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~ Fearful in my Apartment Complex ~
As many of you know, about 2 years ago I moved from MD to VA to half a duplex. Hated the town I was in and $$ was going down quickly, so I moved about a year ago to a low-income apartment complex. Now, please, please don't think I'm feeling like I'm better than these folks, because I realize that in God's eyes we're all the same. There are so many problems in just my building, and I'm sure the others also, that it's very upsetting. Children run random like wild animals, jumping up and down on the A/C unit, run through the hallways screaming all hours of the night and day, and the older kids try to aim directly for us when they're on their bikes. Every Sat. PM, there's a real drug-fest in the building across from me, and the other night I was awakened by the sound of a gun. The management knows all of this, but seems to be helpless to do anything. Also, there's a police officer living in my building, but I guess when he's off, he really is off. Can't say I blame him. Often there are 4 police cars out front hauling someone away ..... a drunk, drug addict, or the woman downstairs who is schizophrenic and not taking her meds. There are people here, very elderly and frail who seem to have no one checking in on them, so I've been doing that weekly, a 36 year old woman who has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. The other night I had a knock on the door for me to take a young girl to the ER ... chest pains ... they should have called the ambulance, but "no" they didn't want to. So I stupidly took her, plus 4 other people. There's a guy here that is in and out of jail, going from friend to friend .... his family kicked him out. So, now, I pretty much stay in my bedroom, on the far end of my apt. I make my dinner and come back here. I have my door locked, a deadbolt, and a heavy metal thick rod that goes under my door knob, and as soon as I eat dinner, it's lights out except for back here. Even with my meds., my anxiety is through the roof, and I've had to take melatonin to sleep. When I try to tell my kids about it, they chuckle and say, "oh, wow, that's funny." No, it's not funny at all. I'd rather just go to sleep and not wake up than live with this fear.
Why oh why did I ever move from MD? It was a huge mistake, but it's too late now.
abby
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@gman007 Ain't it the truth?!...
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1 ReactionYou said it parus ..... alone IS better than abuse. I was not raised in a "religious" home at all and only became a Christian when I was 24 and out of the house. This sounds really awful, but I think my parent's church was a bar!
abby
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2 ReactionsHi akirelan .... Actually when I moved to VA I was farther out, but those prices were higher because a large college is there. And, they didn't have any low-income housing which is what I needed.
abby
@amberpep It does not sound awful. My mother's church was a church. In some instances I believe they are one and the same. Waiting for a lightening bolt to strike me dead for stating thus. I am not religious (man-made) although I am spiritual. I do no know how a mother could be so mean and appear blue-pure perfect when not at home.
That is all-bp on the rise.
@amberpep
I've seen this same type of behavior in people as well. My thought is that a lot of people are so into addictions that their perspective towards their life and those of their children are seriously impaired They are just to "cloudy" to see beyond themselves.
Teresa
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1 ReactionI am sorry you know as much as you do about abuse, but your honesty and opening up can make it easier for other's to understand, empathize, and respect! I have a number of issues, but I can't imagine how my brain would operate if I also had that in my past. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable. I usually have 3-4 books going at once and one of the ones I am reading currently is "Religiously Transmitted Diseases; finding a cure when faith doesn't feel right" - Ed Gungor
I am very sorry to hear your story. I am a little surprised by the response of your children, but then I do not know their ages, circumstances, etc. When my own mother was still alive, I tended to any unpleasant issue that arose, and would have it no other way. I hope you do not have to go out into the community with all of those things going on. Are there things to enjoy inside your apartment....crafts, reading, music, etc.....that might distract you from the fearful activities outside? Are the elderly folks you check on able to play games and chat? Do your children help you shop, so that they might be able to take you to the library or a book store to pass some of the time? Are you able at all to do some volunteer work away from your complex? Maybe at a hospital, so that it is not too taxing? Without knowing you, it is hard to be of assistance, but can you check with Social Services to see if there might be alternative locations you could try? I wish you the very best of luck. May God bless you. Joyce
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3 ReactionsHi jocephus ..... one of my kids - the oldest (45) is just like that .... much like her Dad. The middle child (43) has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone, and my son, the youngest - 34 is about 2-1/2 hours away so I don\'t see him too often. I drive and have my own SUV and do everything myself .... I don\'t need their help, but I make absolutely sure I am home well before dark. Then I make dinner, turn out all the lights and head to my bedroom to eat, watch TV or read. If my oldest daughter was living like this, she\'d be out of here in a snap!
abby