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The Caregivers' Guilt Dumpster - Open for business
Caregivers | Last Active: 3 days ago | Replies (376)Comment receiving replies
Hi - I am new to this group. My mother passed away 6 years ago from Leukemia short time from diagnosis to her passing. My father and I took care of her at home with hospice during COVID. It was a horrible experience. My two siblings live in different states and did not come to help. Now my father 87 is diagnosed with what they think is Stage 4 prostate cancer - again I am the one dealing with appointments, tests, doctor visits and such. I am still working (I am self employed) the only child living in the state and cannot believe I am going through this again. I mean it's not that I don't want to - I just feel like everyone expects me to "handle" this. I am so frustrated then feel guilty.
Replies to "Hi - I am new to this group. My mother passed away 6 years ago from..."
@kimne For sure, have no guilt for your feelings !
@kimne Really valid feelings there. You should not feel remotely guilty for having them.
Are there ways your siblings can support you and your father from distance? Can they send Amazon orders of supplies you need? Anything at all. Groceries from Whole Foods, first aid supplies for the elderly (like sensitive skin bandages, etc.), medical equipment Medicare doesn't cover, like commodes.
Better yet... Can they take time off to give you a break and fly in and care for your dad while you take a much-needed vacation? It can be a nice local hotel and a stack of good books for a long weekend. Just somewhere to decompress.
@kimne Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I’m glad you found MCC! Do you have any outside help lined up? You and your dad were a team for your mom, now you need a teammate! Call hospice again and ask if they have any aides that you could hire. You deserve it and you need the help!
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@kimne So sorry your father is now ill and everyone is depending on you to handle. I think your feelings are very normal. It is an emotional roller coaster for sure.