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What is an unsexy, raw reality of a long term marriage/relationship.

Posted by TomC7231 @tc7231, Oct 6 5:00pm

On Reddit someone posted this title "What is an unsexy, raw reality of a long term relationship that nobody warns you about."

It got a lot of comments from people in long term relationships that were very moving. How about commenting here as well. (or you can read them on Reddit.)

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

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reets70 | @reets70 | Oct 10 5:00am

I was married to my husband for 65 years, and due to prostate cancer the last 20 years were mostly devoid of any physical relations. It was fine with me because having him here was better than not. He’s gone now, but I wouldn’t have traded any sex-filled life for the one we had together.

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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | Oct 10 8:08am
In reply to @frouke "I always believed and still do that true love happens when you meet someone who is..." + (show)
Profile picture for frouke @frouke

I always believed and still do that true love happens when you meet someone who is truly your soulmate. Love is different for everyone and when I read all the responses here there’s no doubt about it, it really doesn’t matter if you like things that are different from your partner, it just gives you more to talk about. Everyone has heard the saying that opposites attract, there’s truth to this but it only applies if the opposites you have are tolerable. I was quick to put my opinion out there when this topic came up, I later felt very sad for what I wrote especially when I read some of the beautiful comments that came along afterwards, I sounded bitter and angry, truthfully I’m not this person by nature but typically I’m often in the habit of saying something before I carefully think it over. It’s been a pleasure reading all the responses that everyone has made and sharing a part of themselves, it opened up my mind and heart to the beautiful moments that I have shared with another person who I loved and lost far too soon, thank you all for reminding me that love is truly a eternally precious gift.

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@frouke
Yes, the essence of what we call love is not attraction or utilitarian. The essence is something called numinosity.
That's when on the hum drum of everyday living you realize the person who us with you us an angel from heaven who takes you there.
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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | Oct 10 8:08am
In reply to @shmerdloff "@frouke Yes, the essence of what we call love is not attraction or utilitarian. The essence..." + (show)
Profile picture for shmerdloff @shmerdloff

@frouke
Yes, the essence of what we call love is not attraction or utilitarian. The essence is something called numinosity.
That's when on the hum drum of everyday living you realize the person who us with you us an angel from heaven who takes you there.

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@shmerdloff
Sorry for typos.

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crn | @crn | Oct 11 5:03am

Sex can be a wonderful adventure, but companionship, respect, and love far outweigh a physical relationship. How I miss a warm, meaningful hug.

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yaaqovk | @yaaqovk | Oct 11 6:03am

All true, but while you can't build a real loving relationship based on the physical, you can most certainly destroy one by its absence, or an attitude that it's no more than an unwelcome obligation to be done with as soon as possible.

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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | Oct 11 11:41am
In reply to @yaaqovk "All true, but while you can't build a real loving relationship based on the physical, you..." + (show)
Profile picture for yaaqovk @yaaqovk

All true, but while you can't build a real loving relationship based on the physical, you can most certainly destroy one by its absence, or an attitude that it's no more than an unwelcome obligation to be done with as soon as possible.

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@yaaqovk
I have a headache

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | Oct 11 1:51pm

Getting a bit too personal for my taste.

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Profile picture for rollingf Jan David Fisher
rollingf Jan David Fisher | @rollingf | Oct 11 4:43pm

My wife and I were married for 51 years, had six children--2 boys and four girls--and 9 grandchildren with one great grandchild so far. She saw all of the grandchildren before she died. I miss the contact and conversations we had on science and immunology,

ALS is a slow, frustrating disease with no chance for recovery.

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