THANKS for all the good leads. I'm doing OK. I've dealt with depression for decades, so I've developed good ways to cope. I'm just always some degree of sad and having to move where I don't feel "home" is making it harder. Not to mention the health problems! But I'm hanging in. I just want to do better than that.

@soloact

Welcome, SA. You're very pretty in your photo. I bet that a lot of the people around you have no idea what's going on inside you. Most people around me probably don't have a clue, either. My poor wife does, though, having lived with the depressed me for the past 15+ years. Before that, even I didn't know what was going on inside me.

I went through the very long process of searching for the right antidepressant that helped me climb up out of a pit of despair, and landed on Bupropion. I take Clonazepam for anxiety, and a nice added benefit of it is that I don't act out my dreams, as in kicking my wife. That's the one med that she doesn't complain about, or want me to stop. Of course, other meds are for sleep apnea, peripheral neuropathy, arthritis, shoulder pain, SVT, allergies, reflux, anemia, OAB, plus all the vitamins. Sometimes it's a challenge to juggle them all.

I'm a retired pastor, and I was always very healthy, so taking all these pills is quite a change. I retired at 55 at the firm recommendation of my doctors. I was attempting suicide, and chose to go to a secure recovery facility, where I stayed for 6 weeks the first time. They introduced me to coping skills, and I learned a lot about mental illness. I had already done the process of elimination with antidepressants, but after I got out, I met weekly with a psychiatrist to figure out a broader diagnosis of my illness. I found out that I had OCD, PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, and Depressive Bipolar. Oh yeah, suicidal ideation, too. I had no idea I was that bad. I just figured that I was pretty normal. I found out that not everyone feels the way I did.

I also started seeing a therapist. I've lost count of how many I've had. I live in central Oregon, near a small town, and therapists only stay for a year or so, and move on to $reener pastures. I went without one for 18 months, until the new man moved here in March of this year. I was very depressed and becoming suicidal by the time he came. After the first session, I told him that he had saved my life. I tell him almost every week how much I appreciate him.

I guess you can tell what I'd have to say about meds and therapists. The combination of the two is the most effective treatment for depression and other mental health issues. Every study confirms that. How long ago did you talk with a therapist or psychologist or counselor? How long ago did you try to find a medication that would treat your depression without interacting with heart medication? I take Diltiazem for supra ventricular tachycardia. I went through the same process of trial and error to find a medication that would help my peripheral neuropathy pain. That's another whole story.

I told the therapist last week that I'm really tired of being depressed. It certainly wears a person down, as you know. I also volunteer as part of my therapy. Many of us have discovered how helpful that can be.

I've rambled on long enough. It's time for our couples devotions, so I leave you with the encouragement of knowing that there are many, many good people here who will enjoy having conversation with you. We each have something to contribute, and we all have things to learn.

Jim

Thanks for replying, Jim.