I'm becoming more comfortable accepting that I'm transgender

You are a member of the LGBTQ community as soon as you say you are. No one can define you or your transition. It is personal and different for everyone. You need to take it at your own pace. You can be trans and never take hormones or have surgery, or you can take hormones, have top, bottom, and facial feminization surgery. Neither makes you more or less trans. You need to go what is right for you. I do suggest talking to a LGBTQ friendly therapist if you can. They can be a big help wading through things. Be well 💚

hi.
congrats on finding yourself.
i hate to be a “Debby Downer” but i would advise holding off on changing your gender markers on official documents until a more welcoming admin is elected.
for me, its too late. i DO however, have dual citizenship and am watching the current roundup and imprisonment of a certain minority carefully. im afraid the collective “we” are next. if/when i see that happen, im leaving this country.
best wishes,
r

Good morning, Olivia (@olivia55)

Once again you've said some things that have my innards vibrating––in an exciting way! Much of what you've told us this morning reminds me of me. You've told us you were a people pleaser. But you use "were." "Were" has me figuring you're over your people pleasing. If that's true, then Congratulations!!! It's not easy, getting over people pleasing.

I, too, was a people pleaser, 24/7. But I still am. To a lesser degree, I hope. I'm 80. (A life-loving, high-spirited 80, I'd like to think. 🙂 )

The phrase "people pleasing," as I've used about myself it all my life, for me it has been another way of saying I'm "chicken," unable to assert myself, to stand on my own, speak my mind, etc., etc., etc. Struggling in secret with this knowledge about myself all through my high school and college years, once I had my bachelor's, I reasoned, "A couple of years in the Army will 'fix' me." So I joined up.

When I got out and was a civilian again (still "unfixed," by the way), to any who'd challenge me, asking me why I'd joined the Army in the first place (in their minds, the military and me didn't to go together), I told a lie, a lie like maybe I was afraid the Army would draft me, or my father expected me to join the Army, or (the dumbest lie of all) joining the Army is what a man does (a "real" man, anyway). At the time I didn't think of my lie as a "bad" lie, a "flat-out lie;" I thought of it more like a "necessary lie." After all, I couldn't tell them the truth. If I had told them I had hoped the Army would "fix" me, I'd have only confused them.

Besides, for most of my life I've had a tough time telling myself the truth.

No longer, however. These days I'm writing all this down, unpacking as much of this as I can. At the top of what I've written I've placed a favorite Sondheim lyric: "No eagle flies against the sky/As eagerly as I/Have flown against my life."

I wish you a wonderful weekend, Olivia.

Cheers!
Ray

Thanks for the advice,I know exactly what you mean,people are people why can't we all get along together,it Wouldn't be that hard to do.

Hello Olivia,
This is an older thread so I’m not sure if you’ll see this or not. I just wanted to thank you for posting, for sharing.
I’m in my early thirties and after hiding from it since I first asked at three years old, I recently came out to my husband, who has been monumentally supportive of me. I have been struggling with it more than he has, I think. In the same way I’ve always known, I guess maybe he did, too.
Your post and the conversations it opened really struck me. It made me realize that I do still have time, that maybe I can still live the life I was denied. It’s just me denying myself at this point.
Thank you.
I hope Olivia has walked out your front door in the daylight.
Be safe and be well.

@purplerain4950, welcome. I'm tagging @olivia55 so she sees your message and the courage and encouragement her words have given you.

Yes, you can live the life you want. What a gift that you have a supportive husband. Don't let you stand in your way. 🙂

Authenticity is ageless, dear! Though I knew I was "different" at age seven, it took an additional sixty one years before I finally let Bobbie back out of the closet. I am fortunate to have a loving wife, adult children who accept me unconditionally, and a range of friends and acquaintances who didn't bat an eye when I invited myself in. For the past four years I've lived out and proud and continue to own a very public facing professional services firm. As long as we provide professional and legally -required services, no one cares that I'm wearing a dress.

Good morning, @purplerain4950. Sooner or later in life we discover––to our delight––that there is no "shelf life" date on coming out. Please accept my congratulations and well wishes! –Ray (@ray666)

Hey there. Whos to say your No Olivia? This is your Life you are in control now. Have some fun with it. Also when I heard you say your therapist asked what your pro nouns are thats up to you if you even want to use them or have one. Just be you!!! Your not doing this to be cookie cutter. Your everything but! Thank goodness for online shopping. Its discreet. OLIVIA is a Beautiful name!!! I pray in your life you feel as free as in the dark that night.
That one day it be within everyones sight.
On that day you will muster up all your Might.
Then She will step into the light. God Bless
Be Happy 😊