To move near family or stay put

@gravity3 Indeed it is a matter of whose priorities.
BUT - In my humble opinion, part of the breakdown in society we are seeing is when "priorities" begin and end with "me and mine", with little or no regard for others, whether family, neighbor or greater community.

How do we break the mold and teach people to care about others so we have a better society? My Dad used to say "Charity begins at home." I would expand that include compassion and empathy. Society urgently needs to establish this as a norm or it is going to collapse. It needs to begin with each of us expressing and modelling this to our own family, friends and community.

Almost every time I am with my daughter and her kids, she says one of these at least once:
It's not just about you and what you want. Maybe it is [brother's] turn to choose.
[Mom] is speaking to [Dad], please wait your turn.
You already have 2 weekly [sports, activities]. More would take away too much [family, study, leisure] time.
No screen time until you do your chore.

Instead parents are run ragged, go into debt, give up their social lives and extended family - and the kids learn life is "All about me." Just ask anyone who works in a school or coaches a sport.

PS I spend half of each year in a family-centric 95% Hispanic community. Elders, whether related or not, are respected. Families gather for any (or no) reason. Kids are comfortable with people of all ages, and teens are frequently seen tending grandparents in between school, sports, part-time jobs and hanging out with friends. All winter, younger people of all ages open doors, reach high shelves, load packages into my car, or offer to take my yard waste to the dumpster. If it happens in my north suburban home, it is almost always an Hispanic or Asian person who offers.

If your children are encouraging you to move back home I would seriously consider doing it soon before it becomes more difficult. My mother had LTC and was in assisted-living and then in a nursing home for 2 1/2 years after my father passed. My sibling lives in another state. As time passed she had no visitors and I had to advocate for her as she became increasingly unable to do that for herself. When she stopped driving I took her out to eat, shopping and to doctor appointments for a long time until I couldn’t take her out anymore. It’s my opinion that care teams at hospitals as well as staff at retirement/nursing home facilities are so much better when they have family visiting and asking questions about the care of their loved one. As time goes on it can be very lonely living in these facilities and if you are fortunately enough to have children who want you close to them you should take advantage of it.

@lori098
Hello everyone, when my husband died 7 years ago, my children had all already left home, and I was left living in a 5-bedroom house on my own. I am fairly involved in community and social activities, so I was not lonely but enjoyed the freedom of living alone. Last year I was diagnosed with ALS. Luckily I seem to have the slowly progressing form, and as I am 72 I feel as if I have done and achievd a lot, so I am not distressed by the fact that my lifespan will be shortened.
I can't remember who first raised the idea, but what has happened is that my eldest son and his partner have moved in to live with me. We gave it a lot of thought, working out our boundaries and privacy issues, but it is a wonderful medium-term arrangement for me. At the moment I am not badly affected, and I receive some home help through my Support At Home package from the government. When I start to need serious care, I will move to a care home, as I don't want my children to have to manage me 24/7. I have alrady given my eldest son my Enduring Power of Attorney.
I put this out to anyone thinking of moving in with children or moving to be close to children.
I think that family ties are important, and we should try to maintain them, provided we have our boundary and privacy issues settled. Here in Australia we are experiencing a housing crisis. The cost of houses and apartments has soared out of control, and most young people, even those on two incomes, can't afford the deposit to buy their own place, reasonably close to the city, so turning my house into multi-generational -living has been a plus for all of us.
For all of us ageing, where and how to live the rest of our lives is a big issue. I am suggesting one option to you, but it has to be done carefully and with some thought to work. @ellu