@littleonefmohio -- you know, breaking the chain of being a yelling household is a great thing -- kudos to you for all your efforts toward that. My parents were both yellers, and my husband did not grow up in a family like that. When we were first married, he would tell me he'd be happy to talk about X when I would stop raising my voice. It kind of stunned me, but I quickly realized that we'd have much less drama and more calm in our house if we did not communicate through yelling. In our 14 years of marriage, yelling has been a real rarity, and that's been a huge blessing.
How do you deal with it now if others yell or talk loudly? Does that come up with relatives, friends, watching sports events?
The only way I can deal with yelling is to stay a way from others. Yelling sends me into a panic and a dark place. I am still working on not feeling like everything is my fault when others yell. Intellectually I know the yelling is not my fault, but the fear and guilt take over then the fear. thankful for my woman's cave. I can always go to my bedroom, turn the fan on high and escape the yelling. I am too sensitive is what I have been told. Maybe so.
Good Morning everyone. I have not tried anything else yet as money was an issue. I did start taking a senior multi vitamin. Prayers for all of you. The weather has been up and down here and rainy so my pain has taken over. I quit taking the patch and back smoking again which I hate to admit. I will start the patch again on May 1st. I WILL beat this smoking crap! I get upset at these tobacco companies now that I know what they did to us smokers. Making it more addicting and harder to quit. Of course they never told me to start so not all their fault. My panic attacks have slowed down quite a bit. I think it is because some of the stress I deal with is gone and the other stress I deal with has been calmer than normal but I know that one is always around and will rear its ugly head again. I cannot deal with people yelling or talking in loud voices. I know it has to do with my parents constantly yelling and fighting with each other and the abuse that happened because of it. I have never been a person to yell because I told myself when I was quite young I would never act like that and I don't. That might be one of my triggers is that and I hold it all in. I know that is why I smoke. No stress would be wonderful! God Bless.
Teresa, I didn't grow up with any yelling at all. It was the opposite. My parents were quiet. I had no siblings. I believe part of my problem is I love quiet and am a loner. I become overly excited in a crowd and especially if it is noisy. I love people, but have to accept my limits.
Good Morning everyone. I have not tried anything else yet as money was an issue. I did start taking a senior multi vitamin. Prayers for all of you. The weather has been up and down here and rainy so my pain has taken over. I quit taking the patch and back smoking again which I hate to admit. I will start the patch again on May 1st. I WILL beat this smoking crap! I get upset at these tobacco companies now that I know what they did to us smokers. Making it more addicting and harder to quit. Of course they never told me to start so not all their fault. My panic attacks have slowed down quite a bit. I think it is because some of the stress I deal with is gone and the other stress I deal with has been calmer than normal but I know that one is always around and will rear its ugly head again. I cannot deal with people yelling or talking in loud voices. I know it has to do with my parents constantly yelling and fighting with each other and the abuse that happened because of it. I have never been a person to yell because I told myself when I was quite young I would never act like that and I don't. That might be one of my triggers is that and I hold it all in. I know that is why I smoke. No stress would be wonderful! God Bless.
Good Morning everyone. I have not tried anything else yet as money was an issue. I did start taking a senior multi vitamin. Prayers for all of you. The weather has been up and down here and rainy so my pain has taken over. I quit taking the patch and back smoking again which I hate to admit. I will start the patch again on May 1st. I WILL beat this smoking crap! I get upset at these tobacco companies now that I know what they did to us smokers. Making it more addicting and harder to quit. Of course they never told me to start so not all their fault. My panic attacks have slowed down quite a bit. I think it is because some of the stress I deal with is gone and the other stress I deal with has been calmer than normal but I know that one is always around and will rear its ugly head again. I cannot deal with people yelling or talking in loud voices. I know it has to do with my parents constantly yelling and fighting with each other and the abuse that happened because of it. I have never been a person to yell because I told myself when I was quite young I would never act like that and I don't. That might be one of my triggers is that and I hold it all in. I know that is why I smoke. No stress would be wonderful! God Bless.
Good Morning everyone. I have not tried anything else yet as money was an issue. I did start taking a senior multi vitamin. Prayers for all of you. The weather has been up and down here and rainy so my pain has taken over. I quit taking the patch and back smoking again which I hate to admit. I will start the patch again on May 1st. I WILL beat this smoking crap! I get upset at these tobacco companies now that I know what they did to us smokers. Making it more addicting and harder to quit. Of course they never told me to start so not all their fault. My panic attacks have slowed down quite a bit. I think it is because some of the stress I deal with is gone and the other stress I deal with has been calmer than normal but I know that one is always around and will rear its ugly head again. I cannot deal with people yelling or talking in loud voices. I know it has to do with my parents constantly yelling and fighting with each other and the abuse that happened because of it. I have never been a person to yell because I told myself when I was quite young I would never act like that and I don't. That might be one of my triggers is that and I hold it all in. I know that is why I smoke. No stress would be wonderful! God Bless.
