I am so sorry for your loss. Recalling from my own experiences.....it has been such a short time since your mother passed, and you can expect that the grieving is intense right now. Regrets are also not unusual either, but remember that we are all human and have made mistakes and though we can't go back and change most things, we absolutely can move forward and live "this new day". It has been many years since my husband passed away at a young age and I still miss him. The "sharp" pain of loss isn't there anymore, but a degree of sorrow stays with me, and I am sure it always will. Within a short time after his death I made a determined decision to go back to work, see family/friends, and just keep myself involved. This wasn't easy to do as I really didn't have it in my heart to even leave my house - but I did, and for me it proved to be the best therapy to help get through a heart-breaking and life-changing loss. My thoughts are with you....

@punkinpie I bet you are strong enough. Thank God for dogs! I will say that eventually the crying will lesson. I don't know if it will stop. Maybe for you it will. It hasn't for me but it is less often. It happens for what seems no reason or not one that should make you cry. It's not a bad thing let it out. At some point you will decide that you have to get up, you have to go out and do something ( I don't know what that is for you) even though you don't feel like doing it because if you don't you may never get out again. When that time comes go. Go do what ever you used to do. Routine, normalcy (or something close to it) really can help. I hope you find some folks to talk with outside of work. Don't stop talking to your dog. What kind do you have? Maybe going on small walks with your pup will help.

Hi, @punkinpie -- I'm really sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how lost I might feel if my mom passed away. I think your reaction (wanting to eat chocolate and sleep) are pretty normal considering what you are going through. Very understandable.

One thing you might consider is calling or messaging your doctor on a secure portal to tell them about what you are going through and what you are experiencing. They may be able to prescribe something additional if any antidepressants you have already been taking are not sufficient for your current situation.

I am glad to hear you have your little dog to keep you company and to talk to. A discussion here on Connect that you may want to check out is this one on the value of an animal: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-pets-can-do-health-and-healing/bookmark/?ajax_hook=action&_wpnonce=5f9cb2a9a7

Are you up to any exercise at all right now, like a dog walking to get a little sunshine, cardio and fresh air?

One person I read on the internet said that your grief is real and you should acknowledge it and cry if you want and not feel like your doing something weak. Death of a loved one is rated as the most painful, and death of a marriage is the second most devastating trauma a person can go through. I suppose if you don't like your spouse or hate him then there is no problem on her part but the dumped person can suffer greatly. It hurts a lot. Grieve if you need to.
Sorry for your loss.

punkinpie, No this crying is not feeling sorry for your self, it's called mourning, cry, let the tears go. I miss my little dog, Muppey. A sad story on our little dog, she's fine but I miss her. A little poodle mix, she used to lick my bald head when I was sleeping. I'd wake up sometimes and other times Mary would tell me that Muppey had licked my head for so long. She's cute.
OK! I am a man, men don't cry, yes we do, I've been in construction for a long time and could lift and jiggle those beams by myself. Always thought I was strong until Mary left me, ghosted, gone, no clue.
Anyway, several hours after a lot of stuff happened her son Jon and her girlfriend Traci knocked on my door, I knew Mary was already not coming home. The two acted like home invaders and I was in shock from what Mary did so I couldn't resist if I wanted to. Traci grabbed Mary's clothes and suitcase I put Mary's meds in the bag. Then they grabbed Muppey and left. They treated me like a piece of something and I thought they were my friends, they didn't even say shit to me.

Hi, @muppey -- just wanted to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm really glad you've found this community. You have been through an excruciating amount of loss and betrayal. I can't begin to imagine how much all of what you've gone through recently would hurt.

You mentioned going to an appointment with a therapist and having another appointment for April 5. What if you were to call and ask to move up your appointment to an earlier date, since you are in such acute pain and have so much to process right now?

Hi lisalucier, The VA is not that flexible. If I rescheduled it would put me to a later date not sooner. It was kind of funny but not to much, maybe another word. I asked the therapist what can I do with the gossip? She just told me to ignore it. I don't think that helped any but it's true, nothing you can do.

I lost my mother too in 2014 and its so hard especially when you deal with depression too. I am 57 also and I do not know about you but the older I get the more I cry it seems. The guilt and sadness you feel all the time. The alone feelings were my worse, or is my worse because I constantly feel alone even though I am not, as I use to call her every day and now nothing. Prayers for you.
What kind of fur baby do you have? I have a Morkie, Zozo, who is 14, and 2 Huskies, Zeus and Dolly. They are 3 and 4 years old, I think..

pumkinpie I'm sorry for your loss I lost my grandma last year in october 2017 she smoked all her life too she had cancer for 5 years and her and I would share stories and laught or cry over the years sometimes we didn't get along but we was very close she was a strong woman I keep waking up at 3 too 5 am every morning for the first time I last night I slept a good few hours got up at 8 am. I hope God heals you too.

Antidepressants cause weight gain and hair loss. I know from experience. When you are depressed, walking your dog seems to be out of the question. Just leaving your house is monumental. Talking to your dog is actually wonderful therapy. However, after a while, you have to force yourself to get out, mingle with people even if it is going to a store and being nice to the clerk. Going to church, joining a church, joining a women's group at church is great for your wellbeing. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. We don't know what has happened to another person, perhaps you have more in common than you know. God bless you.