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Being young with chronic pain

Posted by alm1234 @alm1234, Feb 11 5:31pm

I’m 21, and I’ve had pain in my legs, back and hips since I was 18. I feel so hopeless. I’m already chronically disabled with something else, and I manage that the best I can, but recently I can’t shake the absolute dread and grief I’ve been feeling about all of it. I’m in therapy too for ongoing mental health issues, not caused by my health, but instead the other way around (which I’m also upset about because I went through a lot as a kid and now I’ll get a reminder of that for the rest of my life). I guess I’m finally grieving the life I could have had, considering I’ve been disabled since I was 14. I’m not even sure that I want to continue with therapy, because I figure what’s the point? I’ll never live the life I wanted to. Just feeling very lost and hopeless and sad

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rockon79 | @rockon79 | Jul 23 12:47pm
In reply to @alm1234 "VENT: my future and disability pay i get chronic pain in my legs, as a part..." + (show)
Profile picture for alm1234 @alm1234

VENT: my future and disability pay

i get chronic pain in my legs, as a part of a disorder i have. all of this is debilitating, exhausting and i would give anything to not have it. i’m 21, and have been on disability pay for a few years, because i need help/ don’t do most basic things and can’t work because of my health. they’ve just cut it, saying you are disabled (also recognised in other areas of government) but you don’t get as much help as you need to qualify for it. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong because my health hasn’t changed since the original assessment and never will. i’m just getting upset because i now can’t pay for the ideal help i need to manage my symptoms, medications and appointments. i’m just having a hard time figuring out how to find my place and my footing without this

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@alm1234. It appears our situations are different on many levels but the chronic pain, at times unbearable has also been a part of my life for too many years. That incite alone allows me an understanding of your mind set that very few or actually no one could gain without living that "nightmare"! In your initial post you mentioned TWICE that you felt "hopeless"! In so many ways that saps all mental and emotional energy (even physical, at times) resulting in such deep depression which robs the power necessary for reasonable, sane and realistic ideas to the contrary (you still have two arms and two legs, you are not crazy, count your blessings-others have it worse and on and on). Some times even that type of affirmation and positive thinking advice fall on deaf ears, because, after years of this constant hell I need some sort of physical relief, not just words that do not really change any facet of my suffering. Oh, I fully comprehend the benefits of positive thinking, and if I did not zealously work to apply that I would be totally defeated and give up! Even though I seesaw, I will not give up and I sincerely hope you won't also (don't feel so hopeless)! That is what I tell myself and am also advising you. This message is also "just words" but, hopefully they have some power since they are words based on a mutual understanding of chronic suffering and what that does to our mind set and outlook. This is so important that I wanted to take the time to reply, not just punch in a like, helpful or a hug!

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