I love the peace and quiet in my own home. I do go out each day and I believe this is good for me, but I'm the most content reading, interacting with others in online games, and being part of groups that I can feel a part of. Having a church home and family is an amazing and helpful part of my life. I also try to stay interested in a couple of hobbies. I did not learn myself until my later years. Sad, but true. I wasted a lot of years caring about the wrong things. I'm thankful I've been granted the years to find peace.
This is Gail and I'm a Volunteer Mentor on Mayo Connect. As such, I am not a medical professional and can only offer my experience and support. I too, have had panic attacks and anxiety similar to those discussedhere. One thing I learned was that I had to find my own internal power when dealing with people who yell, particularly when men yell. I have a hunch that women fearing men who are visibly upset and yelling is a natural self - preservation response. Men are usually much larger and more physical than women.
In my case, I had to learn how to express my own anger in a safe place. I worked with my therapist who had me hit pillows or a bean bag chair with both my fists and repeat over and over, "I hate you for ____________, I resent you for_______________!". During this experience I kept my eyes closed and as I began to get into the process, the face of someone in my life would become obvious and I could express my feelings of anger for that person. It took me a few sessions to be able to hit hard enough to really feel my anger because I was afraid my entire life that if I ever let my anger out, it would be as strong and destructive as an F5 tornado. Of course my anger, though deep and strong, was never at that level nor was it destructive. I was always exhausted after my anger sessions, but I felt better and better over time. After getting a lot of old anger out, there was room inside me to be able to listen to others and not be in fear of their anger most of the time.
As I got better, I learned how to express my anger in an assertive (rather than aggressive) way by using what is known as the DESC Script. The link to information on this is: https://www2.fgcu.edu>files>D.E.S.C. If this link doesn't work, just Google, The DESC Script, and several links will be presented. Using the format has helped me immensely over the years to avoid escalating problems and assuring that people treat me with respect. Of course, not being perfect, I don't always stop and use the DESC Script in time to avoid an argument. When I do use it, things calm down right away which helps my anxiety level.
I have written on other threads about additional techniques I have used for reducing my panic attacks using breathing. I had a huge reduction in panic and anxiety attacks after I began taking Citalopram about 6 years ago. I recognize that not everyone has the same reaction to this antidepressant, so having alternatives is helpful. I also took Lorazapam 1 mg., previously when I had to fly or take car trips that were difficult for me, i.e. to Yosemite National Park with it's (literally) breathtaking views on mountain roads. I never used it on a daily basis, only when I really needed it, so I had no addiction issues with it.
As you may read on other threads, I also use CBD for anxiety and pain. When I was withdrawing from Tramadol 50 mg, I used CBD to help me deal with the anxiety I experienced as I wound down to the end. I was surprised at the calming effect it had without making me high. I had tried marijuana before, but I am very sensitive to it and I don't like feeling high. There was no high with the CBD. I saw that the FDA has now approved CBD for use as a medication for epileptic seizures. A recent study proved that it works for reducing seizures. I use 6 mg. for anxiety. You have to experiment to determine how much works for you. It can take up to 2+hours to take effect. It took 1 hour for me to notice the relaxation.
I think the hardest part of this is the anxiety of things like....are the antibiotics working.....will my next CT be better or worse....any new ache or pain is made a big deal.....will I start having side effects from the meds soon...... on and on. I am fearful of having my next CT and then going to the pulmonologist. I can tell by his face when he walks in the door if things are better or worse. That is the part I am dreading. I have my next CT after 6 month of antibiotics the end of the month. I am not able to get a good sputum sample. I just dread going in but am hoping for at least stable and Improved with would be great. It seems I am so used to getting not great news I find it hard to keep trying to be positive. I feel like this occupies my mind all day long.
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The only way I can deal with yelling is to stay a way from others. Yelling sends me into a panic and a dark place. I am still working on not feeling like everything is my fault when others yell. Intellectually I know the yelling is not my fault, but the fear and guilt take over then the fear. thankful for my woman's cave. I can always go to my bedroom, turn the fan on high and escape the yelling. I am too sensitive is what I have been told. Maybe so.
