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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
My mother just passed away this last weekend, Jan 13, 2018. I must not be handling it well cause all I want to do is eat chocolate and sleep. She smoked her entire life, and in the last 10 years got very little exercise. She had an office chair that she would roll around in in the kitchen. Rarely did she walk anywhere, only to the bathroom and bed. She had such a hard time getting enough air (COPD) and it scared her when she couldn't catch her breath. I am about 3 hrs away for the last 18 months, so we didn't spend a lot of time together, but we did talk a lot on the phone. Towards the end that was hard too cause you can't breath you can't talk. I kept telling her she needed to get up and walk, but she wouldn't. So now at 57 I will never be able to talk to her again. Its not that she gave me such stellar advice, it was just that I had someone to listen to me. I have not made any close friends here (Rochester, MN) but I have people at work to talk to, but you have to be careful what you tell them too. I don't want things spread all over the place. So I mostly talk to my little dog. He always has time to listen to me, his Mama. Mom and I both have depression. I hate this feeling of being alone. It is worse now. I cry at every little thing. Like I am not even taking my medicine. But I am. Is this crying, feeling sorry for myself. Is this how my life will be now. I hate crying, but some days I can't seem to stop. My daughter said it best. She said it comes in waves. I have lived so long suffering with "waves" of depression, I don't know if I a am strong enough to bear this too.
Replies to "My mother just passed away this last weekend, Jan 13, 2018. I must not be handling..."
Hello @punkinpie
It has been a while since you last posted and I was thinking about you. I hope you are beginning to process and adjust to the loss of your mom.
How are you feeling these days? I would enjoy hearing from you.
Teresa
You are strong enough. I suggest you may want to read a book I bought on Amazon called, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I lost my brother three and half years ago fairly suddenly. I was out of the country when he was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with cancer through out his body. He was only given 6 weeks to live but I was never made aware of this. He always protected me, and once again the word was out that no one was to tell me of his life expectancy. I had to put on the bravest face I could because I felt it was time for me to protect him. For me to step up and take care of him. When he passed away I was devastated and in shock. I have never experienced grief as I experienced it then. I did not know something could hurt physically so much. I was angry, in denial, guilty and overcome with such a sadness I can't even begin to describe. Someone told me at the wake, it's hard but it softens in time. I honestly could not see this ever happening. After about a year, the pain and sobbing subsided but it is never far from my mind. I don't think you ever get over someone you love. I think "softening" is the right word. It's not as raw. My personal opinion is that crying is good. You have to let it out and this may sound strange, but I bought a bunch of paint by number sets because it was the only thing that made me relax and stop thinking about him for a few hours. It's tough but it will get better. Don't give up.
Punkinpie,
Let me share your feelings of loss, sorrow and emptiness. Im so sad to hear about your Mom punkin.
I dont know if you read my post but I just lost my daughter, Kirstin suddenly. She was only 45. I can copy and post my horrific story for you. I need to connect to someone who has feelings like me. Like you, I am going thru crying every day feeling I could have done more. I go to pieces looking at her pic. My husband is feeling somewhat the same. Kirstin us our only child and her and I were very close.
Heres my story do you can understand.....I will copy and paste it below for you.
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Hi, @woogie -- you mentioned a potential weight gain side effect of antidepressants. Wanted to point to a Mayo Clinic article that may be of interest in that regard: https://mayocl.in/2rkKKCu.