@muppey

I appreciate your post, Mark. My loss was over 10 years ago and while it will never fade completely, it does not have the same intensity that it did originally. I'm glad that you are thinking about going to an AA meeting. That would probably be a good way to connect with others who can support you during this time.

You are working through many of the steps of grief right now, the more support the better.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

@muppey Go to an AA meeting they may help you feel better but don't drive if its far. I sound like a mother grandmother I know sorry. This board does help me because I have someplace I can go to "let it all out". I have more I could let out but not ready yet for that.

People cannot just dismiss things like grief and a loss such as yours where they just leave, I agree. Prayers to you. Sorry typing this brought up a memory I did not want to remember. Got to go.

A friend of mine, a bereaved mother and grief author, thinks we grow into our grief. It becomes part of us. Today, 11 years after my daughter died, I understand what she means. In her book, The Courage to Grieve, therapist Judy Tatelbaum says we can make good things from grief. I tried to do this and wrote seven grief recovery/reconciliation books. Helping others helps me.

My therapist and I decided I needed group counseling, so I picked this for my group therapy. Thank you so much for this site. I’ve been reading these stories and they help me not to feel like I’m an island unto myself.

I lost my sister in November 2017. We were very close. She wasn’t only my sister she was my mentor, best friend and confidante.

I’m trying to not be angry over her passing, I know anger is part of grief, but ( I’ll call her Sally) Sally had been really ill for years. Congestive heart failure was the illness.

I’m working to get through this loss with dignity, because that’s how Sally would want me to do, I’m trying to be strong for her children and keep my other siblings tight in my life.

My question is how to not be angry at her for dying and leaving me behind. Yes, I know it’s childish, it sounds like it to me also, but that’s where my anger and irrititability comes from. I thank you for listening to my rambling story. Thanks

Most people believe anger is part of grief, but I didn't get angry in 2007 when my daughter (mother of my twin grandchildren), father-in-law, brother, and the twins' father died. I did get angry, however, at some of the things people said to me. Your anger may come from losing such a close companion and mentor, and fear of what the future holds. I wondered if I would still be the same person. This is my 11th year without my loved ones, and I realize I'm the "new and improved" model of who I used to be. Multiple losses made me more grateful for the miracle of life and a more empathetic person.

Hello @sunnymygirl

I am glad that you chose Connect as your therapy group. I'm pleased to have you contributing to this discussion. As you read the posts from others I'm sure you will find strength and support.

Your sister sounds like an exceptional person. If you are comfortable doing so, can you share some memories of her?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

Thanks for another like Teresa

Hi!
You sound like a very strong and wise person. I admire your strength to come out the other side the 'new and improved' model.
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Hello!
First, let me say that I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I believe you made a good decision to see a therapist. Sometimes we need someone to talk to who will not judge and who is not invested in the relationship you had with the deceased person.

Being angry about the death of a person who you were so close to, is NOT childish! We all have the rite to grieve in our own way and time. When it does not go away for a long period of time and it interferes with our ability to be productive, that is when I would say that professional help might be needed.

When my mother passed, I was beyond sad and angry! I held it inside for so long, that I developed physical problems. When I went to the doctor for treatment, he told me it was my body's way to react and that I could expect more of the same for 3 years.

I had terrible images in my head of how she look the last days of her life. She no longer looked like herself. As the years have passed, those images have turned into those of her healthy and happy. It took me years to get to that point.

Best wishes to you!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Thank you for your kind words Ronnie. Life's challenges either make you weaker or stronger. I chose to be stronger.