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4 ReactionsBeing over sensitive can cause us a lot of grief in a number of ways. Having a quiet place to go to is a blessing.
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4 Reactions@parus
It certainly is not your fault! We can never be too-sensitive when aggression is going on. You are right-on!
Teresa
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3 ReactionsTeresa, I didn't grow up with any yelling at all. It was the opposite. My parents were quiet. I had no siblings. I believe part of my problem is I love quiet and am a loner. I become overly excited in a crowd and especially if it is noisy. I love people, but have to accept my limits.
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1 Reaction@liz223
Yes, I understand. Quietness has its own rewards and challenges, doesn't it?
Teresa
@liz223 -- sounds like you really know yourself and your personal limits. That is very admirable.
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1 ReactionI love the peace and quiet in my own home. I do go out each day and I believe this is good for me, but I'm the most content reading, interacting with others in online games, and being part of groups that I can feel a part of. Having a church home and family is an amazing and helpful part of my life. I also try to stay interested in a couple of hobbies. I did not learn myself until my later years. Sad, but true. I wasted a lot of years caring about the wrong things. I'm thankful I've been granted the years to find peace.
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Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsThis is Gail and I'm a Volunteer Mentor on Mayo Connect. As such, I am not a medical professional and can only offer my experience and support. I too, have had panic attacks and anxiety similar to those discussedhere. One thing I learned was that I had to find my own internal power when dealing with people who yell, particularly when men yell. I have a hunch that women fearing men who are visibly upset and yelling is a natural self - preservation response. Men are usually much larger and more physical than women.
In my case, I had to learn how to express my own anger in a safe place. I worked with my therapist who had me hit pillows or a bean bag chair with both my fists and repeat over and over, "I hate you for ____________, I resent you for_______________!". During this experience I kept my eyes closed and as I began to get into the process, the face of someone in my life would become obvious and I could express my feelings of anger for that person. It took me a few sessions to be able to hit hard enough to really feel my anger because I was afraid my entire life that if I ever let my anger out, it would be as strong and destructive as an F5 tornado. Of course my anger, though deep and strong, was never at that level nor was it destructive. I was always exhausted after my anger sessions, but I felt better and better over time. After getting a lot of old anger out, there was room inside me to be able to listen to others and not be in fear of their anger most of the time.
As I got better, I learned how to express my anger in an assertive (rather than aggressive) way by using what is known as the DESC Script. The link to information on this is: https://www2.fgcu.edu>files>D.E.S.C. If this link doesn't work, just Google, The DESC Script, and several links will be presented. Using the format has helped me immensely over the years to avoid escalating problems and assuring that people treat me with respect. Of course, not being perfect, I don't always stop and use the DESC Script in time to avoid an argument. When I do use it, things calm down right away which helps my anxiety level.
I have written on other threads about additional techniques I have used for reducing my panic attacks using breathing. I had a huge reduction in panic and anxiety attacks after I began taking Citalopram about 6 years ago. I recognize that not everyone has the same reaction to this antidepressant, so having alternatives is helpful. I also took Lorazapam 1 mg., previously when I had to fly or take car trips that were difficult for me, i.e. to Yosemite National Park with it's (literally) breathtaking views on mountain roads. I never used it on a daily basis, only when I really needed it, so I had no addiction issues with it.
As you may read on other threads, I also use CBD for anxiety and pain. When I was withdrawing from Tramadol 50 mg, I used CBD to help me deal with the anxiety I experienced as I wound down to the end. I was surprised at the calming effect it had without making me high. I had tried marijuana before, but I am very sensitive to it and I don't like feeling high. There was no high with the CBD. I saw that the FDA has now approved CBD for use as a medication for epileptic seizures. A recent study proved that it works for reducing seizures. I use 6 mg. for anxiety. You have to experiment to determine how much works for you. It can take up to 2+hours to take effect. It took 1 hour for me to notice the relaxation.
Good luck everyone.
Gail
Volunteer Mentor
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3 ReactionsI think the hardest part of this is the anxiety of things like....are the antibiotics working.....will my next CT be better or worse....any new ache or pain is made a big deal.....will I start having side effects from the meds soon...... on and on. I am fearful of having my next CT and then going to the pulmonologist. I can tell by his face when he walks in the door if things are better or worse. That is the part I am dreading. I have my next CT after 6 month of antibiotics the end of the month. I am not able to get a good sputum sample. I just dread going in but am hoping for at least stable and Improved with would be great. It seems I am so used to getting not great news I find it hard to keep trying to be positive. I feel like this occupies my mind all day long.
I am not familiar with any o/c remedies. Can anyone tell me what they are please.