Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

I certainly encourage anyone to start a new discussion about pets or perhaps you'd like to join this one:
- What Pets Can Do: Health and Healing https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-pets-can-do-health-and-healing/

Living with cancer is definitely different than before. In October we discovered a melanoma on my back and that my prostate cancer was back and had metastasized to 4 other areas of the bone. I am 70 and had thought that I was in control of my life, as much as you can be, including a successful business career. We still own one business that we have had for 35 years and I am the president. I only say this because I never realized what the mental trauma could be when you realize this can kill you? I was definitely no longer the one in control of my body! I was lucky that when they removed the melanoma and also lymph nodes from my arm pit and the margins came back clean so at least for now we don't have that hanging over us. I have always been an optimist, so keep that in mind but I do realize all of us have a death sentence. We don't get out of this alive. That was an important concept for me to come to grips with. What is really important, if you can, remember that you are still alive and how you live the rest of your life is up to you. Live for the people who love you. I have a great wife of 45 years, a son and his family, my daughter and so many more who I love dearly. I plan on doing everything I can to make the rest of my life what I want it to be. Medicine is always advancing and new treatments may be out there. I could beat cancer or I could die from it down the road or in an accident this morning riding my bike for exercise. We just never know. So fight with the tools you have, make sure, if you can, that you do your best to live the best life you can based on what is important to you. I of course know every day that I have this cancer and it sucks but I am fighting it every day as well. If your doctor doesn't have more ideas don't be afraid to reach out to another clinic or doctor. The Mayo Clinic seems to be a really good option. As a final thought I had a customer years ago who was in his 80's and he had beat eight different forms or recurrences of cancer. He was a true role model of how to live your life.

This is such a positive, hopeful posting @safari1949 . It really helps me think about what’s really important. I don’t have cancer, but I do have an autoimmune disease that has really changed my life. Reading this helps me to put it all in perspective. Thank you

Hello @safari1949

I agree with @becsbuddy that the way you think about life is inspirational! As I have had three surgeries for a rare type of cancer, carcinoid cancer, I understand the value of your thoughts.

I like the way you model the behavior you have learned from others such as the customer you had who had many recurrences of cancer and kept living a positive life. Mirroring the positive attitudes of others is so important.

I agree with you when you say, "So fight with the tools you have..." I like to think that we all have a tool bag that we can put on when life gets tough. The tools in that bag can be physical attributes, spiritual beliefs and/or emotional strengths. As we pull them out when we face difficulties in life they really can help make our attitude as strong as possible!

A very important tool should also be friends and sometimes family. At times we forget that there are people in our lives who do care for us and they don't see your problem as a burden but an opportunity to help, regardless of what you think. It can be difficult to ask for help but if it is offered don't push them away. Good luck with your cancer and remember cancer doesn't define who you are.

That warms my heart and I'm glad! Merry Christmas!

I have had five cancer surgeries since 2012. My last was Dec 6th. I lost my right lung and it is now in my left lung. I feel extremely blessed to still be alive and to enjoy Christmas. I know that in a couple of years cancer will win. I have chondrosarcoma and it is very rare and there is no treatment for it. I enjoy each and every day. I am a very positive person. Cancer is what I have, not who I am. Don’t let it steal who you are and your joy. It may take my body some day but not my spirit. Be positive, be grateful, be you. Go live life. Merry Christmas

Thank you so much, kathleenkin, for being a wonderful inspiration to all of us! Merry Christmas to you!!!

Merry Christmas to you as well😘

Dear Dan ,

My Dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer stage III, 8 months ago .He has not yet tried any alternative treatment such those you mentioned. If you proceed with those , please share your experience.
Yes I think you should Find an oncologist that you trust and like and who is more familiar with pancreatic cancer. Also check radiotherapy. Stereotactic options might be helpful! I heard some very good results in some cases for stereotactic options. Regards Anastasia