Are there any other pre-liver transplant caregivers out there?
Hi,
I'm JoDee and my husband is on the registry waiting for a liver transplant. I'm feeling stressed and would love to have someone to talk to that gets what is going on with us. We live 5 hours from Rochester, so I can't attend any of the support groups there and there aren't any near us. Any suggestions?
Thank you!
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Transplants Support Group.
@beckyjohnson You can just show up at the transplant support groups. Ask at the info desk for the location. At the Florida Mayo, it is in the Mayo Building, I believe it is on the second floor in a conference room. Thank you for your kind words. I am trying my best to hang onto my lungs and avoid a transplant.
@windwalker Thank you for sharing that. I'm planning on going there June 25th - 28th. In addition to transplant testing I'm hoping to tour Gabriel House, visit a support group (more if possible) and of course do some siteseeing. You are quite welcome. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. It is both a blessing & curse to be so open & honest. The curse: some people take this the wrong way; The blessing: there is never any doubt about where I stand; fun tip: we are all guilty of changing our mind about something for some reason or another
@beckyjohnson as a bumper sticker says, “Always remember, you’re Unique, just like everybody else”.
JK
@myson I hope your son's wait will be on the shorter end of that, the wait can be wearying. As I progressed through the process, and with my condition slowly declining, I was kept abreast of how long it would be with fairly decent accuracy which I think helps, having some idea of when things will happen. I think maybe that is more possible with livers. I also had my bag packed long before I expected the call to come.
The whole process is definitely a bit intimidating but by the time the call came to get to the hospital, my husband and I were perfectly calm, and happy that we would be seeing an end to what I went through, mostly in those last six weeks. Even now when I think of everything I get tears in my eyes. The whole thing is so surreal to me.
Enjoy your trip "northwest'. You are going there for three years? I see from your info that you live in SC. I think we will be going there in the fall, I have wanted to go to Charleston for a long time. Interestingly my son's gf comes from SC also, but not close to Charleston.
JK
We visited our son this past Fathers Day weekend. So great to see him and talk/spend time together. He told us that after being #2 on the Mayo List for transplant, he was moved to #4. This did not please me but I understand it. We look forward now to his next checkup on July 16. He seems to be a bit weary and for good reason. The constant coughing (which seems worse) and his desire to act "normal" are taking a bit of a toll. When we are out in public, even a neighborhood cookout, he does not use the oxygen because he doesn't want others to see him and know he's sick. I asked him several times to wear his portable unit but he said "I'm fine." On a positive note, however, I did over-hear him speaking with one of his neighbor fellows and talking openly about his issue; even answering questions. This was good. When we drive home (just less than 3 hrs) we don't speak....kinda weird. We seem to absorb it all and talk the next day (my husband and I). We worry so much.
@myson
Your Fathers Day weekend sounds like it was 'just what the doctor ordered'! I am happy that you are feeling some understanding for what he is thinking and feeling.
I remember when I tried to act 'normal' even when my liver symptoms were beginning to bother me. I couldn't tolerate hearing 'gushy' sympathy and advice from some family members and friends about what I needed to do (as if they knew more than the specialists). I also did not want to spoil the party for others. Does that make sense?
I think that your son is handling this in his own way and on his own terms. He will use the oxygen when he needs it. And he will commuinicate with those he chooses for a variety of reasons. You are absolutely correct that this is taking a toll on his energy. I can understand how difficult this must be for you and your husband to see happening. When I was critical before my transplant, one of my favorite memories is when my brothers would give my mom the phone so she could talk to me. Mom was 92, in a nursing home with dimentia. Sometimes she knew me and she wanted to come to take care of me.
I hope and pray that he will get his transplant when it is the right time for him. The placements can change as patients go up and down due to many variables. And in the long run - the Match is the deciding issue.
Are you and husband still planning to visit Mayo JAX?
Hugs,
Rosemary
Just a general question about muscle spasms. I am suffering severe cramping in my hands, feet, sides, ribs and calves. I have tried icing to no avail. I am one year on the wait list now for a liver transplant. What should i be doing?
Hi,
I have a very close friend of 30 some odd years who is waiting for a liver transplant and has sarcoidosis . She has been bravely handling all the associated hospitalizations, setbacks, kidney stones and infections, now bile duct stones and some heart and lung deterioration though she is not on oxygen yet. I fear that she is ready to give up and even worse that her medical team is planning to take her off the list. She has been on the list for 3 years and suffering with other health problems much longer. From day 1 many people in her life offered to get tested for the living donor program but her medical team initially told her that was not an option. She has a great husband and family who are very supportive and she also has a disabled son who loves and depends on her- so she has a lot to live for! I know she is going through something I can never truly understand but I'm not ready to give up! How can I support and encourage her to keep trying and maybe even try a different medical facility while still respecting her decisions?
Hi @myfriend
You'll notice that I moved your message to this existing discussion called "Are there any other pre-liver transplant caregivers out there?" so that you can meet others who are supporting someone as they wait for a liver transplant.
Like Jeanene said, your friend is very lucky to have you. As you read through the discussions and messages in the Transplant group you will get a sense of what she may be going through and how you might support her.
Do you live close to your friend?
No , there is no Mayo clinic in our state . We have a hospital system with a very good reputation about 1.5 hrs away which I encouraged her to transfer to early on and their transplant team is very organized and coordinated with all the specialties. I know she'll have up and down days, I just wish they would at least talk to her about living donor options , which they haven't yet. Thank-you for your replies and encouragement .