How to support friends and family who support you

Posted by resolve @resolve, Dec 13, 2017

I have major depression. It struck like mighty lightening without warning when I was fifty. As a healthcare provider and mother of five, my role of prioritizing the care of others became suddenly and drastically reversed. For many, depression does not leave politely through the back door after striking.

I am interested in learning about the experience of others as they manage the challenge of supporting those you love when you, yourself, are in such desperate need.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@peach414144

this site is good for me because i can vent. there is no family for me and my friends are passing away with age. so sometimes when things are bad i thank you and this site for being here. the latest is: i have been wondering why i have been so very, very depressed lately. so i went hunting on the internet and realized "my anemia is worsening and this can contribute to the sadness." it has never been this bad before. knowing what i am dealing with is a great help. tomorrow i will cook liver and onions with mashed potatoes. (and beets) have a nice evening to all. peach

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So true, Vicky, @vsinn2000

Sometimes you need to just to allow your tears to flow.

Teresa

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@resolve It seems I veered off the question. I apologize for doing so.

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Hi, @resolve -- you'd talked about having major depression come on you suddenly and the challenges you'd seen with parenting and working in the healthcare field to meet their needs when you were facing significant needs of your own. Wondering how things are going with your depression and also with your work and home life in the midst of that?

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I do not share how severe my depression is with family or friends. Rejection would be their answer. My youngest sister once threatened to have me locked up in a state hospital. I was not suicidal. She does not understand depression and it is not her fault. I do need to be locked a way. She has POA of my medical. I no longer speak with her. Anything negative is "toxic". She saw a therapist that told her to avoid negative people in her life. It works for her. Her definition of negative is different than mine. People who do not live in nice houses and have money are toxic. There are people like this...
Major depression is something I have learned is best not discussed with family. There is nothing they can do. I "get it".

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@parus

I do not share how severe my depression is with family or friends. Rejection would be their answer. My youngest sister once threatened to have me locked up in a state hospital. I was not suicidal. She does not understand depression and it is not her fault. I do need to be locked a way. She has POA of my medical. I no longer speak with her. Anything negative is "toxic". She saw a therapist that told her to avoid negative people in her life. It works for her. Her definition of negative is different than mine. People who do not live in nice houses and have money are toxic. There are people like this...
Major depression is something I have learned is best not discussed with family. There is nothing they can do. I "get it".

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I'm sorry your sister is so insensitive. I don't talk about my depression with my family either. When I have they just kinda brush it off or make light of it. I've just started Lexapro and Remeron. I'm noticing some improvement. Today has been pretty blah, hope tomorrow is better for us all.

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@kdo0827 There are times when "blah" is better. Hoping a better day for you tomorrow.

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