignorant of coping skills one uses in various demanding situations. Life is interesting to say the least. Not everyone on the Spectum has these issues. Some are, unfortunately, way worse. But that is for another time. Another place.

I have taken your good advice and I am perfectly content and at peace with all that has transpired this week. The "ledge" is only an exerpt from one script of my life, and it has never been a real ledge. I love life too much to ever, ever do anything to diminish this gift we all have been given! You understand, I think.

I am like the proverbial goose who wakes up to a brand new world every morning. All of this to say thank you for being you, dear Ms Colleen.

Pug hugs and good night,
Mamacita (Jane)

stlouisgmajenn | @stlouisgmajenn | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @mjsmimi "Hello All, Thank You for all your comments and concerns. I need to stop second guessing..." + (show)

@mjsmimi

Hello All,

My brain is going way to fast, I need to stop relax, go back to my gardening for therepy for about an hour then pick back up with my thoughts.

Jump to this post

Sweetheart, trust your gut. And feel the angels hugging you while you take action, corrective action. I've been stupid, ignorant. Unlearned. But I've learned. Oh yeah, I've learned. And the angels protected me. I still have a home, a safe place. A safe place because I pay my bills, give to others less fortunate, and am grateful. Grateful that I have a safe place to sleep, plenty of food that I have paid 4, cats to hug,

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @mjsmimi "@@@Oh Dear, Sometimes there is no explanation for things... BF mom just had a stroke. He..." + (show)

@mjsmimi

Thank You, Thank You

Jump to this post

You are doing the right thing. Get out. Have your phone charged, your meds in zip lock bags inside your purse.

If it was me, there would be not a chance in purgatory that I would be there when he returns. Call Child protective services. She is in danger. You can't leave her but you and her together can get to the police. Do what you have to do. Get a restraining ordet. Go to a women and children's shelter. The police know what to do for you.

This is so complicated because of so many levels. CPS will want names, address, phone numbers of sane, responsible family who can take her in. If there is no one, she may go to a girls home on a temporary basis. She may go into foster care
But her life and yours are in the most extreme danger there could ever possibly be.

My daughter still cries over her best friend who was beaten to death by her husband . He had been released from prison and everything seemed to be going fine.

But he came home one night from work. No one knows exactly what happened. But he has been charged with her death. This woman was a caring, loving friend to my disabled daughter. She was a kind friend to me.

Please, please, please get out of there now with your young teen, and get to the police station. Life is worth living. Don't take any chances. If you must, show your posts in your phone to the officer in charge. This is hard. Be safe. We care about you.

Mamacita

sirgalahad | @sirgalahad | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @mamacita "You are doing the right thing. Get out. Have your phone charged, your meds in zip..." + (show)

definetly do this leave to protect both of you

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 11, 2018

In reply to @stlouisgmajenn "Sweetheart, trust your gut. And feel the angels hugging you while you take action, corrective action...." + (show)

Love you, brother. Thank you for your kind heart.

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