Hello @clydecaldwell -- I noticed this is your first time posting. I would like to welcome you to Mayo Connect and thank you for sharing how you deal with acceptance. You bring up some great points and I think by everyone sharing how they deal with acceptance there may be someone out there that can relate and benefit from this discussion.

Hoping for a stress free, pain free and blessed Christmas Day for all our Connect members and friends.

John

Thank you for the way you describe how you structure life as it has changed. I too surround myself with photos,past achievements...they may be a few years old but still valid. As for writing, I try to keep my journal focused on positive as well. I am a 'quote collector' and find they are wonderful to remember in difficult times. Helen Keller and e.e. Cummings always seem to have a good word. "I cannot do everything, but I can do something."☺

I am amazed to read how so many people who have been through years of suffering and the permanent consequences of these various conditions are able to stress the positive. Sometimes these consequences mean that the very "something" that you are trained to do becomes precisely what you can no longer do.

I had the opportunity to listen to a presentation on the brain by Dr. Amit Sood last year and was able to take away some great tips. He has a website with a lot of short videos that are fun to listen to as well as informative. Here is a link to his site:

-- http://stressfree.org/

Here is his video explaining the brain's role in stress:

Yes, quotes are my favorite to keep as well.
Also, I still receive invites to attend events but am very careful and rarely attend, I still care for all the people but make the decision to keep my focus on those things I want to do as part of my lifestyle strategy.
It is working well and am pleased that I spend all the time I want doing carpentry and such, no phone, “my personal rendition of recluse”.
Few exceptions, this site is one.

I see that a lot. Perhaps the lure of fame and fortune when we are starting our journey in life clouds our personal purpose in life.
Once trained we “hit the Street,” work hard and what we focus on grows. Doing more, and more!

I had to find and write down a list of things important to just me and replant negative events and thoughts with positive and pleasant ones. It works well. Much happier now.

Thank you. Have s great day as well.

I think I have learned to accept that I will never be able to resume my career as a financial advisor as I don't think I would be a prudent fiduciary. I still play around with a tiny amount in the market and manage some for my mother, but am very careful to understand the decisions I make and always sleep on any idea. I think acceptance and replacement is key to trying to stay positive. I have posted my struggles with depression in that group and have to work at being positive; it is definitely not my default way of thinking. I think you are correct about those who post here and are so positive despite long term physical ailments. I guess the idea that it is your attitude towards what happens to you that determines who you are or choose to be and I applaud all of those who choose positivity.

Thank you for your insights. I really did love my career at Arthritis Foundation, but I know I realistically could not do it effectively. The search for what can replace it is one of the most difficult things I have ever done.

Yes, positive people in the face of suffering and loss deserve a lot of credit. But I am trying to envision how a world-class musician who loses the faculty to play his instrument, for example, manages to focus on the positive. For me, it would be impossible. You would have to tell yourself it's better than death (or maybe it's not).